A Woman's Erection Needs 20-30 Minutes of Adequate Clitoral Stimulation

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 06:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I fully understand that teaching is repetition. So again I repeat: the clitoral body is the primary source of orgasm whether it's stimulated externally, internally, or both at the same time. I prefer both. Once a woman understands she can have both clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration, it ends this discussion.

There is no distinction between "vaginal" or "clitoral" or "G spot" orgasms since all orgasms are centered in the clitoris. It doesn't matter if it's direct clitoral contact or indirect G spot stimulation. Or even the more illusive deep vaginal thrusting that stimulates the base of the spine, now called the "deep spot." That orgasm requires an 8 inch penis or a quality silicone dildo. All you guys with average 5 to 6 inch penises erect are SOL on that one.

Back in the seventies, Master and Johnson's research demonstrated that all orgasms were the result of some form of direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Kinsey agreed before them as did many ancient cultures. Unfortunately many Americans remain influenced by Freud's ridiculous theory that vaginal orgasms are superior, an idea that took hold during the Victorian age of extreme sexual repression. It's kept alive today by organized religions and what some men prefer: a quick fuck similar to masturbating inside a vagina.

The "G spot" orgasm is also indirect clitoral stimulation. We know the urethral sponge that surrounds the urinary tract fills up with blood and becomes erect after being stimulated with pressure applied to the ceiling of the vagina. Or in some cases, the use of a strong vibrator on or near the clitoris also can result in ejaculation. Most women agree that "squirting" is not the same as having an orgasm, although I'm told it feels very nice especially if it accompanies orgasm.

At first, young and old women were asking me how they could learn to ejaculate. Recently, I've been asked how can I stop gushing during sex with my partner. After searching thousands of website that describe how to female ejaculate, no where could I find information on how to stop female ejaculation. Instead I was advised to get protective mattress covers and more towels are recommended. No where could I find information on stopping this response for those who find the clean up afterwards a drag.

"A vaginal orgasm" is also indirect clitoral stimulation considering the internal structures of the clitoris. The erectile tissue of the legs and bulbs fill up with blood and become erect during vaginal thrusting with an erect penis/dildo/fingers for up to thirty minutes or more. Also to consider is indirect clitoral stimulation when couples bodies press together. Many women discover that getting on top allows her to press her clitoris into her lovers body.

Following all this complicated physical information, we have to include the mental and emotional state of being "in love." Romantic Love has been described by some feminists and philosophers as "temporary insanity." Unfortunately, it's the most popular sexual fantasy for the largest number of girls and women all over the world: "Some day my Prince Charming will come."

What's left out of this conversation is the following information: A woman's erection takes twenty to thirty minutes of adequate clitoral stimulation for her entire vulva to become engorged. The operating word here is "adequate" and will vary from woman to woman.

The point being that few women are even turned on before they get fucked. Most are getting a few minutes of clumsy clit stim, a few licks from a dry tongue or harsh finger banging. The moment there's a small amount of lubrication, many lovers dive into the vagina going for a home run. No wonder sex therapists emphasize foreplay and no wonder faked orgasms far out number real ones. When we discover how few women are having orgasms during intercourse it's obvious to me that fucking is really foreplay for masturbation.

Unfortunately, intercourse rarely if ever lasts long enough to engage the internal clitoris. We forget that for every pre-orgasmic woman there's a premature ejaculating man. This is one of the primary reasons why men don't want to know what women want because it would require them to make an effort to learn "come control" which sounds like another job and he's already overworked.

The other tragedy is that most women don't understand their sexual bodies either due to the absence of childhood masturbation. This is a time when girls and boys get to discover their orgasmic patterns. Even today, women's sex information and education is based on the male model of sexual response: A penis ejaculating inside a vagina. This is also the heterocentric, procreative model that's supported by organized religions, governments and even Mother Nature who wants to further the species. Some days it seems that women can't win for losing.

