vulvodynia https://www.dodsonandross.com/ en Menopause & Hormone Replacement: One Sexologist’s Personal Experience https://www.dodsonandross.com/menopause <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Menopause &amp; Hormone Replacement: One Sexologist’s Personal Experience</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2011-02-13T20:07:14+00:00" title="Sunday, February 13, 2011 - 20:07" class="datetime">Sun, 02/13/2011 - 20:07</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2022-04/badodson_090_12mp_12mp.jpg.webp?itok=q5KBX5aL" width="640" height="358" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>To my knowledge, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for a woman to remain vaginally active long past menopause without some kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It's unfortunate, but each of us must find our own path through trial and error. First off, menopause varies greatly. What many don't know is that more than half of all women in the USA have little to no uncomfortable symptoms. After all, it's a natural transition we all experience. Others suffer with hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, memory loss, etc., symptoms that will eventually pass. However, medical professionals along with our overzealous pharmaceutical companies have turned menopause into a deficiency that needs to be treated. Early ads for hormone replacement actually promised women a fountain of ever-lasting youth. Buyer beware!</p> <p>Right after my fiftieth birthday, I began to notice a new kind of body sensation. While going about my work, I'd feel a welling of heat in my pelvic area that would slowly travel up my body ending with light dew on my upper lip. Several times a day, I'd stop what ever I was doing, take a few deep breathes and relax into what I called, "my mini heat orgasms." The internal warmth felt similar to a sexual build-up, followed by the relaxation after an orgasm. I looked forward to these sweet moments that I attributed to the grass I'd scored from Hawaii.</p> <p>One afternoon I was describing a heat orgasm to my neighbor Priscilla when she began laughing. I was stunned when she said I'd just described a hot flash! Many women had complained so bitterly about hot flashes that I'd been unable to make a connection between what I experienced and the hormonal surges that accompany menopause. Since I was feeling good, I opted to go through the change naturally unlike most of my girlfriends who sought medical advice and ended up on HRT. I decided that marijuana, diet, exercise, meditation and having an abundance of orgasms with my vibrator would be my therapy. At the end of that year, my lovely mini-heat orgasms ended and I actually missed them. Later on I discovered that marijuana had been prescribed by doctors to relieve menopausal symptoms before the US government declared war on this useful plant in 1937. Anyone interested in the history of this remarkable plant, Google "The Great Marijuana Conspiracy."</p> <p>Around fifty-six, my vagina stopped liking penetration even with plenty of extra lubrication. During a workshop, I felt a new burning sensation when I inserted my Vaginal Barbell to demonstrate the pelvic floor muscle, even using the small end. However, my clitoris still loved to be touched and vibrated, so my self-loving orgasms were delightful. At that time, penis/vagina sex wasn't an issue because I wasn't relating to a male partner. There's a reason they call this transition "men-on-pause." For some women vaginal thinning is a serious problem if they want to continue penetrative sex, but for others it's an opportunity to find new ways to share orgasms. Still others find it's a welcome relief to let go of partnersex because it was never a source of pleasure and orgasms.</p> <p>At the age of sixty-five, I began to miss vaginal penetration. After my original investigation and careful reading of the information that accompanied the pharmaceutical list of possible HRT side affects, I began looking for alternatives in 1995. While on the West Coast, I saw a young woman gynecologist/endocrinologist who was prescribing "natural hormones" in pill form. She assured me that none of the side affects held true for these plant-based hormones. Technically speaking, using the word "natural" is misleading. Instead of using estrogen derived from pregnant mares' urine, these new hormones were derived from the soybean plant which seemed more body friendly to me. After a few weeks of using this new hormone replacement, within no time, my vagina plumped up and I began lusting for penetration. At first I felt a bit like a male to female transsexual, but I soon settled down into my old familiar heterosexual self enjoying penis/vagina sex while I used my vibrator.</p> <p>After eight years of taking bio-identical hormones in pill form, I wanted to stop taking hormones orally that had to be processed by my liver. I asked my East Coast Gynecologist if there was a cream that could be inserted directly into my vagina instead. At first she prescribed the pharmaceutical version of plant-based hormones. When I tried the Est. Ring, the low dose was too weak and the high dose caused breast soreness. Besides the ring was a nuisance to use. Then there was a pill that was vaginally inserted with the same problem as the Est. Ring. Finally, I clarified my preference for a small compounding pharmacy because they regulated the dose for individual women. At that point I became an informed consumer who advocated for me.</p> <p>I'm currently using an estrogen cream combined from the soybean plant. It's similar to what my body once produced and therefore I believe it's more easily assimilated. Best of all it's applied as a cream with an applicator inside my vagina once or twice a week before I go to bed. As yet, there have been no long term studies on plant-based hormones, but my gut feeling is that they are safer than the synthetic ones.</p> <p>You need a doctor's prescription but go to a compounding pharmacy to avoid getting over-charged (When I went to fill my perscription at my local CVS, they wanted to charge $300 for the same tube of cream I buy for $30 from The Women's International Pharmacy):</p> <h3><strong><a href="http://www.womensinternational.com/">The Women's International Pharmacy</a> in Madison WI. You can email them through their site or call them at 800-279-5708. </strong></h3> <p>My instincts have often served me well. I was always suspicious of the HRT promoted by the big pharmaceutical companies that keep an eye on the bottom line of profit. The dramatic drop in breast cancers starting in 2003 paralleled a sharp drop in HRT usage following the 2002 release of a widely reported government study questioning the safety of HRT. Since that time, other approaches to addressing menopausal symtoms have become available that focuss more on herbal remedies and vitimins. Several of my friends have said they have reservations about the hormones made from the soybean plant and they prefer to stay with those offered by the pharmaceutical companies. We are free to make our individual choices.</p> <p>Today the latest scientific research is aimed at a pill for women that would create sexual desire. There is no pill, cream or gel on the market that I would recommend regardless of their claims. Viagra brings increased blood flow to the genitals but it doesn't necessarily enhance a woman's sexual interest. If I relied on my sex drive for all of my orgasms, they would be few and far between. After vibrating my clitoris for a few moments, sexual desire always appears. The electric vibrator is to women what Viagra is to men.</p> <p>It's unfortunate that so many women see the change of life as a marker for the onset of old age which cause some to become depressed. I prefer what anthropologist Margaret Meade said when she spoke about the many women who experienced what she called "Postmenopausal Zest." I too felt a renewed vigor and embraced what was to become a phase of personal power in my creativity and career. My hope is that half of our government's leadership will be made up of postmenopausal women. Meanwhile, sharing our experiences with menopause along with more details of our sexlives with each other is one of our best hopes for supporting women's sexual pleasure and health.</p> <p>Our sexuality is present throughout all of life's transitions that begins in utero, and continues with infants, toddlers, children, teens, adults and elders. Let's bless all of our happy life-affirming orgasms.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/146" hreflang="en">Menopause</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/726" hreflang="en">Betty&#039;s barbell</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/686" hreflang="en">masturbation</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/736" hreflang="en">penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/711" hreflang="en">vaginismus</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 13 Feb 2011 20:07:14 +0000 Betty Dodson 216 at https://www.dodsonandross.com How To Use the Barbell https://www.dodsonandross.com/barbell <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">How To Use the Barbell </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2018-07-26T12:57:20+00:00" title="Thursday, July 26, 2018 - 12:57" class="datetime">Thu, 07/26/2018 - 12:57</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-07/barbell_main_1.jpeg.webp?itok=O42KtJtS" width="541" height="272" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Betty Dodson PhD has proven though working with thousands of women that a strong pelvic floor muscle enhances orgasm with oneself and during partner sex. The same muscle also insures bladder control, maintains vaginal health, and contributes to a person's overall health, and contributes to a person’s overall well-being.</p> <p>The Barbell is both a practical vaginal exerciser and an excellent pleasure device that she has used for years in teaching women about orgasm. Made of stainless steel, the Barbell is sturdy enough to become a family heirloom that can be passed down from grandmother to granddaughter.</p> <p>The Barbell is 6 3⁄4 inches long and weighs nearly one pound. Once inserted, the weight holds it in place. We recommend sterilizing the Barbell before first time use by putting it in boiling water for a minute or two. Another method of sterilization is putting it in a dishwasher. Thereafter, washing the Barbell with hot soapy water is sufficient.