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Hello.

I have a new partner with ED. We enjoy each other without intercourse and he is able to orgasm with manual stimulation. I thought about giving him oral sex, but would prefer to use a condom to protect myself. Everything I've read says not to try putting a condom on a flaccid penis but doesn't elaborate much on why.

I'm relatively certain that he won't get an erection but would probably enjoy it. However I am concerned about his feelings if I try to put on a condom and it doesn't work. Can you give any advice? Thank you.

Dear L,

I applaud your adult attitude of embracing a man who doesn't get erections. There are so many other delicious things couples can share besides fucking. All forms of affectionate touch are wonderful. It's difficult enough to put a condom on an erect penis but a flaccid penis? Forget it. While I don't want to discourage your commitment to safer sex practices, why don't you both get tested and do away with condoms.

Until then, you can lick and suck his soft-on and balls using Saran wrap. This barrier method is perfectly safe. I remember enjoying sucking a flaccid penis with one of my lovers after we'd just had intercourse. In some ways it was even more sexy and certainly easier than having a hard dick shoved down my throat. It's a very tender act when he's soft. You'll both enjoy it I'm sure.

Dr. Betty