We now have the horrendous job of sexually educating a world that's under the influence of violence with militant religions and corporations intent on dominating the world. Still, some of us continue to hope that "Mankind" will give peace a chance. Otherwise women will have to take over before we can embrace the Pleasure Principal with Equal Rights and Orgasms for all.

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Tell it like it is!

Fri, 11/13/2015 - 16:11
Jorge (not verified)

hahaha that's right Betty! I think it's great to tell it like it is! I'm aware that your info is accurate and been saying it for years .. if men can't sustain an erection and stimulate the vagina with penis and clitoris for at least 15 to 30 minutes, a man will never see a woman reach the heights of her sexual self! Squirting is just the beginning! 

Those videos are for boys!

Fri, 11/13/2015 - 16:15
Jorge (not verified)

Those videos are designed for college boy losers who are willing to pay for magic pills that do not exist. It does not reflect on the understanding of real men! Unfortunately there are too many of thsese boys running around acting like boys and giving real men a bad name.

I've experienced similar

Sat, 11/14/2015 - 04:58
Grace (not verified)

I've experienced similar things with my partner. It's entirely possible :)

It used to be difficult to cum, this worked for me.

Sat, 11/14/2015 - 20:35
Anonymous11111 (not verified)

It used to be really difficult for me too...

Do you masterbate often? Because once you know where your most erogenous zones are down there, then you can tell your partner and map it out for him so that he does it the way that you like and that works for your body. It's really nothing to be shy about either. It definitely enhances both your experiences because you're enjoying yourself more and he gets the satisfaction of knowing he's pleasing you well.

Try making him cup his hand with his palm mostly towards your pelvis/stomach area when he fingers you. If he does oral sex on you, make him extensively familiar with the clitoris and to not be shy to suck on it, moan (creates a pleasant vibrating sensation) and swirl his tongue around. He could even try oral and fingers at the same time. During sex, I like either being on top and sliding back and forth to stimulate the clitoris and G spot at the same time, or even better, being on the bottom and thrust your pelvis upward towards him while slowly rocking yourself and pushing on his buttocks with your hand so that he also thrusts. That way, I sometimes come in 5-10 minutes. I always tell him what I like and I ask him to see if it could improve but because of our openness and communication, we really satisfy each other.

It is easy to attack the

Sun, 11/15/2015 - 08:37
Eric Vogel (not verified)

It is easy to attack the absurdity of the fragile male ego, what takes more time, effort, comparssion, and other traits an educator should have is addressing the legitimate criticisims leveld at this article on your generalizing and negative tone towards men.
I am of the opinion tat this information could have been more effectively presented without the immature jabs. You were, after all, trying to inform people of an anatomical process they may not be aware of and not addressing somthing of outrage like say the geder wage gap, where well placed jabs would be entirely appropriate.
As a man it is difficult to criticize a legend of your status since the sword of "wimp, sensitive, mansplaining, & #notallmen" always seems to hang by such a thin, illogical thread. No matter how intelligent, respectful, or understanding we make our points, we will always risk the immediate dismissal of our opinions based solely on our gender. 

Sigh...

Sun, 11/15/2015 - 12:55
Bog Frog (not verified)

Another rambling Blame it on the Man article....
Signed,  a Man whose primary focus in love making is her and her pleasure.

Wow so many things NOT on here.

Sun, 11/15/2015 - 21:54
Brianna (not verified)

For the record it is quite possible to have an orgasm without stimulation any where near the Clitoris. Say from a back or a foot rub if it is done properly. People who are paralized can still orgasm if they have any area of feeling at all anywhere on their bodies. There is no only way and there is not right way..
Neither does it take an enormous penis to trigger an orgasm during intercourse. Most of what happens is in a persons head not their body. 
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to be willing to experiment with a kind a willing partner and find out what you both enjoy doing. Or having done to you. Yes it is important to have some knowlege of what the parts are an how they work but that is only part of it.
It bothers me a lot to see you disregauding men who have smaller organs. After all they are not playing in a cathedral.
I have taught MYSELF to enjoy all kinds of stimulation and to orgasm easily. It takes time and work...but it is really not all that difficult. Unless you are one of the few women who CAN'T orgasm no matter what.
I feel like this article does more in being discouraging to women and to men than educating anyone to stimulate or achive orgasm.
If you are with a partner who disreguards your pleasure...kick them to the curb and find one that you can have fun with. Life is short.

