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We say it every time but this past weekend's workshop was the best one yet.

When we chose the dates for our Summer session, I was in my last trimester. I had no idea how I was going to pull it all off with a three-month old baby...would I be able to set up the room and do all the physical work that goes into a workshop...would Grayson be able to sit in the back room without screaming his head off...would I be sleeping enough to be present in the circle? I had total first-time-mom gitters.

My first hurdle was finding child care. I'm doing attachment parenting which is controversial (people constantly tell me that I'm spoiling him) so Grayson is used to 24/7 mommy time. I didn't want to log on to care.com because anyone who'd stay with Grayson would also have to be sex positive enough to be one room away from 11 masturbating women. When I mentioned it to a friend, she stepped up to the Bodysex plate and agreed to watch my little man. It was great to know that my child's first experience without mommy would be with one of my dearest friends. As Betty always says, the goddess provides.

To say I have the best husband in the world is an understatement. He spent his weekend traveling to Betty's, helping me set up, and making sure that I had everything I needed to pull off Bodysex. Having a partner who supports our work is so rewarding. There's acceptance and then there's celebration. Choose a partner who celebrates who you are and what you want to accomplish.

The women were spectacular. As we introduced ourselves and answered "how do you feel about your body & orgasm", one of the women shared something she believed would reflect badly on her character (social convention and the slut stigma at work). It only improved our opinion of this amazing woman. And she inspired another woman in the group to take the first step in fully expressing her sexuality later that evening. Knowing that her share was received and catalyst for change in others was so healing. Honesty and independence are infectious.

Grayson ended up in the circle for most of the workshop. I think he's an extrovert because every time I left him in the back room he cried until I carried him back into the living room with the other women. He cooed and babbled up a storm. I had to take this pic of us nursing during genital show & tell:

It was interesting to watch his developing mind process what was going on, it was like he knew Betty's role and the magnitude of what was happening. There was a part of me that wanted him in that room so he could witness that kind of sisterhood. One of the women took my role of photographer and shot all our vulvas. She also served as our resident pussy expert and used her medical knowledge to explain to one of the women that a few white spots on your labia is quite normal. Women armed with medical knowledge bring so much to these circles. If we could get pleasure/orgasm and genital knowledge into standard gynecological practices across the country, things would be so different.

Erotic recess was the only ritual where Grayson was out of the circle. I didn't want him to be a buzz kill and mommy needed some orgasm R&R. My c-section really threw me for a loop because it was the first time I had surgery - the first time I felt pain in my genital area. Once the pain subsided, I was numb from the waist down for about two months. But I forced myself to masturbate to get my body back and it was kind of awful. I knew enough to add extra lube but when I tried to insert my dildo it wouldn't go in. My vagina was virgin tight, I'm guessing from the trauma of the surgery. It was shocking. Now I understand vaginismus. My vagina was dead except for the first ring of muscles at the opening that burned when I tried penetration. I had to breathe and push through the pain. It was depressing.

So I was dealing with first-time mom gitters and anxiety about demonstrating Betty's Rock 'n Roll orgasm technique before erotic recess.

With Betty by my side, I was able to penetrate my vagina without any pain. I shared my story knowing that two of the women in the circle suffered from vaginismus. If I could move through the pain and get my vag back they could too. When we moved into erotic recess, I had no expectations. We stood together in a circle with our new rechargable Magic Wands and rocked our pelvises while we giggled. The visual of the cordless Wands and all these beautiful women was perfection.

Let's just say that I orgasmed...Betty orgasmed...the women orgasmed...all was right with the world. I officially got my body and my orgasm back post-birth. And I kind of knew the timing would be perfect when we chose the dates. Grayson would be old enough to separate from me and I would be healed enough to move back into pleasure. I don't think that this could have happened with my partner, it had to happen in the circle in sisterhood. There wasn't any performance anxiety and the sounds of other women's pleasure encouraged me to keep going. I coasted from one orgasm to another and snapped this pic:

When we broke for group massage, I brought Grayson back into the room. We sat and watched as each woman laid down and the others massaged her body with almond oil. This is when Grayson started babbling up a storm. He was making eye contact with the women...cooing...sharing his opinion...and flirting up a storm.

I'm so grateful to be doing this work and the continued healing in my life. And I'm so grateful that, at 86, Betty is willing to put herself out there. Despite constant body pain, she gets up and down off the floor and tirelessly shares her knowledge with the next generation. This second-wave feminist war horse won't stop until all women enjoy independent orgasms.

Thank you
Infinity
Xena
The Lady
Yoni
Smokey Jewel
Possum
Dusky Rose
Reina
High Priestess