It was a Beautiful Weekend with Eight Beautiful Souls

It was a Beautiful Weekend with Eight Beautiful Souls

Carlin Ross

Submitted on Mon, 11/17/2014 - 20:51

My pregnancy has been bliss but, now that I'm in my 7th month, I'm noticing that I don't have the energy or mobility that I used to - I kind of lumber about and things take a bit longer. After running our first certification workshop in October, it was nice to run a regular workshop, to meet a new group of women and usher them through this trans-formative experience.

Something felt different about this workshop...there was a solemnity to it all that we haven't experienced in other groups and I'm not sure why. Maybe something shifted with us...maybe it was the women. As I set up the circle, I kept catching images of my ever-changing body in the mirror. My swollen breasts and very pregnant belly don't exactly resonate with me. Even Betty remarked that when she looked at my body she didn't quite recognize me - it was so foreign. It's not that I don't love the changes I'm experiencing - it's pretty magical - but the visual is almost overwhelming.

The women hailed from all over the globe: Israel, Chile, Mexico, Boulder, Michigan, Minnesota, Connecticut, Manhattan and Brooklyn. As always, they were fabulous. We never ask the women their background or ages but there's a consistent mix of ethnicity and age groups that balances out perfectly. That is the divinity that seems to weave itself throughout the Bodysex experience. It feels ordained like each women that's in the circle was destined to be there - in this group at this moment in time.

The energy in the circle was grounded and peaceful. There are times that we have high energy groups because women are struggling to let go of their past and fully embrace the experience but not this past weekend. They were all ready to receive. Betty and I don't know whether it was something specific to this group or if there's been some sort of shift in our work. I do feel more balanced then I ever have in my life and it's not just the pregnancy.

One of my favorite Anais Ninn quotes is that "we don't see people as they are we see them as we are". We project our fear, anxiety and insecurity on to others and that undermines our relationships. Lately, I feel completely free of anxiety and fear so that I can truly see others for who they are and not what I need them to be. And this feeling of abundance was seaped into every aspect of my life, every relationship. I feel closer to myself, Betty, my husband, the women in our workshops and the soul growing inside my belly.

I'm not afraid to be vulnerable. I'm have an infinite amount of patience. I don't feel the need to justify my behavior. I don't feel compelled to protect or defend myself. I feel steadfast, strong, and compassionate. My transformation feels amazing.

Erotic recess was special. Betty kicked things off with a huge orgasm and I quickly followed. The orgasms went around the circle and the sounds were soothing and soulful. There was this calmness and solemnity that felt spiritual. We were united in pleasure, together yet alone.

Every time I had an orgasm my belly would tighten. I ran my vibrator over my belly and thought, "that's for you" as it softened and released. Betty felt that the tightening and softening was creating waves of amniotic fluid for baby Grayson to surf - I agree. That kind of sex positivity has to leave its mark. In these moments, I feel hopeful.