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Hello,

First would like to say your website has opened my mind and made me feel very comfortable with sexual activites, also well informing me about alot of variable sexual aspects, which have been useful to me and my partner.

I need your help. I have had this issue for a month.. I lost my virginity to my loving boyfriend. We have only had sex once and for me it was really painful. Possibly more painful than expect because i have endometriosis. After it i realised i was bleeding abit, i figured it was normal, until i got home at the end of the day and notice there was still some blood. It was not alot of blood, but it did concern me cause ive never had sex before and didnt know what to expect after losing my virginity. My partner and i both did research prior to sex for my comfort and there was nothing mentioned for what i am about to tell you.

I checked my vagina in the mirror and opened the lips. At the bottom rim of my vaginal entrance there is a piece of skin that was swollen. And thats where the blood came from. To me it looks as if there is a little tear next to the swelling of the skin. Also it looks like there are a few scratchs on the inner lips close to the vaginal entrance. It was sensitive but then slowly reduced in sensitivity. My boyfriend advised me to keep my vagina clean, frequently washing it and putting an icepack, but not directly. I did this and it helped with the swelling but now its a piece of skin that is a bit long and it still looks like there is a tear. A month went past and we were both careful. He fingered me a few days ago and its irritated the skin and went swollen again.

What do you think it is?
Do i have a vaginal tear?
Should i see a doctor?

Please help me and advise me what i should do. I am really worried and i feel horrible having my boyfriend worrying about this too.

Dear A,

It's your vulva that's painful so don't worry about you boyfriend right now. I have no idea what you are describing. However, as a rule, mucous membrane heals rather quickly. So if this is still a problem at the end of the month, yes, I would advise you to see your Gynecologist and let her examine you. If it is a tear, she'll most likely give you some kind of ointment and tell you to abstain from sex until it heals.

First time penetration can be painful that's why I recommend a woman do it for herself first. After a good deal of clitoral stimulation and using plenty of organic massage oil, when a woman controls her own vaginal penetration, she knows what she's feeling better than her partner and can stop if it becomes painful without worrying about him. I doubt it's a tear unless he was very rough which is unlikely. Let me know what you discover after seeing your health care provider.

Dr. Betty