LOVE YOUR RESPONSES

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 03:26
AnonymousSanaa (not verified)


"While we are all quite unique, but it's
been my experience that one of biggest problems women have in achieving orgasm
is they don't spend enough time getting "turned on." We often compare
ourselves to male arousal which can happen more quickly. Remember the penis is
a less complex organ than a vulva which can also birth a baby. And if a woman
has never been orgasmic, the flow of blood to her erectile tissues might take a
bit longer. The clitoris Darling, is just the tip of the iceberg as they
say."

Thank you Betty...so clear of an
articulation, so matchlessly worded; and I agree, men who think you're a
male-bashing fem-bot are nothing more than mere mitches.

You aren't alone

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:45
Anonimuz (not verified)

I'm totally the same way. I have to make up a dirty story in my head or I can not orgasm. And let me tell you, there is no "Prince Charming" involved. Don't feel bad abou it. It would be nice to b able tocommunicate it to your partner. Who knows? Maybe you can role play. Not that I take my own advice.

Intriguing... what is a wand?

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 04:45
Jojob (not verified)

Intriguing... what is a wand? I have never heard of this tool b4.

Wand Vibrator

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 10:27

Hi,
I believe that Betty's describing her favourite vibrator which is also the one used at the BodySex sessions.

I can't quite believe how much response this post from 2014 still generates. I just don't see her comments as particularly contentious or even surprising:

Most women don't orgasm from PIV sex, some will ofcourse, but most don't.

For most women, the most reliable way to orgasm is all about the clitoris some not but still a majority.

Men can take comfort from the fact that their dick size really is irrelevant to most of their female partners. Being a good lover is more about learned technique and empathy with your partner.

What could possibly be upsetting about any of that? Maybe I've misunderstood some of the recent posts.

Is she orgasming or not?

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 17:48
Anonymous132455 (not verified)

Hello,

I am confused.. my wife seems to have (often) orgasms when I use my finger or tongue in far less than 1/2 hour. Let's just assume for a minute she's not faking it.. are you saying the 1/2 hour time for arousal is like a more powerful orgasm? Or that a couple of orgasms on the way to the 1/2 hour leads to a deeper, more powerful orgasm? We can't have her be aroused for 1/2 hour if she comes in 10 minutes? Or is it a matter of going slower and buidling for 1/2 hour? 

Or, maybe she comes easier than many women that would need 1/2 hour?  

Pardon My Sarong....BUT...

Wed, 11/18/2015 - 09:08

 
Why are you not asking your WIFE these questions???? Who would know how her own body reacts or responds than she????
 
:)

RE: Popular male fantasy

Wed, 11/18/2015 - 09:42
Elijah (not verified)

I think of the main one is the idea that "he can make her come", I take that from the movie Black & White & Sex by John Winter.  Or that porn and #realworldsex are the same.  Come the content of MakeLoveNotPorn.tv and PornHub.com to get my gist.

So personal

Wed, 11/18/2015 - 12:35

Anon132455
Like ORS I'd have to say that your wife is the only person who can answer your questions. Betty's post is talking all about the average, the typical response and most reliable method and there will always be outliers.

For myself, I would have to say that slower build up to orgasm makes for a bigger orgasm. Most of my (male) partners have said the same for their experience. There have been a couple of posts about the benefits on the site about edging ie. almost reaching orgasm and pausing, trying to stay on the edge of orgasm until you just can't stop yourself.

