Articles

Hi Betty,

I have been having sex with a male partner for a month or so. I have some questions about safer sex practices. I have found that the best way for me to orgasm is when he rubs the tip of his penis around my vulva and slips it occasionally just inside my vagina while I stimulate my clitoris with a vibrator or my hand.

We are not exclusive, but neither of us are having sex with anyone else right now and both of us are sure we don't have any STIs. However, I am not on the pill and it is really hard for me to orgasm when he is wearing a condom. Even with a lot of lube the condom irritates my vulva and it just doesn't feel as good as when I can feel his skin. I am unsure what the risks of pregnancy are in this case.

I know that pre-cum can have some semen in it but he is not close to orgasm and only barely enters me. So I suppose these are the questions: 1) do you think this is particularly risky? and 2) if so what are some measures I could take to have safer sex?

Dear C,

Everyone will advise you to err on the side of caution. While I'm not concerned so much about STI's, I am concerned you might end up with an unwanted pregnancy. I know that's not the end of the world now that we have the abortion pill, BUT I would advise you to get a diaphragm. I loved mine and Carlin is now enjoying her transition to using one now that she is off the pill. Read some of her blogs about the experience.

It's true that pre-cum is fairly weak although a friend of mine did get pregnant with a similar technique. So off to a clinic before those mean old Republican men with their white hair and limp dicks get rid of them all. It's well worth it.

Dr. Betty