</p> <p><strong>First Some Useful Information </strong></p> <p><strong>Kegel Exercises:</strong> Many women today are familiar with doing Kegel exercises especially after giving birth. In the early 1940's, a gynecologist named Dr. Arnold Kegel was helping women to overcome urinary incontinence through pelvic floor exercises instead of relying only on surgery. After several months, some of his clients reported having orgasms for the first time. Dr. Kegel designed a feedback instrument called the Perineometer, a meter with a rubber hose attached to a penis shaped device. Once inserted, it showed the amount of pressure applied by tightening the vaginal muscle. In Betty's early orgasm workshops, women took turns using a Perineometer with a condom on it. Similar to the strong men in the circus swinging a mallet to ring the bell, when a woman scored a 100, Betty rang a bicycle bell while the group applauded.</p> <p><strong>Locating the PC Muscle: </strong>There are several pelvic floor muscles but the one we will be most concerned with surrounds both the male and female sex organs and is called the pubococcygeus, or the PC muscle. It attaches to the front of the pubic bone and goes around the anus. When the PC is contracted it can be felt in the clitoris, penis, vagina, and anus. One way to locate the muscle is to abruptly stop and start the flow of urine. A second and more dramatic way is to insert a finger inside the vagina and squeeze the PC muscle. When you feel pressure around your finger, you are using the correct muscle.</p> <p><strong>Exercising the PC Muscle:</strong> Try to keep everything relaxed except the vaginal muscle. LIFT UP. Do not bear down. At first, women often tighten the surrounding muscles in their stomachs, thighs, and buttocks. For the best results practice isolating and then tightening just the PC muscle. Be patient. Many women find it's easiest to use the Barbell first thing in the morning or just before going to bed. There are many ideas about how to best do PC muscle exercises like squeezing the muscle 10 times and resting. Or holding the muscle tight for a count of 5 followed by several rapid contractions. Most professionals agree that having a resistance device inside the vagina gives better results. However there's nothing wrong with exercising the PC muscle without the Barbell while watching television, talking on the phone, or browsing the Internet. It not only feels good but it keeps us in touch with our bodies.</p> <p><strong>Possible Benefits from Using the Barbell</strong></p> <p><strong>1. A toned PC Muscle</strong> insures better orgasms, genital health, and bladder control as well as regulates the bowels and enhances overall health. Doing PC exercises can also shorten delivery time and restore vaginal muscles after giving birth. During intercourse, rhythmically squeezing the PC muscle enhances sexual pleasure for both a woman and her partner. A healthy PC muscle would lower the number of pre-orgasmic women, avoid surgery to tighten relaxed vaginas, and eliminate Urinary Stress Incontinence. USI is the involuntary loss of urine while lifting, coughing, sneezing, laughing or having an orgasm. Millions of women needlessly suffer some degree of urinary incontinence resulting from multiple births, menopause, and the absence of genital awareness due to the lack of sex information. Using the Barbell will avoid off-putting treatments like surgery or having to wear adult diapers.</p> <p><strong>2. Combining PC Exercises with Orgasm:</strong> As for the frequency of doing the exercises, we believe that once the PC muscle exercise is associated with sexual pleasure, each woman will discover her own individual style and preference. We have also been told by our clients that ending a PC workout with an orgasm has inspired many to do the exercise on a regular basis whether its once a day in the beginning or two or three times a week later on. Many women have said that consciously working the PC muscle while masturbating has clearly enhanced their experience of orgasm. Listening to music and adding a rhythm will vary the exercise and make it more pleasurable.</p> <p><strong>3. Vaginal Dilator and Aerator:</strong> Young women can use the Barbell as a vaginal dilator to prevent painful first time intercourse. By getting in touch with her PC muscle and starting with the smaller ball, you can gradually penetrate your own vagina with a minimum of discomfort. Many women diagnosed with vaginismus (painful spasm of the vagina) or who suffer from a chronically tight vagina can use the Barbell to gradually learn how to relax the vaginal muscles by working the PC muscle. For women who are postmenopausal or no longer having penetration sex with a partner, using the Barbell will aerate the vagina, help slough off dead cells, encourage lubrication and enhance orgasms during self-stimulation.</p> <p><strong>How to Use the Barbell</strong></p> <p><strong>1. Inserting the Barbell:</strong> Lie down on your back with one or more pillows under your head. Bend your knees with both feet on the floor. Be comfortable. While taking several deep breaths and relaxing, spend a few moments connecting with your body. Apply massage oil on your hands and warm up with a genital massage that includes your clitoris. Lubricate the Barbell and place the larger ball just at the vaginal opening. Totally relax the vaginal muscles as you exhale then squeeze and release the PC muscle on the edge of the ball. Take another deep breath and exhale relaxing the vagina as you slowly insert the Barbell an inch. Again squeeze and release the PC muscle several times. Continue this process until full penetration has been achieved. If any discomfort is experienced, use the smaller end of the Barbell.</p> <p><strong>2. Enhancing Your Orgasm with PC Exercises:</strong> Depending on the length of each woman's vaginal barrel, an inch or two of the Barbell will remain on the outside of her vagina. Once fully inserted, the weight of the Barbell holds it in place leaving both hands free. We have our clients use one hand for clitoral stimulation either manually, with a battery or an electric vibrator while squeezing and releasing the PC muscle. Try using the other hand for body and breast massage. To move the Barbell tighten the PC muscle as you slowly pull it out leaving the larger ball just inside the vagina. Then relax the vaginal muscle and let go of the Barbell. Its weight will allow it to drop back inside effortlessly. In the beginning, most women prefer to leave the Barbell in place while they combine PC muscle contractions with pelvic rocking, breathing, and their preferred clitoral stimulation.</p> <p><strong>3. Coordinating Breathing, Pelvic Rocking and the PC Muscle:</strong> As you rock the pelvis up, exhale and squeeze the PC tight. Then, inhaling you drop your hips back down and relax the muscle. Keep the movements small and gentle. If the reverse feels better you can inhale rocking forward and exhale dropping back. At first this seems complicated but it's similar to learning a new dance step. In the beginning we feel awkward and self-conscious but after many repetitions the body takes over and the moves become automatic. There is no one "right" way to use any of these techniques. The important thing is to breathe, rock and squeeze the muscle until your own individual style emerges.</p> <p><strong>4. The Barbell as a Sleek Sex Toy:</strong> It's very sensual to have a lover slowly move the barbell back and forth inside the vagina while a woman uses her fingers or the Magic Wand vibrator to stimulate the clitoris. With the woman lying on her back, try angling the Barbell up to press on the ceiling of the vagina, stimulating the urethral sponge/female prostate/g-spot, or gently press the Barbell against the cervix. The smooth surface of the barbell makes it a safe toy for anal penetration. It is important to note that when using the barbell anally you or your partner must hold on to the end to prevent the barbell from slipping all the way inside.</p> <p><strong>5. The PC Muscle and Men:</strong> A toned PC muscle is as important for men as it is for women. If young men knew how to use their PC muscles during masturbation, they could learn to control the urge to ejaculate. Then they would be able to extend the pleasures of intercourse and enjoy having fuller orgasms as adults.</p> <p>Men at any age can benefit from doing isometric exercises with the Barbell inside the anus. A healthy PC muscle will not only reduce the vast numbers of fast ejaculating men, it would also lower the high percentage of older men who no longer have erections and/or end up with urinary incontinence. Using the Barbell anally while stimulating the penis heightens male orgasm with or without internal prostate massage.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-button--default.html.twig x paragraph--atom-button.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig * paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/content/paragraph--atom-button.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-button paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-link--atom-button.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-link.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-button.html.twig * field--field-link.html.twig * field--link.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-link field--type-link field--label-hidden field__item"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/798282657/betty-dodsons-barbell?click_key=ebadd43bae7b9150cb41043f2eada0b1fc62b0e1%3A798282657&amp;click_sum=916cd7fb&amp;ref=shop_home_feat_1&amp;bes=1">Buy on Etsy</a></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/content/paragraph--atom-button.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-button--default.html.twig x paragraph--atom-button.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig * paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/content/paragraph--atom-button.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-button paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-link--atom-button.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-link.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-button.html.twig * field--field-link.html.twig * field--link.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-link field--type-link field--label-hidden field__item"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Betty-Dodson-Designs-Barbell-by/dp/B00CDTNMFQ?ref_=ast_sto_dp">Buy Amazon</a></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/content/paragraph--atom-button.