Sex Styles https://www.dodsonandross.com/ en What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex & Multiple Partners? https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-can-i-say-when-criticized-casual-sex-multiple-partners <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex &amp; Multiple Partners?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2017-02-26T21:10:36+00:00" title="Sunday, February 26, 2017 - 21:10" class="datetime">Sun, 02/26/2017 - 21:10</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sb_romeil_0.jpg.webp?itok=yfQojIX4" width="640" height="363" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hello! Thanks for your time.</p> <p>I don't know how to respond to people about this. I know the insult isn't justified, but I do like sleeping with multiple guys. People say I put myself at risk too much. Not just about STDs but also for pregnancy. The funny thing, is that I risk being preggo much less often than lots of ppl in relationships do! Like if I hookup a few times a month vs most people who have sex with their partner at least a few times a week.</p> <p>They say it's different though, since they know each other if a baby happens. But I feel like the overall consequence is the same. Plus I usually take less risk, I'm on BC, use condoms, and usually ask him to pullout even with a condom on. I know plenty of couples that just solely rely on the pill.</p> <p>They don't really care or respond when I point all of that out. Or when I say that having STDs doesn't have to be a big deal, or just only from casual sex. They act like they're better than I am, but I don't insult them at all. I just like to have fun.</p> <p>What can I say back, when ppl don't care about the facts or just being more positive about sex? I'm almost scared to share any sex stories now, or participate when everyone swaps stories.</p> <p>R</p> <p>Dear R,</p> <p>You are simply sexual! Mostly they are silently jealous. When we dare to make our own rules, those who are fearful of doing so will always put you down. Just ignore them and continue to enjoy yourself.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/monogamy-polyamory" hreflang="en">Monogamy &amp; Polyamory</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 26 Feb 2017 21:10:36 +0000 Betty Dodson 2911 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-can-i-say-when-criticized-casual-sex-multiple-partners#comments I Can't Imagine Only Having Sex with Him https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-cant-imagine-only-having-sex-him <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">I Can&#039;t Imagine Only Having Sex with Him</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2016-05-23T20:16:45+00:00" title="Monday, May 23, 2016 - 20:16" class="datetime">Mon, 05/23/2016 - 20:16</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sb_threesome_1.jpg.webp?itok=vMadz8Cq" width="640" height="390" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Dear Betty,</p> <p>I have a boyfriend that really loves me, cares for me and supports me. We opened our relationship for about two years&nbsp;but he was too jealous and broke up with me. We got back together. But now it is almost impossible for me staying monogamous. I cheated on him and now I feel like I am a horrible person.</p> <p>I like having sex with my boyfriend, I trust him and we use a vibrator on my clit so I always finish. With other guys, I don't dare to use it, so I don't always have orgasms, but I get really turn on and really really wet, I feel alive!! and that doesn't happens me anymore with my boyfriend.</p> <p>I feel I'm a terrible egoistic person,I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I cant imagine my life having only sex with him and nobody but him forever. What should I do?</p> <p>Thank you very much for your help.</p> <p>J.</p> <p>Dear J,</p> <p>We often think it's men who want sexual variety while women are the one's who demand monogamy. But I hear this more and more: it's the woman who wants to break free of monogamy from time to time but her partner can't handle it. Another role reversal that teaches us to think beyond traditional concepts of what woman and men want.</p> <p>You are not a terrible person but rather a sexual woman! Who rightfully doesn't want to be owned by one man, especially so early in your life. The important thing here is NOT to limit yourself sexually. So time to move along and stop torturing yourself if he can't accept you as you chose to be.</p> <p>You are addicted to your current lover because you feel free to use a vibrator. Please give yourself permission to use your vibrator with all other lovers. I say it separates selfish boys from men who really appreciate women. Jealous men can really ruin a woman's happiness. So find new lovers who are more secure. The most important love affair of our lives is with ourselves. Happy orgasms.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/monogamy-polyamory" hreflang="en">Monogamy &amp; Polyamory</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/666" hreflang="en">pleasure empowers</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Mon, 23 May 2016 20:16:45 +0000 Betty Dodson 2921 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-cant-imagine-only-having-sex-him#comments I Love Him But Can't Shake the Feeling of Being with Another Guy https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-love-him-cant-shake-feeling-being-another-guy <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden"> I Love Him But Can&#039;t Shake the Feeling of Being with Another Guy</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2014-12-24T21:28:15+00:00" title="Wednesday, December 24, 2014 - 21:28" class="datetime">Wed, 12/24/2014 - 21:28</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sb_vibratingladies.jpg.webp?itok=Vo6W5akU" width="640" height="373" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Dr. Betty,</p> <p>I am 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He is the only person I've ever had sex with. I love him but I just can't shake the feeling about being with another guy. I want to but the guilt will kill me and I love him too much to just end our relationship. As well we have a family together I don't want to jeopardize that.</p> <p>I just don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about it and I feel guilty and helpless.</p> <p>Any advice?</p> <p>Thank you<br> T.</p> <p>Dear T,</p> <p>Do I understand you correctly? At 21 to be with your BF for 7 years means you started when you were 14. That's way too young but here you are. And you have a family? You're a good example of lacking sexual experiences with other people naturally has you curious.