From my experience these are "bigger" or more intense orgasms but are more difficult to manage within partnersex - basically she knows her own responses best.

A lot at stake for partners in starting a discussion on faking.

Thu, 11/19/2015 - 03:24
Lizzie Smith (not verified)

Dear Anonymous132455,
you express some concern about the authenticity of your wife's orgasms, which is a masculine trait deserving respect and approval.
I agree with co-commentators who recommend a discussion with your wife on the matter. The fact that you have not done it or you have tried, but not succeeded is not unusual. 
It is not uncommon for life partners to avoid particularly this sensitive topic.
There is a lot at stake under the surface: Vulnerability. Fear of losing the partner. Apprehension and shame in case one has by any chance been less than truthful for too long albeit because of the best of reasons.
From the basis of not knowing any more details than your, Anonymous, letter, the fact that you have not yet got clarity on the issue by discussing with wife, may be a sign of a partnered-sex pattern with disadvantageous secrets.
Let us assume every woman may pretend to orgasm in partnered sex sometimes. It is quite normal, and it has been talked about here in D&R earlier on different occasions. 
It is quite an other matter, though, if faking becomes a changeless pattern in sex together. And even more unfortunately so, if the woman is pre-orgasmic, not yet having learned how to routinely self-orgasm by herself.
What often happens in long term relationships is that a pre-orgasmic wife tries to speed up the sessions as she wants to get it over with in short order.
She wants to adopt the quickest possible time-frame, and her orientation in estimating a credible tempo for the proceedings does not always match with reality since the woman does not know how the reality looks like. 
The husband is none the wiser, and needs to ask about the reality of a female orgasm from Dr. Betty.
This phenomenon has a lot to do with the belief, that a female orgasm is a rarity in real life couple relationships even though the majority of available sources (text-books, entertainment and porn) would like us to take on the opposite view.
If a woman does not know her sexual response (masturbation to orgasm), or, if she has not read the latest scientific truth on the matter written uppermost in this article, she does not know how long it usually takes for an average woman to orgasm.
Nor does she understand about edging or other variation in the process.
A woman who consistently fakes may adopt a time-frame that she finds her husband is comfortable with. 
We are well aware an average man prefers a significantly quicker tempo than a woman in arousal and play towards his end-pleasure.
Many men protest this saying there is no end how long time they want to give their woman. Words and daily practice are two different things though.
Many men admit that they do not like it if sex loses its spontaneity and becomes hard work, which is only understandable. 
For a man 10 minutes may very well be enough of foreplay on a normal evening.
A minimum of half an hour, usually more, of uninterrupted stimulation of the woman may be too much for him, on a regular basis. Additionally, as it happens, orgasming may take even longer for a woman because of the pleasantly distracting presence of the partner. 
Every long term sex partner, be it woman or man, wants to please the spouse, naturally.
The enemy in the commonplace fake-pattern scenario is, for sure, none of the partners.
It is ignorance combined with persistent hearsay and incorrect information perpetuated ad nauseum from most of the sources. 

fake solutions

Thu, 11/19/2015 - 13:29

Lizzie,
I enjoyed your post very much. It leads to the question of how we might change a situation where we suspect that our partner is faking orgasms.

I've used the word "might" because at some level I believe that it's very much up to the individual to take responsibility for thier own orgasm. Maybe they don't want to share. Perhaps the most our partners can do is be open and encouraging and start the conversation.

We can start talking about different ways towards orgasm and what we might think about changing in our partnersex. Even if our partner denies faking, the conversation can stay open around improving orgasms for both partners, building bigger, slower orgasms for each or just mixing it up for the sake of variety and trying new things.

Even if mutual masturbation is difficult to share at first, it seems to be the most reliable way to build towards joint, satisfying partnersex. Maybe encouraging solo masturbation by buying some toys for birthdays and allowing space and time is a way to go.

