Articles

Dear Dr. Betty

Recently, I've broken out of my labeled lesbian title and taken upon just enjoying my youth with having sex with men and women that I am attracted to emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually. I've never felt so good a day of my life sexually until I liberated myself from my labels and started my partnership with my best mate.

A few weeks ago, we started having sex. At first, It was odd for me. He came onto me sexually. At first i rejected him, outwardly expressing my dislike of men and clinging very closely to my L-card that had protected me from men like him who are -gasp- seriously attracted to me. But then I warmed up to his affection and became enthralled with him in general. I felt safe and warm and while I may not love him like I would a woman, I still feel like what we have is special.

I took my time to have sex with him. We could have had sex our first encounter but i knew i was not ready and he never pressured me. Some reason, I wanted to wait. After talking to a good friend of mine and a previous partner of his, I found out that he is quiet the "big guy" down stairs. At first i thought my friends were over exaggerating, but when we were in between the sheets i found even their description to be an understatement. He too was so modest in his presentation, telling me he was not as big (even though he pulled out a few magnum condoms)

Betty, Thank you for all your advice, but I really need your pointers on this. How do i learn to take his size? It would be one thing if he was the size of my what i considered large vibrator, but he is a good 9 inches with girth. It's not so uncomfortable when he penetrates me, it is when he is going deep and when he wants to pull marathons that i find difficult to endure. And it feels like i have pressure down there when I am on top riding him. I find that lube helps out with friction and my staying power to endure for a while, but lube does not help with my "tightness" or the pressure i feel when he is deep. Is there any exercises i could do or something i could try. And how do i tell him to slow it down until i get used to it. When we are sexual, He listens to me and takes his time but sometimes his size is over whelming. Sex isn't painful, just different and overwhelming. I just want every time to be 10/10 for me.

Dear L,

Congratulations on getting past sexual labels. It sounds like you are doing great! Our latest You Tube is about how to communicate to a lover what we want. The best answer I have is to just speak up, open your mouth and let the words come out. Start with a compliment. It sounds like he's a gentle giant and will be happy for any feedback you can give him. Very often men with big dicks know to go slow. You just need to tell him that going deep can be too demanding for now. When you are on top, you can control the depth of penetration by lifting up when he wants to press into to you to go deeper.

The pressure you feel is most likely the head of his penis pushing into your cervix or the tip of your uterus. If you look at a cross section of our sex organ, the uterus actually lifts up when we are highly aroused which adds depth to the vaginal barrel. Since you are new to live penises, it's just a matter of time for you to make the adjustment. The vagina is also the birth canal and is capable of great expansion. Also using your pelvic floor muscle by squeezing and then releasing them helps to release your vaginal muscles. I hope you are adding some direct clitoral stimulation during fucking and please don't hesitate to add additional lube. Then just enjoy yourself.

Dr. Betty