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This week, I attended a workshop lead by my friend Allison on pegging. The maligned and misunderstood subject was being filmed for a Swedish TV show - and featured adult performer Wolf Hudson as the pegee.

The afternoon shoot was informative and inspiring. Here’s why: Allison was deeply in tune and attentive to Wolf’s needs. And Wolf let himself be vulnerable and available to the experience. In watching the two communicate and interact, I clearly saw the importance of men learning how to receive penetration from a woman.

Watching Allison and Wolf gave me a sense of the intimacy, fun and pleasure that’s available anytime we open and connect sexually. But as a man, relaxing and opening enough to allow penetration takes our vulnerability and the challenging of our psychological and social mores to a new skill level.

One woman in the audience said that she won’t even date a man unless he’s willing to let her peg him. “If a guy isn’t willing to open up to me, then I am not willing to open up to him. Simple.”

Here’s why: it’s difficult to be a true sexual black belt without empathy for your partner. Men who never receive will continue to lack basic understanding about the effects that foreplay, clear communication and non-judgmentalness has on relaxing into and receiving full pleasure from our sexual experiences. However, when he has that experience in his body, then he can more easily empathize.

Suddenly it makes real-world sense when a woman’s words – or her body – says “I’m not ready for penetration.”

That being said, once Wolf was warmed up and ready, I loved watching him unabashedly go for his pleasure in the nimble hands, and strap-on, of Allison, As seen on Swedish TV.