I'd be really interested in hearing from anyone who has worked through this in a relationship.

The basis of false beliefs & knowledge has to be targeted.

Sat, 11/21/2015 - 05:01
Lizzie Smith (not verified)

NLH,
thank you. It's challenging to try to think of ways out of the shared 'kettle of fish' you are describing.
How to  find ways to bring light where brainwashing has been so succesful that casualties don't even recognize they suffer from lack of enlightenment on a particular area of their lives?
Or, the sufferers have hunches they could benefit from some kind of new knowledge.
But they suspect the difficulties to be unsurmountable and thus see no other alternative than to just tolerate things in their everyday existence as they are.
Mainstream sex education and culture saturate growing generations with false beliefs and knowledge about male and, specially, female sexual response. 
If this basis is not targeted and renewed the outcome visible in people's lives will hardly be different.  
It's been often mentioned on the website how young people are allowed to start their long term serious relationships underinformed, doomed to come to grief.
We send our young adults to guaranteed failure like the pirates did to their enemies. Walking the plank to the sea.
It is a wonder that even some percentage of couples stay together after the first seven years and find a way to come to terms with their life together. A compromise is many times brittle as it often is based on disproportionate sacrifices of one of the two spouses.
This is a shocking societal tradition accepted and sealed by silence and individually induced,  artificial shame that both men and women suffer from.
Young and old couples struggle but do not have efficient ways to get correct information. The partners may accuse themselves and each other not knowing what might help them.
They separate hoping a new relationship will solve the problems. And, for a short while the newness of the relationship does help in keeping up hope. 
Many middle aged women resort to self-chosen solitude, as the views in finding a level-headed sober male partner around their own age are gloomingly dim.
Some women find their homosexual side later in life and get a new start.  

Correct information helps, I think. This cannot be overemphasized.
Continuing personal success stories from Dr. Betty's and Carlin's bodysex groups spreading around the world is great news.
Individuals first change their own sexual relationship with themselves.
Then, beneficial improvements start taking place in relationships with others.
The truth and honesty are powerful concepts.
The powers that be have known this from the time world began.
Consequently, the truth is many times found where an idea is marginalized, persecuted, perverted and ridiculed.
L.S.

Hi Alyssa As a man (other men

Martin_y's picture
Thu, 01/21/2016 - 07:03

Hi Alyssa
As a man (other men may be different, but I doubt it !), I can tell you your man will likely love to know your dirty mind ! 
It is not bad or a sickness !!   Enjoy !

Yes, Yes, Yes

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 12:11

I agree with everything Betty said, but I'm not sure about the timeframe - maybe you have to have NPD to be much quicker, in retrospect I just don't know. What I do know is my ex-partner could get excited and orgasm (with help from her hand) watching me masturbate, and it wasn't anything like 30 minutes for either of us.

The Brain Is the Primary Sexual Organ

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 12:09

As I have already said, I agree with everything positive that Betty and others said here, but I query the time frame of 20 - 30 minutes. I would have said 5 to 20 minutes. Elsewhere I wrote "the brain is the primary sexual organ" and I stand by that comment, quite a lot has been said about the need for a woman to be warm and comfortable in order to orgasm, the importance of relaxing massages like foot rubbing and so on, but this is not always the case. Having been the partner of a woman diagnosed with severe NPD - narcissism - who was multi-orgasmic, and who could orgasm very quickly, multiple times, led me to question how this came about and my current  partner, who is a qualified psycologist, said that in her experience people with narcissistic tendencies were sometimes very sexual, and she said she had wondered if perhaps there was a link between narcissism and sexuality.

This led me to wonder. In my experience, successful politicians have the ability to 'compartlise' the issues they face daily, to decide what to do about them, and then 'move on' and focus on the next issue. My ex-partner said to me that a woman could orgasm any time, anywhere, if she felt like it so long as she put aside the other circumstances (such as being in a cold car in a cold car park). I think this ability to 'compartmentalise' is necessary for a politician and may explain why women politicians have a reputation of being 'good at sex'. I wonder if a degree of narcissism is involved here - not NPD, which is a serious disorder.

