Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Christopher Ryan's piece below on hooking up begs the question, "why can't we have sex without intimacy"? Oh please! The word "intimacy" is so over used by therapists, authors and the society at large with no real under standing of what the word means. What is wrong with a sexual friendship? It sure as hell beats a committed monogamous marriage where the couple struggles to get it up for sex until they finally give up altogether. I'm so tired of all the cheap moralizing from people who's own sex lives are lived in shades of gray.

I played the commitment game until after I got divorced from a fairly sexless marriage. From the age of 36 on I indulged in delightful casual sex of America's Sexual Revolution. Today I look back on that period with love in my heart and gratitude for all the wonderful folks who shared sex with me. Those days were filled with some of the finest moments of intimacy I've every experienced.  Thank you Steve Otero for the link:

NPR (National Public Radio) recently joined the ever-growing list of media outlets and authors expressing confusion and poorly-veiled condemnation of what they call the "culture of hooking up" a.k.a. "sex without intimacy." According to these no-doubt middle-aged sources, intimacy-free sex is sweeping the nation.

My brother's getting married today (I'll be twitpic'ing it all) so posts will be limited. Here's some good news from the web:

In what's being called "India's Stonewall", the New Delhi High Court on Thursday decriminalized homosexual intercourse between consenting adults, by striking down section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

An HIV/AIDS vaccine developed in Canada has passed safety tests in animals and the researchers are awaiting approval to begin human trials in the U.S. *fingers crossed*

Finally, a women's history magazine. HerStoria is a webzine covering the female sex from across the centuries, and investigating the ways in which women responded and lived their lives.  I'm going to submit Betty ;)

I've now gotten several requests to respond to the Sanford affair. My friend Richard send copies of the emails between Sanford and Maria as proof this was more than sex. That it was the real thing with real feelings of love for one another. He's a hopeless romantic, and while I am too, I fight it.

I'm a tough ole army mule when it comes to discussing "true love" which I think is based upon "true lust" and I see nothing wrong with that. Why do we have to denigrate the desire to have sex to uphold the myth that a monogamous marriage is more than a business arrangement sanctioned by society and granted special privileges by our government? We hear about politicians when this happens, but as a sexologist with a private practice, I know a large portion of our population is unable to sustain sexual fidelity as Amanda Marcotte explained in her piece For Many, Marriage is Sexless, Boring and Oppressive. People mostly rely on "don't ask, don't tell" which doesn't really work in the end because it requires the omission of truth which is kind of a sneaky lie.

Sure, the Times piece on the sanctity of marriage spews positive PR to uphold the institution because that keeps most of us in line so we can continue to be good consumers. The big corps demand that from us. My question is: When are we going to redefine marriage so that it becomes more sexually realistic and practical? I'm thinking about making an effort to do just that. When I can find time.

My friend Maggie Tapert in Switzerland who teaches women about orgasm and sexual pleasure very similar to how I've been doing has gone to jail. She was collecting women's old bras in Zurich's banking square and in spite of being told to stop she was determined to keep her word and finish the week. It's such a wonderful example of the heavy hand of the law when it comes to women's sexuality. I'm rooting for you Maggie. Read on:

What started as an amusing and playful effort to raise public interest in my passionate obsession - the female orgasm - has ended with an unexpected challenge. Within the next few weeks, I will serve my first jail term. Who would have thought that the Swiss justice system would feel the need to punish me so severely for the supposed "crime" of collecting used bras on the central square.

And let me tell you, this is turning out to be a fabulous opportunity to experience the transformational power of total feminine surrender!

 Hi Eric,

I have an odd question. I had a pretty nice experience last night. Amrita flooding! I wondered if you knew if female ejaculate can also take on the scent of asparagus a bit like urine does (after a woman eats it of course)?

I am not sure if I had a little accident when I was cumming or not.

=)

Phoebe

The death of macho would also include the death of ultra femme. Personally I'm willing to let them both die a natural death simply from boredom of traditional gender roles. Eric says that macho will always win in the bedroom. Carlin says she likes a man who can volley with her. Me? I appreciate a man who is willing to take turns when it comes to running the fuck. Lately, I prefer just me where I can play all the roles but then I'm a postmenopausal gal who's seen it all.

The era of male dominance is coming to an end.  Seriously.  For years, the world has been witnessing a quiet but monumental shift of power from men to women. Today, the Great Recession has turned what was an evolutionary shift into a revolutionary one. The consequence will be not only a mortal blow to the macho men's club called finance capitalism that got the world into the current economic catastrophe; it will be a collective crisis for millions and millions of working men around the globe.