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Hi Dr.Betty,

My name is C and I'm 18. I'm wondering how I can get off without the use of porn. I've tried fantasizing but that only gets me so far. After a while I give up. Ever since I started masturbating, I would always use porn to get me off. I'd feel the intense feeling along with the great aftershocks. I know, seems a little ridiculous...using porn nearly every time. But now I have a boyfriend. We have had sex and it was pleasurable but it'd be more pleasurable if I could still get that intense feeling when I masturbate and have an orgasm too.

In addition we have facetime sex and unfortunately I have faked an orgasm once before and it didn't feel too good. Obviously, I need to understand my pleasure button. I have something called Horny Honey but I've left it alone because I don't want to pull it out in front if him. Also, I don't want it to become dependent on it. Please help out. Should I try lube along with a hand mirror? What is there to try?

Thank you,
C

Dear C,

Unfortunately a large segment of our population is hooked on porn. It's a lazy way to get turned on and it numbs our creative process when we imagine our own fantasies and scenarios to get turned on.

To stop using porn, you must first make a commitment to do so. Try reading erotic material and supplying your own images. The best thing for you is to learn about your vulva and what kind of contact you prefer by practicing masturbation. I'm including links to get you started.

Dr. Betty