Just a thought.

David

Reich

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 14:36

Wilhelm Reich was a very senior Austrian psychologist, among other things he coined the phrase 'the sexual revolution'.  He also wrote many papers and books. When I was a very young man I read a book of his which was titled 'The Function of the Orgasm' - there was a Czech film also (unfortunately titled 'The Function of the Organism' - they obviously thought they couldn't use the word orgasm at that time!). The book changed my life. He was so right, and I read quite a lot further. I can't espouse his later ideas regarding 'Orgone Therapy' but I think his work on 'Character Analysis' was incredibly insightful and informative.

I believe every young man should be given a copy of 'The Function of The Orgasm'. Look up Wilhelm Reich on wiki, there's a long artical about this very important man.

David

Fake Orgasms?

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 14:29

In response to an email I have just seen, which suggests my ex-partner might have faked orgasms, no, one does not fake semi-consciousness, one does not fake violent vaginal contractions, one does not fake orgasms for up to two hours. Absolutely not. I'm not sure about much, and I get more unsure about many 'truths' as time goes by, but I am sure she didn't fake. If one was like her, narcissistic - she had diagnosed NPD - and you have to be 'the best' in everything you do, feminism, anti-DV, politics (she stood for parliament), failings of the legal system, and much more - then you would probably need to be 'the best' at sex as well, and she was! When I described her (to my curent partner, who is a qualified psychologist) as 'the best fuck in the Southern Hemisphere' I wasn't exaggerating. My partner just said 'probably, but I don't think it's normal, we know she had a personality disorder'.

Of course I have replied to the email and said the same. The only reason for posting it here is that I am very interested to know if there's any link between NPD and sexuality. I discussed this yesterday with my counselor, and he said he had encountered narcissism in his previous work in the prison system and he had observed that narcissists were often highly manipulative, they will spot a person's weakness and exploit it. In my case it was sex and my ex certainly exploited it, it's why I endured emotional violence for over three years. A female friend at the time said I was obviously captivated, and I said "no, obsessed". As a result I had a serious breakdown, but I am largely over that, getting back to 'normality' with my current partner is so nice!

If anyone has any doubts about the authenticity of what I am saying they can email me at davryndjv823@gmail.com and I'll supply the name and contact details of my psychiatrist and my counselor, I just don't think I should release them too publically.

David

Wow Betty

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 16:40

I just downloaded  and started reading your excellent book Romantic Love Wars, after I had already posted a Reich comment! Then I got to chapter 2, and I read that you came to admire him. So he influenced you too. He was a ground-breaking pioneer, an element of sanity in an uptight world. I think I was lucky to encounter his works before I got uptight too. I credit him with having totally changed my thinking and with the interesting (to me anyway) life I have had. No offence to Carlin but now when I see D&R I'm going to think 'Dodson and Reich'! Er war so wunderbar.

David

Thanks David.

Betty Dodson's picture
Fri, 01/22/2016 - 17:05

Reich was a big influence in my life. I consider him to be my mentor on many levels. I also vowed to avoid becoming a martyr so I stayed just below the radar. Until the Internet and old age. At 86 I'd love to get aressted. Fat chance.

I don't know, Betty

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 22:28

This site and your work are subversive. They challenge the 'norms'.  I hope if they come for you it's just an arrest, not what the bastards did to a Russian ex-spy in the UK - they murdered him, it's now official.

See http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/21/alexander-litvinenko-was-pr...  

My partner does work for the parole board from time to time, interviewing prisoners to determine if they can be released on parole. A couple of years ago she and other members of the board recommended that a convicted rapist 'not be released as he is likely to re-offend'. He wasn't given parole and he subsequently sent a letter saying 'when I get out I'm going to kill you all, especially that oh-so-nice woman I talked to - I'll rape her first, then kill the bitch'. He's now serving another term of 8 years on top of his original 12 years for threating to kill.

