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This past weekend's Bodysex workshop was a lot of firsts.  We had our first woman seeking certification from the Czech Republic, our first student from Angola, our first MTF transsexual, and my first baby bump. 

I'll get back to the baby bump but what had me a bit on edge was our first MTF transsexual.  We'd had several emails asking about whether we admit transgendered women.  Our only reservation was how the other women in the circle would feel - if it would be a distraction - but we knew that we had to make this break through.  So I decided not to tell Betty or any of the other women.  I decided that the best way for us to take this journey would be to have no knowledge and no expectations.

What an amazing weekend.  When we went around the circle for the group share, our transsexual sister was the first to answer "how do I feel about my body" and "how do I feel about my orgasm".  What became clear is that there is no choice for transgendered people.  They spend their lives with their brains wired for another body and it gets to the point where they can't take it anymore.  Nothing makes sense until they receive their first dose of hormones - then everything feels right.  I found myself overwhelmed with compassion.  I learned more in those few minutes then in countless lectures and articles.  First person sharing is the best education. 

Gential show & tell is always the healing.  We sat and looked at each other's vulvas while we nibbled on strawberries and claimed our sex organs.  There was definitely excitement building because we were going to view a surgically constructed vulva.  All I can say is that there's no way to tell that she wasn't born with her vulva.  And the description of the surgery made total sense.  Every penis starts off as a clitoris so all the right tissue is there.  You can have orgasms and you can look like an average woman.  As I viewed at all the pussy portraits I took over the weekend, they were all natural and beautiful.  No one could be singled out.

I was much more relaxed on Day 2.  Betty was energized by the group and everyone felt happy and connected.  As we went into erotic recess, I could see this big smile on Betty's face.  And less than ten minutes into our session Betty had a huge orgasm...she rode that wave for a good hour before taking a break.  There's something so grounding and ecstatic about witnessing an octogenarian's orgasm.  To know that orgasms never end - that you can keep going - is reaffirming.  Betty doesn't always orgasm in the groups so I knew that this weekend was special.  I soaked up all her orgasm energy and looked down at my growing baby bump. 

I'm four and a half months pregnant and due the end of February.  It's thrilling and intimidating all at the same time.  If you follow my writing, I've alluded to ending a long-term relationship of 9 years.  It was hard...I felt horrible...but I knew that I would never be happy unless I put myself first.  Somehow life has a way of resetting your path and mine brought me to a man I've known for 13 years who's my perfect compliment.  In six short months we were married and expecting - it feels predestined.  We found out last week that we're having a boy.  I didn't realize how much I wanted to raise a son until I saw that ultrasound. 

This weekend I felt so fortunate...it was just waves of gratitude.  I kept holding my belly giddy with the idea of my son surrounded by so much female sexual power.  We'll do four workshops before I give birth and he'll soak up all that sex positive energy.  Supporting women through this healing journey as he grows inside me has to have some effect.  I want to be the mother he needs in this life and every workshop I get better. 

I feel so appreciative that Betty decided to hold workshops again - that we're moving forward with our foundation and received our 501(c)3 status - that we're going to create a global sex ed curriculum for mobile, social, web.  All my sacrifices have been rewarded and, in this moment, I feel complete.  

Thank you
Vava
Sam
Jasmine
Foxy
Vanessa
Her
Ruby