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bettys-rock-n-roll-orgasm-technique" hreflang="en">Betty&#039;s Rock n Roll Orgasm Technique</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/first-time-penetration" hreflang="en">First Time Penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-toys" hreflang="en">Sex Toys</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/g-spot-combination-orgasm" hreflang="en">G-Spot &amp; Combination Orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/painful-penetration" hreflang="en">Painful Penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/pc-muscle-lubrication" hreflang="en">PC Muscle &amp; Lubrication</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/726" hreflang="en">Betty&#039;s barbell</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/801" hreflang="en">lubricant</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/686" hreflang="en">masturbation</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/696" hreflang="en">multiple orgasms</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/631" hreflang="en">orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/736" hreflang="en">penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/671" hreflang="en">self pleasure</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/711" hreflang="en">vaginismus</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Thu, 26 Jul 2018 12:57:20 +0000 Betty Dodson 211 at https://www.dodsonandross.com Chronic Interstitial Cystitis & Vulvodynia Make Me Feel Broken https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/chronic-interstitial-cystitis-vulvodynia-make-me-feel-broken <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Chronic Interstitial Cystitis &amp; Vulvodynia Make Me Feel Broken</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2014-09-13T12:19:48+00:00" title="Saturday, September 13, 2014 - 12:19" class="datetime">Sat, 09/13/2014 - 12:19</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sb_womanball_3.jpg.webp?itok=LiKERqYB" width="640" height="370" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Dear Dr. Betty,</p> <p>I am unsure if this is the right email to ask you a question since there are several on your website. I wish if possible that you don't post my question on your website.</p> <p>I am 24 and at the age of 20 I was diagnosed with chronic interstitial cystitis and vulvodynia. I have seen at least 10 specialists from urology, gyno, pelvic floor physio, etc. I feel that down there doesn't belong to me after being examined over and over again on a weekly basis.</p> <p>Every three weeks I go to the hospital for an installation into my bladder through a catheter. I also go for pelvic floor physiotherapy every three weeks. My vagina is often very red or raw. I often have pain. When I try and masturbate there is no use because it just hurts more. I don't seek any personal relationships because I feel broken. I fear sex because I know it's going to hurt.</p> <p>Do you have any suggestions?</p> <p>S</p> <p>Dear S,</p> <p>I am not a medical doctor but a sexologist. However, it seems to me you are being excessively treated and some of it sounds like they actually worsen your condition. Instead of being a passive victim of medical procedures. I suggest you take control of the situation by devising your own more natural approach. I just went to Google and found a lot of information that might be helpful.</p> <p>Also regular loving and gentle vulva massage using an organic oil with your mind focused on healing while repeating some phrase so you mind is thinking positive, will help you to heal yourself. Louse Haye's little book "Heal Your Body" has been very helpful to many. She looks at the mental causes for illness and suggests a metaphysical approach to overcome them.</p> <p>The mind is a very powerful tool for healing. She believes that bladder problems come from anxiety, holding onto old ideas, fear of letting go and being pissed off.&nbsp; One phase she suggested repeating: "I easily and comfortably release the old and welcome the new in my life. I am safe."</p> <p>You can change the words to please yourself, but you have nothing to loose by giving this a try. Anything would be an improvement over what you have described in your email. It sounds like the medical professionals are torturing you in the name of curing you. Time for you to take control of your own healing path. Wishing you a happy recovery.</p> <p>Dr Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/painful-penetration" hreflang="en">Painful Penetration</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/711" hreflang="en">vaginismus</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sat, 13 Sep 2014 12:19:48 +0000 Betty Dodson 3696 at https://www.dodsonandross.com IUD Made Me Fearful of Sex https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/iud-made-me-fearful-sex <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">IUD Made Me Fearful of Sex</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2013-09-26T20:36:42+00:00" title="Thursday, September 26, 2013 - 20:36" class="datetime">Thu, 09/26/2013 - 20:36</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/nude_female2.jpg.webp?itok=BzUXkSzj" width="640" height="471" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty &amp; Carlin,</p> <p>I am 30 years old, female, and in my first healthy relationship. Sex was great for the first few months, I was able to ejaculate easily accompanied by orgasms. I was able to orgasm through oral stimulation. Then, something changed. Everything changed. I had an IUD put in and around this time I became FEARFUL of sex, of being touched.</p> <p>I started remodeling my apartment, avoiding sex. If we were having sex I would feel FEAR physically overwhelm me and I would literally kick and push my boyfriend off of me. This happened a few times dramatically so, I went to see a psychotherapist I had seen awhile ago. I have (still) a very supportive boyfriend and did not want to traumatize his sex life. His mom is a gynecologist and he has a very healthy attitude towards sex. It's been about 8 month since the fear started. Being in my therapy has brought up my unhealthy relationship to sex and body. For a decade I thought date rape was my fault, it happened (once violently) at least seven times to me. So, with all this information I've brought up to myself, I feel I see where the fear is coming from.</p> <p>My question for you both is, how do I take sex from such negative associations and make it healthy again? And have you ever heard of other women reacting negatively to an IUD? It made me more timid about my body, like I could break. The IUD changed the thrust I wanted from my partner (more shallow, deep thrust I was scared). I saw your video about a diaphram and am going remove my IUD infavor of this. I would love to actively change my sexual attitude. In all this I did by a vibrator, but I shy away from self love. I never grew up with that affirmation, pleasuring myself was an objective I didn't even realize was for me until a week ago. I thought because I could ejaculate, that was evidence of pleasure. I would love your advice!</p> <p>Thank you,<br> E</p> <p>Dear E,</p> <p>I have several essays on my understanding of "female ejaculation." I've never had the experience nor do I want to learn. The few women I know who do ejaculate all agree that it is NOT the same thing as having an orgasm.</p> <p>I suggest you begin at the beginning and learn about your clitoris and spend some time masturbating. Don't waste any more time digging up old sex wounds. We all have them. Instead move forward. I agree with you about the IUD. It would freak me out too knowing a foreign body was inside my uterus. All the info you need is on the website.</p> <p>awakening the clitoris: <a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/12/awakening-clitoris">http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/12/awakening-clitoris</a></p> <p>first time orgasm: <a href="http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm">http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm</a></p> <p>learn a new orgasm: <a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/05/learn-new-orgasm-how-upgrade-your-masturbation-technique">http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/05/learn-new-orgasm-how-upgrade-your-masturbation-technique</a></p> <p>how to use the barbell: <a href="https://www.dodsonandross.com/barbell">https://www.dodsonandross.com/barbell</a></p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>Dear Betty,</p> <p>I wrote to you in July of 2012 asking for advice because my body was physically responding with fear to sexual stimulus. I thought the causes were a recent IUD I had received, an unhealthy relationship with my body and sex, and the fact that I had been date raped once violently, among other instances. When I wrote this letter, I was writing to you out of desperation. Of my sex life I wrote, "something changed. Everything changed. I had an IUD put in and around this time I became FEARFUL of sex, of being touched. I started remodeling my apartment, avoiding sex. If we were having sex I would feel FEAR physically overwhelm me and I would literally kick and push my boyfriend off of me."</p> <p>I am writing you today because I believe the advice you gave me in response is partially outdated, insensitive, and medically inaccurate. Your response was, " I suggest you begin at the beginning and learn about your clitoris and spend some time masturbating. Don't waste any more time digging up old sex wounds. We all have them. Instead move forward. I agree with you about the IUD." My main concern with your response is your recommendation about burying old sexual wounds. I don not disagree at all with your suggestion of learning more about my body, this is beautiful and I am deeply grateful for the overall message of your website.</p> <p>However, as a PhD sexologist, your website is an important forum for conversations regarding sex. I am sure others like myself find your site when trying to self-diagnose (medically recognized) side effects of sexual assault. I do feel your minimization of my sexual assault was wrong. My statement acknowledging I had been date raped was a recent awareness to myself at the time I reached out to you. I had no training in identifying sexual assault, especially in the context of date rape, where my attacker was known to me, and all the more confusing. However, as a Sexual educator I find it irresponsible for you cast off my experience as "old sex wounds. We all have them."</p> <p>It is true many if not most human's have sexual wounds - instances of sexual assault done to us by perpetrators. Instances not of our asking our control. However, the importance in identifying these wounds for what they are - sexual assault - is an integral part of the healing process. With identifying the wound one can begin to identify other hallmarks of sexual assault such as PTSD, body memories, constricting of ones environment, hyper vigilance, and intrusive thoughts as documented in Judith Herman's landmark guide to healing, "Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror" .