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Dear Betty,

I am sixteen and currently have a boyfriend who I love very much. The other night we had very hot sex with chocolate sauce. He was penetrating me deeper than he ever had before and I was thoroughly enjoying it. He had several orgasms and lasted longer than he ever had. Despite how great it was I find myself greatly craving oral sex, because nothing compares to the pleasure I feel as a tongue glides gently over my clitoris. Yet after I brought up oral sex to him, he told me, "I love you too much for that."

He seems to have some deep seeded misconception that oral sex is demeaning for women no matter my reassurance that it is one of the loveliest acts of love when consensual, although he has no qualms in jamming his fingers up my vagina until I cringe in pain and ask him to stop. I understand that he is just trying to be sensitive to my womanly needs, yet I want him to understand the wonders of cunnilinigus. Do you have any suggestions on how I could help him understand this and how to give wonderful oral stimulation?

Dear E,

First off, sugar inside your vagina is not a good idea. It's a perfect way to get a vaginal yeast irritation. As for that "Great Sex" you described, it sounds more like it was "great sex" for him but no orgasm for you. And he behaved like a cad and denied you oral sex which is how MOST women can have an orgasm? I don't care how deep and for how long a guy penetrates your vagina, it consistently leaves out your clitoris which is your primary sex organ for pleasure and orgasm.

The business he gave you about not wanting to do oral sex as it is demeaning to YOU is what we call a "snow job" or bull shit! The man has a problem. And then you tell me that "although he has no qualms in jamming his fingers up my vagina until I cringe in pain and ask him to stop. I understand that he is just trying to be sensitive to my womanly needs."

More BS. I suggest you don't buy into this and confront him. He obviously has a problem getting close to the female genitals for what ever reason. Please protect your self from this guy. He is taking advantage of your age and lack of self. I suggest you consider finding another boyfriend who likes eating pussy or invites you to do your own clitoral stimulation while he's slamming into your vagina. Seems to me that it's time for you to move along.

Dr. Betty