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Dear Dr. Betty,

I'm an 18 year old girl who likes girls. I am currently in a long-term relationship but have never orgasmed during intercourse. I feel pressure occasionally but never any pleasure. Touching my clitoris and penetration both just feel like pressure, no sensation at all. I have tried masturbation since I was in middle school or so (maybe a little sooner) with the same results, no sensation.

I have, however, found that the shower head can lead to very brief pleasure but it takes a very long time and only lasts a few seconds before it is gone again. I should also note that while I want to have sex, I'm never sure if I'm even turned on. I've tried many things with no luck. I've read through your articles and tried absolutely everything I could. I simply have no pleasurable sensation.

What can I do??

Dear K, Keep practicing pleasure without any expectations.

Since you had no childhood masturbation, you have never connected the sensations in your genitals to the pleasure center in your brain. This is a slow learning process like what a dancer must do to learn ballet or an artist must do to learn about drawing the nude. It will take a lifetime of practice to slowly begin to feel pleasure.

Meanwhile stop chasing it and simply observe what DOES feel good, like the shower. Little by little you will begin to feel a bit more....

Dr. Betty