</p> <p>I do wish we lived in a a world where we could all just "move forward" from our sexual wounds. However, I feel Betty you have skipped a step in feminism, the acceptance of our wounds and healing process that necessarily accompanies this acknowledgement. If our sexual experts do not acknowledge the documented physical and mental side effects of sexual trauma, who will? How can we possible move forward in the ongoing sexual revolution?</p> <p>I did see a psychotherapist to understand the underlying causes of my side effects: the dramatic change in my sexual experiences from positive to negative, being overwhelmed with fear when faced with sexual stimuli, avoidance of sex through other activities, among others. This psychotherapist tried to medicate me. I left his care and found a place that focuses on trauma recovery of specific life events. It is not easy to find proper care for these wounds once the cause has been acknowledged.</p> <p>I have spent the last year in counseling dealing with effects of that violent date rape. I completed a 14 week support group for women who have also experienced sexual assault. And something beautiful has happened. I have healed. We cannot ignore the sexual wounds. To skip the step this to deny ourselves the reality of our sexual wounds - acknowledging these are experience done to us by others, unasked for. I have reconstructed my ideas of safety and learned to self soothe myself in many ways when the triggers of the trauma intrude in my life. These learned coping skills are an important step in healing. I believe if I did not seek out to further understand my wounds, the cut would lay deeper inside of myself, unhealed and able to erupt without warning and understanding.</p> <p>No amount of masturbation can heal what we do not put a name to. My body is mine once again. Now I do not need to wonder where the fear comes from, I know. I have identified my sexual assault. And the reward is a fuller understanding of my sexuality inside an out. Sexual assault by nature of the crime takes away control of our own bodies. Full healing restores this control.</p> <p>I strongly urge you to not disregard your readers sexual wounds. They should be addressed and not pushed aside. As a sex educator it is your responsibility to fully communicate the range of sexual side effects. I encourage you Betty to dig up old wounds. Do not be afraid, it is not a waste of time. It is a necessary step in fully being able to take ownership over our bodies.</p> <p>Thank you for listening,<br> E</p> <p>Dear E,</p> <p>Thank you for getting back to me about healing your sexual trauma. Given the degree of violence currently rampant in our society, I'll admit that "date rape" hasn't been a high priority on my list of sexual problems facing girls. When you stated: "For a decade I thought date rape was my fault, it happened (once violently) at least seven times to me." It did occur to me that you might unconsciously enjoy "rough sex." However, now that you have shared your healing experience, you have helped me to understand your situation far better.</p> <p>When you advised me not to be afraid of digging up my old sexual wounds, I smiled. At the age of 85 with a long life of being a sexual warrior, my wounds are so numerous it would take years to identify and process them. My point being that some of us heal ourselves with repeated orgasm energy by giving ourselves an abundance of pleasure on our own term via self-loving.</p> <p>Hopefully I will continue to learn more about how to help people right up to the last day of my teaching career which has been primarily focused on creating more sexual joy in the lives of women and girls. I used to always recommend "The Courage to Heal" by Ellen Bass. Now I will add "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman. I'm happy to hear about your successful recovery.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/painful-penetration" hreflang="en">Painful Penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/birth-control" hreflang="en">Birth Control</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/726" hreflang="en">Betty&#039;s barbell</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/691" hreflang="en">clitoris</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/711" hreflang="en">vaginismus</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/636" hreflang="en">vulva</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Thu, 26 Sep 2013 20:36:42 +0000 Betty Dodson 2641 at https://www.dodsonandross.com How to Heal Your Vulvodynia https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/how-heal-your-vulvodynia <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">How to Heal Your Vulvodynia</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/106" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Carlin Ross</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2010-12-14T21:52:37+00:00" title="Tuesday, December 14, 2010 - 21:52" class="datetime">Tue, 12/14/2010 - 21:52</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/femalenude8_0.jpg.webp?itok=i8OvgwdC" width="640" height="304" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>MTV's True Life episode "I Can't Have Sex" about women suffering from vulvodynia, PFD, and vaginismus inspired me to read the curetogether.org ebook <a href="http://www.curetogether.com/vulvodynia/book/"><em>Vulvodynia Heroes</em></a> Alexandra Carmichael sent me months ago.</p> <p>There are so many wrinkles to "vulvodynia" and not one clear cause or treatment. What I love about this ebook is that it's made up of first person accounts from women who've healed themselves. Somewhere it <a href="http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/survey/symptoms/">their stories</a> you may find your own cure. Here's my interview with Alexandra:</p> <p><strong>What is curetogether.org? Who started the site?</strong></p> <p>I started the site with my husband in 2008, and I recently told the whole story <a href="http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2010/09/curetogether_--_crowdsourced_health.html">here</a>.</p> <p><strong>What is vulvodynia? How do you contract vulvodynia?</strong></p> <p>Vulvodynia is chronic vulvar discomfort or pain, characterized by burning, stinging, irritation or rawness. It's a poorly understood condition, and there seem to be multiple causes - birth control pills being one possibility in my case.</p> <p><strong>Is it true that 16% of women will suffer from some sort of vulvodynia "episode" in their lives?</strong></p> <p>Yes, according to the National Institute of Health - <a href="http://orwh.od.nih.gov/health/final_vulvodynia_report.pdf">http://orwh.od.nih.gov/health/final_vulvodynia_report.pdf</a></p> <p><strong>You started curetogether with user-generated information and communities on vulvodynia, endometriosis and migraines. Do these conditions affect women more than men? Are there adequate medical treatments for these conditions?</strong></p> <p>Yes, and in fact 2/3 of the members on CureTogether are women. Vulvodynia and endometriosis are female conditions, and migraines affect women 3 times more than men. The research for these conditions is underfunded, diagnosis and treatment are not well defined, and millions of people are suffering in silence every day. So having been through it myself, I wanted to do something to help others like me.</p> <p><strong>What is remarkable about this disease is that it affects so many women differently. Treatments ranged from diet and exercise to medications and surgery. Why isn't there one tried and true way to treat vulvodynia?</strong></p> <p>Great question! First of all, there seem to be different types of vulvodynia, which is really just a blanket term for unexplained vulvar pain. For some women, the pain varies with their cycles, while for others, it is constant. Some experience pain only on contact, while some have pain even with no contact. Some women have itching, or burning, or stabbing sensations.</p> <p>So I think the main reason there isn't one way to treat vulvodynia is that it's really not one condition - as we learn more about it, we will discover subtypes of it that are best treated with different approaches. Until then, it's very much trial and error for each woman.</p> <p>This summer we also published an infographic showing the most popular and effective treatments for vulvodynia from our latest CureTogether data - <a href="http://curetogether.com/blog/2010/06/23/7-surprisingly-simple-treatments-for-female-pain/">http://curetogether.com/blog/2010/06/23/7-surprisingly-simple-treatments...</a></p> <p><strong>Women talked about "Revive" and doing relationship building exercises. Why is this important?</strong></p> <p>Vulvodynia is really a condition that affects both partners. For the first 5 or 6 years that I was with my partner, it was excruciating to even try putting a pinky finger or a tampon into my vagina, and attempting intercourse felt like a knife slicing me open. It can be confusing and frustrating for partners who don't understand what's happening, not to mention stressful for the women experiencing pain, and can strain the relationship. So a lot of open sharing, talking, and relationship-building exercises can be very helpful to keep a strong bond in the midst of the challenge of vulvodynia.</p> <p>You list the symptoms and treatments that were the most popular. Why is not wearing underwear followed by antidepressants the most common treatments today?</p> <p>The list of treatments was totally generated by more than 1000 women with vulvodynia who somehow found CureTogether - they added the treatments they tried and rated treatments others had tried, and those were the treatments that came out on top. More recently, ice and physical therapy have taken over the top two slots - <a href="http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/treatments/">http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/treatments/</a></p> <p><strong>Can kegel exercises aggravate vulvodynia? What's the difference between kegels and pelvic floor drops?</strong></p> <p>I'm sorry, I don't know the answers to those questions.</p> <p><strong>For some women pregnancy helped their symptoms - for others their symptoms started after giving birth. Why is this true?</strong></p> <p>I think this has to do again with the different sub-types of vulvodynia - if it's hormonally-related, then the extra hormones circulating around the body can reduce the pain dramatically. But the hormone drop post-partum can bring about a lot more pain.</p> <p><strong>Why can oxalate foods aggravate vulvodynia?</strong></p> <p>Again, this only seems to help some people with vulvodynia, and I don't believe the mechanism is very well understood. The theory is that if you have high oxalate levels in your urine, this can cause irritation of the vulvar tissue. There is a low-oxalate cookbook published by the Vulvar Pain Foundation - <a></a></p> <p><strong>What are the most common causes of pain for women with this disease?