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Dear Betty

My fiancé just found out that I was faking orgasms.. Honestly I did and I was trying to make it seem so real but somehow he found out.. That doesn't mean I was lying the whole time I had great G spot orgasms but the problem is I don't know why can't I come every time we make love.

I'm not a fan of masturbation but I tried lately just by stimulating my clit and I came twice in 8mins. Please tell me how to deal with this emotionally because I know it hurt his feeling by making him think he's not good enough for me and sexually to make sure that whenever we make love or have sex we both enjoy it without having to fake orgasms or act and lie.

Thank you so much

Dear F,

The G-spot is very indirect clitoral stimulation and works for very few women! The reason so many men like this is that they mistakenly believe a woman is having an orgasm because they squirt like a man ejaculates. However, women who do have this response have all said the same thing: Squirting is NOT the same thing as having an orgasm. It feels nice but it's very indirect clit stim as you have just discovered by masturbating and touching your clitoris. That's a woman's primary organ for sexual pleasure. The vagina is the birth canal but it's a man's favorite form of sex as it feels the best for him. Faking orgasm is universal because we are not taught the basics of female sexual response.

Also, Please note: You're the one not coming and yet, you're worried about hurting HIS feelings! When we think about that, it's absolutely crazy. Women mincing our words, walking on egg shells and terrified we might upset him while we are the ones not coming! Now you know why masturbation is so important. It gets women in touch with their own sexual response instead of faking orgasms to please their partner.

Dr. Betty

Hi Dr Betty

Thank you so much for your advice it really helped. So we talked about it and we tried and it was perfect, we started with him on top then 69 then the doggy style while I was stimulate my clitoris and it was amazing maybe the best sex with him but the problem now as soon as I reach climax I can't let him move anymore I just want to enjoy his penis inside me and let myself cool down, my question is is there anyway to orgasm and start again straight afterwards?! And will you please tell me is there an average time that it should take for me to orgasm? Should it take the same time for both of us?

Thank you
M

Glad my information helped. Right after you come, your clitoris is hyper sensitive but if you wait a few minutes while rocking and squeezing your PC muscle and breathing fully, she will calm down and then you can continue. Just experiment more and you'll discover what works best for both of you.

As for timing on male and female orgasm, if I had the answer to that I wouldn't be sitting her educating people. As a rule, it often takes women longer to get off than men, but that's not etched in stone. Some men struggle to come and some women pop right off. Forget averages when it comes to sexuality. We are all very unique.

Dr. Betty