I Fucking Love Feminism

Carlin Ross

Submitted on Fri, 11/08/2019 - 21:04

Betty and I go season by season, booking workshops only a few months in advance. We have a conversation - I ask her whether she wants to do one more round of groups *fingerscrossed* and hold my breath. When someone is 90 years old, you don't want to push them into work that requires them to be nude for two days with a group of total strangers. Without hesitation, Betty wanted to do three more groups, her exact words were "I'll do groups until the day I die".

There are moments in our partnership where we fall out of sync but when we're in the circle - leading Bodysex - everything falls into place. We're both at our best and even better together. It's a beautiful dance that we do without thought or discussion. I believe that this sort of open energy where you hold space for others is why Bodysex is transformative for both the participant and the leader. One of the women understood this immediately. She described how we opened the door but she had to walk through it herself. That is the power of Bodysex. We draw strength from each other but stand tall on our own.

We had women from the UK, Columbia, Australia, Berlin and both coasts. Almost half the circle wants to move forward with certification *heartskipsabeat* The work speaks to women from every walk of life, race, orientation and that is everything.

Genital show and tell as tense. One of the women was visibly shaking when she sat down next to Betty. Her body was releasing decades of trauma - we encouraged her to let her body shake and breathe. Other women described how they felt like genital show and tell was an out-of-body experience. Women are so shamed about their bodies and vulvas that they disassociate in any sort of sexual context. Women aren't present when they're nude; they not in their bodies. This sort of deep shame and disassociation from their sexual selves underlies the rape culture we all struggle to survive in as women. Genital show and tell is so profound because we break through trauma and experience sisterhood which puts us back in our bodies. I fucking love feminism.

For most groups, erotic recess is the celebration. We all shared orgasms and strawberries but group massage was where this group soared. Betty and I sat and watched as each woman received massage from several women at the same time. There was a sacred feeling in the room. It's a wonderful exercise in the power of non-sexual touch. Even after they were finished the women wanted to keep on massaging each other - this time in a circle all at the same time. A picture is worth a thousand words.