</strong></p> <p>The most common reported causes at CureTogether (<a href="http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/causes/">http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/causes/</a>) seem to be related to physical contact, hormonal cycles, or infections, and stress is reported to make it worse.</p> <p><strong>Why do you think 51% of women with vulvodynia also suffer from another condition?</strong></p> <p>Another great question! I don't know for sure, but my guess is that people who are predisposed to vulvodynia are somehow wired for susceptibility to pain or other chronic conditions. The female body is more complex than the male body, given our ability to bear children, so more things can possibly go wrong, and do. So if a high-level body process is triggered to attack itself, in an auto-immune kind of way, this can have multiple downstream effects. That's just one thought - as more research is done, clearer answers will be found.</p> <p><strong>What inspired you to have real women share their experiences with vulvodynia?</strong></p> <p>When I was going through my 10 years with vulvodynia, I didn't know a single other person who had that I could talk to. So when I did find other women going through the same thing, I wanted to hear their stories, and I thought it would help others to hear them too.</p> <p><strong>Why do you think it's better to link to resources, blogs, support groups recommended by real women?</strong></p> <p>Real women are the experts on their own bodies. They live with their pain every day, they've tried everything under the sun and know what works and what doesn't. They have such a wealth of knowledge that has no place to be shared. When I went to my doctor's office, there was no way for me to talk to the other patients - now I can!</p> <p><strong>Your ebook is amazing - what inspired you to take on vulvodynia, a disease that has no cure?</strong></p> <p>I was inspired by my own journey, and a desire to help other women find possible answers much faster than I did. And I wanted to help raise awareness so that one day there may be a cure.</p> <p><strong>Can women heal themselves?</strong></p> <p>I don't know if all women can heal themselves, but I did, with the help of my naturopath, after 10 years of searching. We can try everything we can to heal the physical pain, and if nothing works and we have to accept it, then we can turn to healing the psychological pain. Doctors definitely have an important role to play, and patients have an enormous amount of information to share with each other as well. Every day that I'm not in pain, I'm working hard to help empower other people who are.</p> <p>CureTogether also just won the Amgen/Ashoka Changemakers' Patient Empowerment Competition, so it's great to see that other people are seeing the possibility in patients sharing data too. </p><p>THANK you so much for your questions and your interest, and for your courageous and inspiring work on sexual health. I'm off to watch some more of your videos now!!</p> <p>Be well.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/painful-penetration" hreflang="en">Painful Penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/your-vulva" hreflang="en">Your Vulva</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/711" hreflang="en">vaginismus</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/636" hreflang="en">vulva</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Tue, 14 Dec 2010 21:52:37 +0000 Carlin Ross 2666 at https://www.dodsonandross.com Female Ejaculation Letters https://www.dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/female-ejaculation-letters <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Female Ejaculation Letters</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2004-03-15T14:58:56+00:00" title="Monday, March 15, 2004 - 14:58" class="datetime">Mon, 03/15/2004 - 14:58</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field 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'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-07/margit-wallner-1111260_1920.jpg.webp?itok=hELHiTqZ" width="640" height="400" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>I recently read your book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-One-Selfloving-Betty-Dodson-ebook/dp/B0064127LE">Sex for One</a>, borrowed from a friend who was making a documentary about female masturbation. In any case, I am a 21 year-old student who just started exploring my body very recently (on my own that is) and I have come across many interesting things.</p> <p>For one, it seems that I am an ejaculator. At first, like every other woman, I figured I had peed on myself. But I smelled and checked and made sure it wasn't pee. So the only logical conclusion was ejaculation (and a rather large amount of it too).</p> <p>I know you are not a fan of it. Well, after reading the letters/writing you have on it, I felt like it was a bad/unattractive thing. You tell us to love our bodies and their reactions, but then point out a couple of times that you don't think women ejaculating is cool, and even tease them for it. What if they feel bad about it too?</p> <p>I feel it's a sensitive issue if it makes women feel self-conscious about them selves. I wish so bad that I didn't ejaculate! It's a pain to have to make sure you have a towel under yourself, or worry that a lover is going to be turned off by it, so it is scary that even a sexpert is put off by it.</p> <p>Please tell me that I am normal and that there is a way to stop it (or at least reduce it)! I'm going to try the PC exercises. But now I am scared of intimacy because of how a lover would react to it. Do you know if they generally hate it or like it?</p> <p>Wish me luck, and thanks.<br> Elena</p> <p>Hi, Betty!</p> <p>Love your website! Very educational!</p> <p>I am responding to your letter to April S. Can Female Ejaculation Be Taught?</p> <p>I am one of those women (now 48) who has always flowed a lot during orgasm -- mainly after partner sex that goes on for four or five hours, where I am reaching my fourth or fifth orgasm. I need to use towels on the bed, or else I will leave big puddles of love juices. The white liquid flows vaginally, not through the urinary tract. In fact, with enough stimulation from my partner, I can feel those super hot fluids gushing right out of my pussy over my lovers hand as I climax. Being stimulated inside by his long index finger is typically my favorite way to climax. (But not always, it just depends on what I'm in the mood for.)</p> <p>During orgasm, I don't need to try and "bear down" to ejaculate, although I probably DO do that involuntarily. I just seem to have really strong, responsive vaginal muscles. When I'm not turned on, my vagina is really tight (in fact, too tight). When I am turned on, it gets pretty large. Those vag muscles just seem to have a mind of their own! I have no direct voluntary control over whether they are opening up to FINALLY allow penetration -- or clamping down, off and on, during a hard climax. (My partner has even complained at times that they were clamping down too hard on his poor little finger, poor dear.)</p> <p>Although female ejaculation or excessive wetness is kind of fun (and apparently unusual), I don't think it really matters at all whether a woman can do this or not. I certainly would never bother trying to "learn" it. That's what lubricants are for. However, it does seem to be a function of how hard and how often the woman is able to climax. At least, that is true for me....</p> <p>In my mind, the most important things are patience, playfulness, and letting go of expectations. I love to take my time, and I enjoy super long lovemaking sessions, because my orgasms keep getting stronger and stronger each time. After four or five hours, I am finally just totally exhausted, even begging him to stop fucking me or stop touching me. My body and my nervous system finally just get so overloaded from all the activity that I just can't take any more pleasure.</p> <p>Anyway, I hope this sheds a little more light on the phenomenon of female ejaculation. For those who may still be uncertain, it is entirely separate from urine release.</p> <p>Jeanne B.</p> <p>Dear Joanna,</p> <p>I stand by statement that when a woman experiences fluid expulsion, the liquid exits via the pee hole (or urethral opening) and it's chemical make-up seems to remain a mystery so the jury is still out on what female ejaculation consists of.</p> <p>As for your description of your own sexual preferences and capabilities, you are a sexual Amazon. Congratulations! There have been a few delightful periods in my life where I've had the good fortune of enjoying a man who was able to fuck for five hours or had the desire to finger me that long, but it has been the exception and not the rule. Even now with a very young virile lover, after the first rush of lust, which lasted nearly a year, once we started spending time together on a daily basis, we now seem to be quite satisfied with an hour's worth of mutually orgasmic sex several times a week. Now that I'm in my early seventies, I consider myself to be quite fortunate.</p> <p>The term "female ejaculation" conjures up all kinds of assumptions. The fact that we are having this conversation indicates there is still controversy surrounding the phenomenon of female fluid emission, a better term because "ejaculation" implies sexual arousal and orgasm. Many of my friends who enjoy shooting have said they can do it without having an orgasm. Several admit they are borrowing from their bladder after the first spurt.</p> <p>My main objection to the whole idea of "female ejaculation" is that it sets up an ideal of fabulous sex that only a few sexual athletes can achieve. Even you stated, "It does seem to be a function of how hard and how often the woman is able to climax." The bulk of American women are still struggling to achieve orgasm with a partner or by herself, so expelling buckets of wetness and coming often and hard is daunting.</p> <p>We agree on partnersex being based on patience, playfulness, and letting go of expectations. Spending quality sex time is also important but look at how most women are living today with careers, children, and overworked husbands. In the end, we can always agree to disagree and that won't in any way interfere with our personal sex lives.</p> <p>You believe all this white fluid pours out of your vagina when you come hard. According to my fluid emitting friends, it exits through the urethral opening. Ultimately we are each entitled to our own opinions. The important thing is to enjoy our bodies, our sexuality, and our orgasm no matter what form they take.</p> <p>Happy orgasms. Betty</p> <p>Hi, Betty! Nice to hear from you again!