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Hello Betty,

I am 57, and in the past 2 years was diagnosed with (not severe) rear pelvic wall collapse, and the beginnings of a prolapsed uterus. This discovery was made when I began to have pain during intercourse and problems with constant urinary pressure. At present I am using a vaginal estrogen cream, which has helped significantly with the pressure on my urethra, but I still have pain during intercourse. But my real concern is with my orgasms.

I do not have a regular sex partner and my orgasms are usually alone with the Magic Wand. The orgasms are quite intense and uterine contractions are powerful. The problem is that because of my prolapsed uterus, the orgasms are now also painful. This is extremely distressing to me. I am not seeking a partner, and am quite happy and satisfied to keep pleasuring myself. However, to imagine my life without orgasm (if my condition continues to deteriorate) is almost an unbearable thought.

I've searched the internet to try to find further information---but all I have read is rather grim and hopeless sounding. Can you recommend anything that might help or know of any medical or other help for this common problem of aging women? I still regularly do my Kegel exercises, and have one of your barbells. But obviously hormone issues are also paramount. I want to have orgasms until I exit this planet and want them joyfully and without pain. I would so appreciate your response,

Kindly, O

Dear O,

I support you desire to have orgasms until you exit the planet. That makes two of us! Since I'm not a medical doctor, I checked in with a nurse practitioner friend to get her opinion. Her response was similar to mine; this problem was not an area of her experience or knowledge. However, she thought that a beginning or mild uterine prolapse would be relatively pain free. She felt it curious that you had pain with orgasm and suggested you make sure your health care provider is aware of this. There might be another factor causing pain during orgasm, although I can't imagine what. Are you using any kind of penetration when you masturbate, or just the Wand on your clitoris?

She went on to say that some problems due to pelvic wall collapse can be improved by the use of a pessary. It's basically a firm ring-shaped device that is inserted high up inside the vagina and left in place. You can Google "pessary" and see there are lots of different shapes and sizes depending upon your problem. A friend of mine who is much older than you had her uterus beginning to bulge out of her vagina. However, she was in her late sixties and had given birth to five children. She ended up having surgery to correct the problem. Don't give up. Both of us would like to know what you discover so please get back to me.

Betty