Articles

Hi Betty:

I just found out about your website and I love it!!! Let me tell you about my life. I'm a 47 yr old woman married for 6 years now to a 35 yr old man, --we have no children. Since about 4 years ago I have been experiencing rupture of the skin (sorry, I ignore the name of the area) that's outside the vagina (between the vagina and the anus --even after using tons of lubricants. (Some women while giving birth have this area ripped because of the baby's size). And of course it's painful and I can't feel pleasure after the rupture, my obgyn has no answer for this nor my dermatologyst. Have you heard about this condition and if so, is there something I can do to avoid this horrible situation?

I will appreciate any help you can give me.
Sincerely,
P

Dear P,

I have not dealt with perennial tearing in my sex coaching practice. However, since you are 47 you might be heading into menopause which means our hormone levels drop. Perhaps some sort of estrogen cream applied to the area or even vaginally might help. Also observe what kind of sex positions you are using when the tears occur. With a younger husband, he must make sure not to do vigorous thrusting but lean toward a more gentle type of intercourse. I'd also recommend experimenting with different kinds of lubrication. In between intercourse or even before, warming yourself up with clitoral stimulation while using a dildo with plenty of lube would be a good idea

Given that you are prone to tearing why not consider other ways to enjoy sex like oral and manual. Perhaps anal sex would be one direction to experiment with unless the tissue there also tears. Until you find a solution, avoid rough sex with your young stud no matter how much either of you enjoy it. Let me know how you solve your problem so I can pass the information onto others.

Dr. Betty