</p> <p>You wrote, I stand by statement that when a woman experiences fluid expulsion, the liquid exits via the pee hole (or urethral opening) and it's chemical make-up seems to remain a mystery so the jury is still out on what female ejaculation consists of.</p> <p>Well, I must admit the term ejaculation is still quite confusing to me. And perhaps I am using the term incorrectly. But the material I've read on this subject would seem to bear out the ejaculation through the vagina theory. If I recall correctly, I was reading something about the ovaries having a correlation to the testicles, and being responsible for vaginal fluids being released during orgasm. I have never seen any articles about female ejaculation through the urethral opening.</p> <p>You wrote, As for your description of your own sexual preferences and capabilities, you are a sexual Amazon. Congratulations!</p> <p>Thank you for the compliment, Betty, but I have never considered myself a sexual Amazon! Nor was I trying to brag, but I was simply trying to be explicit. Apparently I didn't do that very well. When I refer to lovemaking sessions that go on for four or five hours, I'm talking about a whole lot of petting and talking that gradually builds up into more and more sexual acts. I'm counting all the rest periods, too. It's the whole combination of talking, foreplay, fucking, resting, which sort of occurs off and on in cycles. One of the most important things a man can do is just talk to me and give me his full attention. And the kiss of death is feeling like he's got his eye on his watch.</p> <p>You wrote, Even now with a very young virile lover, after the first rush of lust, which lasted nearly a year, once we started spending time together on a daily basis, we now seem to be quite satisfied with an hour's worth of mutually orgasmic sex several times a week. Now that I'm in my early seventies, I consider myself to be quite fortunate.</p> <p>Wow, I think you are doing incredibly well! I hope that I'm half that active when I am in my seventies! Even during the times in my life when I've been married or living with someone, having sex once a week was usually my limit. Right now I am lucky if I get to have sex once every month or two so I have to make the most of it! It's pretty tough being single again after my divorce last year. Up until just recently, I went through a long dry spell with no sex for 9 months. And sometimes, when I've been single in the past, it's been as long as 2 years between sexual encounters! You can see why I'm investigating vibrators!</p> <p>You wrote, My main objection to the whole idea of "female ejaculation" is that it sets up an ideal of fabulous sex that only a few sexual athletes can achieve. Even you stated, "It does seem to be a function of how hard and how often the woman is able to climax.</p> <p>I agree wholeheartedly with your criticism of the terminology, Betty. Using the term "female ejaculation" is bound to just make things worse by making women feel even more inadequate. And we certainly should try to be helpful and compassionate. But on the other hand, I believe my statement about flooding the bed after frequent and forceful orgasms is true. And for those women who are horribly embarrassed about flooding the bed, or those men who might just think their partners are peeing the bed, it seems like this information could be helpful.</p> <p>You wrote, You believe all this white fluid pours out of your vagina when you come hard. According to my fluid emitting friends, it exits through the urethral opening.</p> <p>This is rather interesting. How would we really know? None of us are motivated to stop having an orgasm just so that we can pin down the location of these fluids. And I suppose there's a chance that some women do emit fluids through the urethral opening and others do it vaginally. This topic is making me feel rather ignorant. Maybe I need to go watch some detailed v</p> <p>Take care, Joanna</p> <p>Dear Joanna,</p> <p>Things cleared up a lot when you told me you were lucky if you got to have partnersex once every month or two, and that's why you make the most of it with five-hour sessions. Instead of assuming the word "sex" means with another person it would help clarify matters if we differentiated between partnersex and sex with ourselves. A lot of divorced women discover themselves when they lay off partnersex. I'm sure when you went through that long dry spell you were enjoying masturbation.</p> <p>As to your statement that there is lubrication inside the vagina, you are correct. But as for "ejaculating women," the reason I know it comes from the urethra is because I got down between my girlfriends legs under a good light and observed it with my own eyes. Even the big money making book, The G-Spot, states that the fluid exits from the urethra. Nowadays "Ejaculating" women are big in porn, and a few "Ejaculating" women can also be seen in educational videos.</p> <p>Yes, there are a few women who emit fluid at the moment of orgasm. This has been written about throughout history. However as in most erotic literature or personal testimony, sex gets described in exaggerated and glowing terms. It's called "poetic license." Add to that the fact that during the last decade, goddess forbid any person, especially another female doubted a woman's testimony. If you did, you were considered to be anti-feminist. The pendulum always swings too far in both directions.</p> <p>For example: When finally getting around to dealing with the sexual abuse of women, we went overboard. An abuse industry grew up around women's accusations of being raped. They were encouraged by therapists who were later discovered to be creating false memories in their clients. This is similar to the G-spot industry. As well as a slue of new books, there are now G-spot toys as more folks jump on board for a slice of the pie. This is how sexual myths are spread and money is made by the latest in sexual fashions. Meanwhile more and more women are being confused about "female ejaculation" just as you may have been.</p> <p>So far it has not been determined what this fluid consists of and for me that's the fly in the ejaculate. Dr. Gary Schubach, who graduated from the same school as I did in San Francisco, set up an experiment that attempted to determine whether the fluid came from the urethral gland (the spongy tissue surrounding the urinary tract approximately two inches in length) or the bladder which can extend to hold a sizable amount of liquid. He tested only seven subjects who were all "female ejaculators."</p> <p>They were catheterized to isolate the bladder from the urethra and to drain the fluid from their bladders while they were stimulated to orgasm. The fluid drained from the subjects bladders during sexual arousal and orgasm was significantly different from urine samples collected prior to arousal. It had a reduced concentration of urea and creatine. He concluded that the expelled fluid was an altered from of urine and that there was a process going on during sexual excitement that changed the chemical composition of urine.</p> <p>So what's wrong with golden showers during a woman's orgasm? Nothing if that's your thing. However, I teach the opposite of what "ejaculating women" are doing. They must bear down at the moment of orgasm, and I teach women to lift up or squeeze the PC muscle. Women who constantly push out appear to be loosing the lining of their vaginas with the uterus about to follow. Those bulging vaginal vestibules indicate weak, not strong pelvic floor muscles.</p> <p>How do I know all this? I have spent over thirty years sitting next to one woman at a time during genital show and tell under a bright light while we both look into the same mirror at her sex organ. I've seen thousands of women's genitals personally and up real close.</p> <p>Women who work at improving the pelvic floor muscle for better orgasms or after giving birth are taught to lift up or squeeze the muscle tight similar to stopping the flow of urine. Now if you reverse that process and forcefully push out, urine will gush or spray out of that cute little pee hole. Voila, "female ejaculation" or golden showers.</p> <p>So what's in a name? Everything when we turn it into the latest sexual fashion that caters to insecure men who love it when a woman "ejaculates," because he's now convinced he's made her come. Oh dear, oh dear. The lengths women go through to stroke the male ego.</p> <p>All my best, Betty</p> <p>Dear Betty,</p> <p>Interested to read the couple letters about female ejaculation and your responses on the site. Although I had always indulged in masturbation probably since age 5 although guiltily maybe from teens and through adulthood. Then I hit 40 (am now 41) and decided to give myself consent to explore my sexuality more fully through masturbation (after various negative experiences with men I chose to remain single and celibate from 30s and created a body that kept interest at bay!).</p> <p>During the course of that exploration this year I discovered that on repeated penetration using a vibrator or dildo I did 'squirt' or 'trickle' and got very powerful orgasms when I did. However after a couple of weeks I stopped because I did believe it was urine I was passing. However, the experiences were intense and I decided to do some reading into female orgasm and came upon 'female ejaculation' which I had never heard of (I subsequently learned that a friend was also able to achieve this).</p> <p>All the articles I read stated that this fluid was not in fact urine but had a chemical make-up similar to male pre-cum. I went back to my experimenting and found that the fluid is certainly not urine, it is clear and although most articles say it does not have a smell, I find it does have a slight odor and a salty taste. Over the 4 months I have experienced this I have found that more recently I can achieve this from the first penetration, whereas before it might be the third during the course of an hour - but when I achieve it from the first orgasm it's usually less intense - however on the third or fourth again the intensity increases.</p> <p>I do not know whether all women are capable of this - the statistics I have read declare that between 20-40% can experience it. I think only once with a partner did I 'pass fluid' other than the usual during intercourse and had assumed at that time it was urine also. I don't know whether I will be able to achieve this with a partner - that is for the future. But I do certainly think it is something other than urine and women should not be put off (as many will be) by others declaring it is.</p> <p>I do accept there is a considerable amount of research still to be done to establish both why some women do/do not achieve this and, exactly what the fluid is and where it comes from. However I did have a sense of 'tone' in your response to DK that lead me to believe that because you yourself had never experienced it you weren't happy to 'own' it in the way that you 'own' the joys of masturbation!