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Dear Betty,

I am a 48 year old man who throughout my life has only ever been able to achieve ejaculation by employing a technique which effectively applied pressure to the point below my scrotum whilst at the same time stimulating my penis, so for example, i would masturbate whilst sitting astride a chair.

I have never been able to reach orgasm through conventional sex or by conventional masturbation and wonder why this might be. Any ideas would be welcome

Best regards
C

Dear C,

The space behind your testicles relates to indirect prostate stimulation which is the same thing as a woman's G spot which is analogous to your prostate gland. In women I suggest the stimulator include her clitoris or focus on it altogether as it's the primary seat of our pleasure. In a man, your primary place of pleasure is the "V" just underneath the head (or glans) of your penis. So over the years you have trained yourself to respond from very indirect penile glans stimulation.

To contact your prostate gland more directly, massage it with your (or a lover's) finger inside you anus. Or you can purchase the Eneros, a sex toy designed for prostate massage while you stimluate the head of your cock at the same time. . . .with some nice organic massage oi. You can Google for a lot more information on this male erogenous zone.

You still have plenty of time to retrain yourself by changing your masturbation pattern that will make it able for you to share your orgasms with a partner. I'm enclosing the link to the essay I send to women who need to alter their self-loving pattern so they can share orgasms with a partner.

Dr. Betty