Bodysex is the Heart of Our Work

Carlin Ross

Submitted on Thu, 11/16/2017 - 19:17

Every season Betty and I talk about retiring the workshops so we can spend more time raising money for the foundation and planning an exhibition of Betty's art. Without fail, we come to the same realization: Bodysex is the healing and we need to train more women to be run groups.

Bodysex is the heart of our work.

We had women from across the United States, Iceland and Germany. It doesn't matter where we live, the color of our skin, or how we express ourselves sexually our experience as women is the same. It is the struggle that unifies us as sisters. We've all felt the same anger, the same disappointment, the same betrayal by our families and the culture. There hasn't been one woman who sat in the circle and shared that she felt seen, acknowledged, supported to pursue her dreams and love herself.

In these moments, I feel at peace because the injustice is right there. You can almost touch it. It wasn't my fault. No young girl asks to be limited, harassed, demeaned, raped or abused. I think that's why the #metoo campaign has been so successful - none of us have escaped unscathed. We all bear wounds and we're angry. Betty always says that women need to get in touch with their anger. We have....and things are changing.

One of the women shared that she was sitting in the circle for all the women in her family - present, past and future. I love that image - women healing past generations of womankind through ritualized selflove and pleasure. When a woman heals herself, she heals all the women in her circle. Bodysex ripples out, altering the trajectory of all our lives. I'm so proud to be doing this women with this amazing woman.

Day 2 was a celebration. Betty and I demonstrated the rock 'n roll orgasm technique and hit the ground running. Betty didn't realize how horny she was....she had the first orgasm and kept on going. I watched the women take breaks to watch Betty as she rode the waves of pleasure. The look on their faces - it was joy with a touch of amazement: how could this 88 year old woman have that many orgasms? This is Betty in her moment. This is her genius. If she's entitled to pleasure, then so are you. All we have to do as women is model sex positive behavior. The room was steamy...our bodies were sweaty...we wanted more.

Betty always wants to cut the pillow fuck especially when she's had a ton of orgasms. I knew this group would keep on going. We fluffed up our pillows and straddled our vibrators. It's interesting how simply changing positions kicks things up. The women loved it. I sat indian style holding the vibe with my toes as the head of the wand lightly touched my labia and clit. My orgasms inspired the others. I can't think of a moment when I feel more connected, when the sisterhood feels so strong than when I'm in the circle sharing orgasms with other women. It is profound.