</p> <p>I have to say though, that my explorations generally in self pleasuring have been greatly enhanced by some of the literature available (I have just ordered your book) including Carol Queen's 'Exhibitionism for the Shy' and other books that encourage its readers to be exhibitionist and exploratory with themselves and to give themselves consent to enjoy making their own pleasure. This is really the stuff that should be taught in schools to help all young people take hold of and demand a satisfactory and full sexual experience throughout their lives.</p> <p>CJM</p> <p>Dear CJM,</p> <p>My one complaint about female ejaculation is that it is rapidly becoming the holy grail of orgasm. As a woman who has never had the experience, I just want all the other 80 or 90 percent of women who have also never sprayed or spewed or ejaculated or peed to know we are not necessarily missing anything. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.</p> <p>The most recent assessment from the original authors of the G-Spot book are that large amounts of fluid being expelled is dilute urine and comes from the bladder. Smaller spurts in the quantity of a teaspoon or two probably come from the paraurethral glands that are prostatic in nature, but if a woman keeps bearing down she is likely to borrow some urine from her bladder.</p> <p>My question to women ejaculators is why on earth are they so dedicated to denying it might be urine? If it feels great and pleasure is involved, get out a baby's pad and pee away. Urine is antiseptic and can be used for many healing purposes except in America where all bodily fluids are considered disgusting. Like Gandhi, I have had long periods of drinking an ounce of my urine every morning. It builds the immune system and replenishes the body with vitamins and minerals. It can be used on skin rashes and insect bites. The big pharmaceutical companies would kill to be able to duplicate urine but it only works when it's our very own. Homeopathic power.</p> <p>One friend of mine said she feels cleansed after a big spew like having a good cry. Like her, many women have learned to do this by bearing down at the moment of orgasm. I teach the opposite use of the PC muscle -- lifting or squeezing and then relaxing the muscle and repeating this. This is how women are taught to do Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles after giving birth. In the end, I say enjoy yourself and come wet or dry to your heart's content.</p> <p>Betty</p> <p>Hi Betty</p> <p>I just found your website and even though I have had a good time reading, there is still a lot I have not seen. So please excuse me if I write to you about something you have already written about. I am Danish and my English fails me when I get to the sex-vocabulary, I really do not know the correct names for the private body parts and related matters, sorry.</p> <p>When I have my period it is as if my sexual sensitivity is renewed. The first orgasm after is much stronger. I look forward to this every month and I am a bit worried of what will happen after menopause. Have you heard of other women with this experience? Any who have it through menopause?</p> <p>Why is it that there is so little proper information about female ejaculation that is based on solid facts? I squirt, and a lot more than is normally estimated when people write about it. It can be as much as a liter. Only rarely that much and then it gives me the worst headaches if I do not very quickly drink a lot of water. But since it can be this much liquid, I know that it is not related to urine at all, it is clear/white and tastes good *LOL*. It is different from the liquid that I produce when aroused, not as "greasy" more "dry" (Here I really lack good words). I have the impression that you have not written much about this because you do not wish to make women who do not squirt fell inadequate.</p> <p>I think that we should all accept and enjoy the great variation in these matters. I just turned 40 and in my life my orgasms have been very different, especially before and after childbirth. If I had thought that orgasms should be a certain way, I would have deprived myself from great experiences. I also believe that to many women this squirting thing can be learned.</p> <p>I had a lover who enjoyed this so much that he would not fuck me, he only wanted to lie beneath me and make me squirt. In the end I got bored, and I got bad headaches and my stomach hurt and I was clearly more of a science project than a woman to him. But I also got a clear feeling of what happens and how I do it. And he tells me that he can now make any woman squirt. This may not be true, but I believe him because of the way he sounds when he tells me this - amazed/ amused/ proud.</p> <p>I do not think I am the only one, so how come I cannot find proper information? Can you show me the way to some? I think that with this quantity of liquid you should be able to know for sure where it comes from. By the way, I have never been with a man that did not enjoy this. And I have gotten used to having men laughing beneath me or beside me when I come. It's a very low-toned surprised/proud(?) giggle. It really gets me off.</p> <p>Best regards,</p> <p>Helga</p> <p>Dear Helga,</p> <p>Your English is excellent. Your orgasms after your period might be stronger due to the change in your hormones, relief that you're not pregnant or just the fact that you laid off of sex for a few days while you were bleeding. As for menopause, many women enjoy sex even more while others are content to give up all forms of sexual activity after menopause. I've been postmenopausal for two decades and I'm having spectacular orgasms alone and with a partner. Now as for women expelling fluid during orgasm, there has been an ongoing dialogue, debate and an abundance of antidotal information. But when it comes to science, we are still adrift. We can manage to go to the moon and back, but we can't seem to analyze the fluid that comes out of a woman's urethra when she's finger fucked. Some woman scientist will have to take this on and end the "Is it or is it not urine" debate once and for all.</p> <p>If you go to Google or any other search engine, g-spot and female ejaculation will bring up loads of information. I have a chapter in my latest book, Orgasms for Two that gives my current take on this aspect of female sexuality that has caused more confusion than clarification. It's titled G-spot or My Spot. Here in America g-spot orgasms have become a new version of vaginal orgasms which is our cultural bias. Very few women can achieve either one so why are we making them the holy grail of orgasm?</p> <p>It's a rare man who does not enjoy "making a woman come" when she spurts. That's solid proof of his success. This is another aspect of fluid emission I dislike. Just like the guy who wanted to finger you endlessly while you "came" all over him. This turns sex into the kind of performance that satisfies the worst aspects of men's insecurity when it comes to women's orgasms. But if a couple mutually enjoys doing this, they just need to buy baby pads to protect the mattress and spurt to their hearts' content.</p> <p>Betty</p> <p>Betty,</p> <p>I have read your book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Orgasms-Two-Partnersex-Betty-Dodson-ebook/dp/B000FBFO3M">"Orgasms for Two"</a>, and also have read your views in your web site regarding female ejaculation.</p> <p>Since my divorce, seven years ago, I have had many sexual relationships, six of which lasted several months each. Of the six, all, but one woman, were very sexual, two of the women were "squirters", and the remainder of the women actually became multi-orgasmic during our relationship and started ejaculating.</p> <p>First I would like to talk about the "squirters", your contention that the fluid is excreted from the bladder, and is actually urine, I can not agree with. I have tasted this fluid, practically bathed in it, and it is not urine. The fluid is clear, and does not have the taste or odor of urine, and I believe is secreted from within the uterus tract.</p> <p>The other women that I dated, after becoming multi-orgasmic, actually ejaculated a white substance that is very similar to my semen. It is a thick white liquid, excreted during intense orgasms. When I showed them their semen, all of them were initially concerned, until I could assure them, it was a natural product of their intense orgasms.</p> <p>My sexual techniques are similar to what you described your 25 year old lover performed on you, but I can assure you no one is better than I am. My technique with my tongue roaming the vagina, clit and anus, then gradually focusing on the clit while my fingers pentrate the vagina, and anus simultaneously, until feeling her tensing, then my finger, or fingers, concentrate on her "G-spot", which does exist, probing her anus with my other hand, and lovingly licking her clit until climax. I have been told by everyone I have had sex with, probably 30 women, that no one is better than I am.</p> <p>I have always had an intense sexual desire, an incredible imagination, and learned amazing staying power. I absolutely love and crave sex, and actually love licking and tasting pussy more than intercourse, and I love intercourse. During intercourse I always gently message her clit, as I slide in and out of her vagina, or anus.</p> <p>When I have known the women long enough to learn their fantasies, I always use them in conjunction with oral sex or intercourse. Fantasies, I have found, are equal to, or better than the physical things I can provide, and trust me, I am very good at providing the physical things.</p> <p>I learned of you while watching the TV program "The O'Reilly Factor", and I found you interesting and very sexy.</p> <p>I am 53 years old, in excellent shape, very athletic, well educated, own a couple of businesses and split my time equally each month, between Westchester, NY and FL.. My FL condo is on the beach, and I love hot weather, the ocean, and golf. I have two beautiful daughters, and a gorgeous girl friend (unfortunately still married), with an incredible body.</p> <p>I hope to hear from you.</p> <p>Dear Kelly,</p> <p>Are you coming on to me with all this talk about what a great lover you are? If so, send me a photo that includes Mr. Happy. If your dick is as big as your ego, I'd want to show you off to all my girlfriends.</p> <p>If you do a more careful reading, you'll see that I acknowledge there is a g-spot or a small periuthrethral gland and that some women squirt. However, if it's more than a couple of teaspoons it's dilute urine coming from the bladder. It has been clinically shown that the fluid exits the urethra and that sexual arousal alters the chemical nature of urine. You can check this out by searching the internet. To call it ejaculate is incorrect so I prefer pussy juice. Meanwhile, we can agree there is much more to be learned about female sexuality.