I told my partner she was paranoid (she's away much of the time, and insists when we can't get together we correspond via Wickr, which is relatively secure), she said "yes I am, you catch it from your patients" then she told me about the rapists threats. It's the first time I heard paranoia was an infectious disease but I see why she is paranoid, and now we use wickr, but even there she doesn't say where she is, where she's going, or when. She asked me yesterday what I was doing on Saturday and I said I didn't have many plans other than getting the weekend paper. She said "when?" and I said "ä little after 9am" (this is shorthand for 'I'll probably see you there'. Also, Eastern Oz is 11 hours ahead of GMT so when it's only just Saturday in the old country, it's past midday here - it's an incredible country, there's a 3 hour difference between east and west!). So I wasn't very surprised when she was in the carpark at the supermarket, she's down from the country, where she has taken leave to look after her mother, who is severely off the planet mentally.

This site is quite frankly subversive - it absolutely and rightly refutes the established 'norm' and empowers people, especially women. I just hope that the bastards who killed a dissident don't cast their net further. But in the meantime I know you will not stop preaching the message and neither will I.

I Love your book, I wish I could write that well, but I have a story to tell, so I'll do my best. Right after I post this I will go back to 'Romantic Love Wars' I'm enjoying it so much

David

Romantic Love Wars

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 20:33

If you keep trying, Betty, you might just get arrested, I hope there's never anything more. But re Reich, I am thinking that I want to start a foundation to provide a free copy of 'The Funtion of The Orgasm' to every young person on their 18th birthday, either as an ebook, or in hard copy. I'd appreciate any comments you have.

Yeah!, I found my copy

Fri, 01/22/2016 - 22:39

But more  importantly, I searched the web and found 'The Function of the Orgasm' is there. There's a bad but quite readable scan at:

https://eduardolbm.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/the-function-of-the-orgas...,

But I am looking further. I think this is very important, so please bear with me. (I'm not sure whether it should be 'bear' or 'bare', personally I like the latter, it has good connotions - look up Maslins Beach SA if you doubt me, I am in one of the camera shots). I want to get Reich's message out there, and perhaps some recipients might look further into Character Analysis. I really hope so.

Men

Sat, 06/04/2016 - 17:00
Tommy U (not verified)

I'd like to point out that a lot of men (maybe most) do not selfishly regard sex as merely jacking off into their wife's or girlfriend's vaginas. I want to do anything and everything I possbily can, and take as much time as it takes, to make my wife's enjoyment of sex optimal. Providing sexual pleasure for her is more enjoyable to me than my own ejaculation. Making her feel good and feel loved is my number one goal, and I love doing it for her. Of course I want my own orgasm too, but I can only fully enjoy it if we're sharing the whole lovemaking experience equally and I know she's getting at least as much out of it as I am.  

Faking

Sat, 06/04/2016 - 17:22
Tommy U (not verified)

There are a lot of comments about faking orgasms. My wife would never attempt to fool me, but even if she wanted to, it would not be possible because of an involuntary physiological response she always experiences. Her nipples remain soft and barely protrubrant throughout sex, but then at the exact instant she begins to come they grow very hard and fully erect, spontaneously, without being touched. There are no other circumstances I have ever observed, in thirty-six years, during which her nipples ever become so engorged and rigid--only orgasms. This phenomenon is synchonous with flushing, hyperventilation, rapid heart rate, and vaginal contractions, and happens every orgasm, without exception. There's no way she could voluntarily will her nipples to grow extremely erect with just mind power. It's an infallible indication that an orgasm is actually occurring. Among other women I knew sexually before I was married, I never observed this reflex. All women are different and will experience different reactions; however, there are undouptedly other women who share this characteristic with my wife.  

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