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Last week, I facilitated a private Bodysexsession and when we finished, as usual as always, I had this feeling that these sessions give me a unique chance to closely observing the orgasm. And particularly, observing the lack of orgasm. 

I recalled what old mathematical law we studied at school, the order of the factors does not alter the product. Also, a famous quote from Oscar Wilde came to mind: “everything has to do something with sex, except sex itself”… and I thought that everything has to do with orgasm but the orgasm itself.

In these sessions, you clearly see that the orgasm is both pleasure and fun. But, this is the important thing, it’s not only about that. Orgasm is also a wonderful way of liberating blockades and facing problems that most surely have few or nothing at all to do with the sex thing. 

And, reaching this point, I can’t help wondering. Usually, when you discuss sex it seems inevitable assuming that you’re talking about pleasure or reproduction. Like there’s nothing else out of these two possibilities. It’s either one or the other, luckily both of them.

But also, it seems to be generally accepted that sexuality is an essential and core component in every adult. I very much doubt that if we make a street poll anybody is denying that. Our sexuality is a crucial element in our personal balance. We all agree on that.

Hence my unrest. If we all have it so clear, what are we doing then, when something just doesn’t go right? And why do we have to wait until something goes wrong before we face our own sexuality? Wouldn’t it make much more sense addressing our sexuality as a priority, positive and even playful fact, since we all agree on it being so essential for our own beings?

It’s just fascinating. There’s a lot of experiences we associate with sex. And a long row of stuff that is unblocked when it goes right, and vice-versa. We often fail to reach an orgasm because of obtrusive thoughts, lack of sexual appetite, stress, low self-esteem, disconnection from our bodies, lack of confidence, anxiety, etcetera.

The conventional order of factors would tell us that, if we have trouble with our orgasm, we should go step by step. First think, then act. It would tell us first to identify the problem source, then solve it, to finally reach the orgasm.

And I feel, though, that it’s time to be more creative. Time to change the order of the factors. Act first, and then start thinking if that’s the case. For first focusing in our orgasm, unveiling then the amount of things that are unblocked, even those apparently unrelated. The same ones that were blocking it from the start. 

Because, end of the day, everything has to do with the orgasm except the orgasm itself  - the orgasm is liberation.