</p> <p>While I know guys love wet gushing dripping squirting pussies as proof they are great lovers, this has caused a lot of women who don't have this response to feel like inadequate clit nerds. Just remember, if you're good looking and rich, women are going to tell you all kinds of shit. If it turns out that you've been bathing in dilute golden showers, so what? It's obvious you're having a great sex life, so you have my 100% support.</p> <p>Betty</p> <p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>I'm still discovering more about female sexuality and it's really amazing that more and more women are discovering what ejaculation is all about. It's great that they can talk about it as well. It's like women have come full circle and good on them. I see some women can ejaculate a lot and some not so much. So us men aren't the only ones who can brag about to how far we can shoot.</p> <p>I read recently about a group of women gathering in the bush somewhere in the states (well out of public view) and had a timed competition to see who could ejaculate the quickest. Times varied from 18 seconds and the furthest measured was 27inches (amazing).</p> <p>In those movies where the women are getting wet from men ejaculating on them, now the women can turn that around, except men would get a lot wetter. That would be fun I am sure and I will become a volunteer. Your web site is very informative Betty and I will bookmark it,</p> <p>Cheers, Fred I.</p> <p>Dear Fred,</p> <p>I'm the voice for women who do not ejaculate and have no desire to learn. We have fabulous orgasms that don't leave wet spots on the bed or men's faces. If you want more complete info, read the chapter "G-spot or My Spot" in my latest book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Orgasms-Two-Partnersex-Betty-Dodson-ebook/dp/B000FBFO3M">Orgasms for Two</a>.</p> <p>First off, we need another word for "female ejaculation" because the word "ejaculation" assumes there is sexual arousal and orgasm present -- which is not the case for many women who have learned to bear down with their PC muscle. In one study, the "fluid" was shown to be dilute urine that came from the bladder. Seems that sexual arousal alters the chemical nature of urine. In those women who spurt at the moment of orgasm, there are seldom more than a couple of teaspoons and in two of my girlfriends, it came out in a fine spray.</p> <p>However, I see nothing wrong with having a golden showers contest. That way more women could attend. The woman who shot the 27 inches won a pissing contest. Keep on learning about more about female sexuality.</p> <p>Betty</p> <p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>First off, I wanted to tell you that I just recently acquired your Selfloving video. I was amazed, intrigued, encouraged, aroused and frightened all at the same time! I have a question that I hope you have some experience with. A little background first so that you can maybe understand my problem better.</p> <p>I am 34 years old and a lesbian. My first sexual experiences were with my father and my uncle starting at around 6 years old. Mostly my memories and impressions of sex are that it is painful, humiliating and dirty. By the time I was 12 I was already well on my way to becoming a drug addict and an alcoholic. During the years between 12 and 32 I had a lot of sex with both men and women, but I was always heavily intoxicated one way or another. I believed that sex was done for a reason, usually to get something like free drugs or just to be cool. I didn't like it and I know for sure that I never had an orgasm. Also, I definitely didn't masturbate.</p> <p>Basically, I was not able to have sex or even feel sexual unless I was intoxicated. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for 9 years now, and for the first 7, this was still the case. Now, I am a grateful recovering drug addict and alcoholic. The first year of recovery I spent healing and regaining my health and strength. After that, I realized that I had to learn how to actually live life again, drug free, and that a part of that is sex. Before I read your book and saw your video, I can honestly say that I did not even know the parts of my own vagina. I am terribly self-conscious about my body and being naked, so your video amazed me in that aspect. I had never even seen a gynecologist.</p> <p>Anyway, I have started masturbating with a vibrator. I have found that I can have very powerful orgasms when I am alone, but when I reach a climax, a liquid squirts out. A lot of liquid. I don't think it is urine, because I checked. This makes me uncomfortable having an orgasm with my partner. I find that I am so worried about it and inhibited, that I tense up and hold back. I know that in my past sexual experiences I never met any woman who had this, and I haven't seen it in porn or sex videos. So I am wondering have you ever had any experience with any other woman who does this, or am I doing something wrong, or am I some kind of freak of nature?</p> <p>S.W.</p> <p>Dear SW,</p> <p>Congratulations on reclaiming your life and your sexuality. I just finished answering a similar letter from a woman who was convinced she was urinating when she had orgasm. Squeezing and releasing the PC muscle is not only an important part of enhancing orgasm but it also assures us we will have control over our bladders.</p> <p>As we grow older, Urinary Incontinence is the involuntary release of urine when sneezing, coughing or coming. This is the result of a weak pelvic floor muscle ("PC muscle"). Strengthening this muscle is simple. Squeeze and release it rhythmically throughout all of your masturbation sessions. It's helpful if you use a dildo or my <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/798282657/betty-dodsons-barbell?ref=shop_home_feat_1&amp;frs=1">Betty Dodson's Barbell </a>(shown in the video) as a resistance device. BB is a stainless steel vaginal barbell for exercising the pelvic floor muscles. You can move it slowly in and out or angle it up to the top of the vaginal roof to press into the urethral sponge (or G-spot). The pelvic floor muscle needs to be tightened by pulling up on it.</p> <p>Make sure you are NOT bearing down during sexual arousal like you are about to give birth. To locate this muscle simply stop the flow of urine a few times while you're peeing. Read my letter:Special Exercises for the Vagina Are Important on this website.</p> <p>The other possibility is that you are ejaculating. Although I am not a fan of female ejaculation, some women love to claim it. There are books and videos out now on Female Ejaculation that can be found Online. If you discover you are really an ejaculator and still want to stop, the same exercise of lifting the pelvic floor muscle will work. If you are a copious ejaculator and want to continue don't let anything stand in your way of enjoying it. Get a supply of baby's mattress pads and cut loose. I'm sure your girlfriend will go along with anything that makes you happy and feels good.</p> <p>Betty</p> <p>spurtingorg.htm</p> <p>Dear Betty,</p> <p>I am 42, involved in a wonderfully loving and sexually fulfilling relationship except that I am unable to reach orgasm. My mate orally, digitally and with penetration brings me to the point where I could leap tall buildings in a single bound...but a mental block kicks in (I think) and I freeze. My heart races, I scream and get to where I think I'll pass out...but I have no ejaculation.</p> <p>When I can almost get my mind to totally let go, I have urine leakage. Great for the self-esteem! Yes, I am doing exercises for the incontinence, but in the meantime I know I am now "afraid" to let go. Please, please, any advice would be most welcome. My lover is patient and giving, open to help in any way. By the way, this has been a lifelong problem.</p> <p>Help! Tara</p> <p>Dear Tara,</p> <p>Only a small percentage of women "ejaculate" at the point of orgasm. Releasing fluid is not what determines whether or not you've had a climax. There is still way too much confusion around the issue of female ejaculation. More than a couple of teaspoons of liquid has been tested and shown to be dilute urine. Women that expel large volumes of dilute urine claim to enjoy the sensation greatly.</p> <p>Do some experimentation. Next time you get highly excited, instead of holding back to avoid "urine leakage" cut loose and let it rip. Just put down a baby's absorbent mattress pad to soak it all up. Many men enjoy seeing a woman shoot fluid whether it's a small amount from the paraurethral gland (ejaculation) or golden showers (peeing). Urine is antiseptic. It's not an evil substance.</p> <p>It sounds to me like you might be having orgasms. Take time to read my first time orgasm information. When all else fails, follow the directions. My website is full of information on female masturbation as the best way for any woman to learn about her own orgasmic process. The important element in strengthening your PC muscle is to lift up, not to bear down. Be sure to read my instructions that go with the <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/798282657/betty-dodsons-barbell?ref=shop_home_feat_1&amp;frs=1">Betty's Vaginal Barbell</a>. Include clitoral stimulation with your fingers, a battery vibrator or the Magic Wand and end the exercise with an orgasm. Claim your own sexual pleasure and you will be a better sex partner.</p> <p>Get back to me with the good news. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/g-spot-combination-orgasm" hreflang="en">G-Spot &amp; Combination Orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/your-vagina" hreflang="en">Your Vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/female-ejaculation" hreflang="en">Female Ejaculation</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/691" hreflang="en">clitoris</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/631" hreflang="en">orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/891" hreflang="en">pee</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/736" hreflang="en">penetration</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/936" hreflang="en">urethra</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/636" hreflang="en">vulva</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/876" hreflang="en">vulvanotvagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/716" hreflang="en">vulvodynia</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:58:56 +0000 Betty Dodson 376 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/female-ejaculation-letters#comments