</p> <p>The elephant in the room is being a child bride. Are you married? In many cultures a girl is considered a woman once she menstruates. And many religions would applaud the fact that you have only been sexual with your partner. Still your curiosity nags at you. Due to the sexual double standard, a guy would just cheat and most likely get by with it. However, a woman will be regarded negatively if she does the same and gets caught.</p> <p>The safest solution for you would be to masturbate with elaborate fantasies of hot sex with a cast of thousands. Or you and you partner can agree to open up your marriage to include others. This is complicated and requires negotiating a system that works for you both. Meanwhile don't beat yourself up for thinking about how much you would like to experience sex with someone else. Turn this into those elaborate hot fantasies I already mentioned. And forget feeling guilty. You are just a healthy young woman with a natural sexual curiosity.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>PS. What part of the world do you live in and what religion is practiced?</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/monogamy-polyamory" hreflang="en">Monogamy &amp; Polyamory</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Wed, 24 Dec 2014 21:28:15 +0000 Betty Dodson 2941 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-love-him-cant-shake-feeling-being-another-guy#comments How Do I Encourage Her to Explore & Experiment & Not be Embarrassed? https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/how-do-i-encourage-her-explore-experiment-not-be-embarrassed <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">How Do I Encourage Her to Explore &amp; Experiment &amp; Not be Embarrassed?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2014-11-04T21:30:53+00:00" title="Tuesday, November 4, 2014 - 21:30" class="datetime">Tue, 11/04/2014 - 21:30</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sketch_couple3_1.jpg.webp?itok=C6cvUlyK" width="640" height="387" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>Firstly, I realize that I'm a lucky man - I have regular sex with my partner and she usually orgasms from penetration alone!</p> <p>But I think our sex life could be even better. I'd love my partner to be able to tell me about things other than penetration that feel good for her. Foreplay can be a bit brief - kissing of course, a few minutes of touching each other's genitals with hands, and then in it goes!</p> <p>I'd like to give her oral, for variety, or on a day where she needs more time to warm up. She sometimes lets me for a few minutes, but doesn't really enjoy it. She says it "feels funny" and she gets embarrassed. I've asked her if she'd like me to go softer, firmer, faster, slower, whatever, but she can't/won't give me any clues!</p> <p>It can also be a bit routine in terms of position. She likes missionary on the bed. Clearly that position gets her off, but I'd like some more variety. We'll sometimes do doggy for a few minutes, but again I feel like she's doing it for me and not really enjoying it for herself. Surely there must be other positions she'd enjoy ... if only we'd experiment enough to discover them. I'd like to try lots of different positions in different rooms around the house etc., not just missionary on the bed.</p> <p>Sometimes I'd like to give her pleasure a boost by playing with her clitoris whilst penetrating her, but we are never in a position where her clitoris is accessible. I'd be overjoyed if she played with her own clitoris during sex - but she never does.</p> <p>I think she is just embarrassed / hasn't explored her body very much. I don't think she has masturbated at all since we got together (2 years), and she said she would very very rarely masturbate during the preceding years when she was single.</p> <p>I think there is even more pleasure just waiting for us if she could let go of the embarrassment and experiment / discover what feels good. Finally to the question then - How can I *encourage* her to explore and experiment and not be embarrassed? I don't want her to feel pressured into doing things for me, I want her to discover new pleasures for herself (though yes, more pleasure for me is a likely side effect).</p> <p>In case it matters, we are both mid 30s.</p> <p>Thanks,</p> <p>M</p> <p>Dear M,</p> <p>My guess is that your girlfriend is NOT have orgasms or she mistakenly thinks what's happening is an orgasm. Everything you say about her 1. Always having "vaginal orgasms" 2. direct clit stim feels funny. 3. She's never masturbated 4. Position A where you do every thing leads me to be believe she's pre-orgasmic.</p> <p>The solution lies with her NOT you. She needs to learn about her sexual response by practicing masturbation alone. OR, you can continue to do everything and enjoy your own orgasms.</p> <p>Perhaps she will take it upon herself to learn but there's no promise that will happen. Go onto the website together and see if you can initiate a conversation that is more truthful than her saying, "Oh, I love everything you do." Good luck.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/691" hreflang="en">clitoris</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/686" hreflang="en">masturbation</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/806" hreflang="en">preorgasmic</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/671" hreflang="en">self pleasure</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Tue, 04 Nov 2014 21:30:53 +0000 Betty Dodson 2946 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/how-do-i-encourage-her-explore-experiment-not-be-embarrassed#comments What Does "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Mean in Open Relationships? https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-does-dont-ask-dont-tell-mean-open-relationships <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">What Does &quot;Don&#039;t Ask Don&#039;t Tell&quot; Mean in Open Relationships?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2013-11-14T21:58:17+00:00" title="Thursday, November 14, 2013 - 21:58" class="datetime">Thu, 11/14/2013 - 21:58</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/3graces.jpg.webp?itok=6WlomfKi" width="640" height="315" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty-</p> <p>I'm wondering what exactly is meant by "Don't Ask Don't Tell". Is it that the one partner in the couple knows that the other is seeing someone else, and just doesn't want to know details? Or is it that the partner literally has no idea that the other is seeing someone else?</p> <p>I'm currently in a situation - the third party to a DADT relationship. However, I've been told that whenever my partner's partner has discovered her side pieces, there is hell to pay. Is this normal? How do third parties deal with the lack of control over their own schedules and the possibility of getting their asses kicked by an angry, surprised significant other? I really like this person - should I just go with it and not worry?</p> <p>Dear A,</p> <p>Good question. There are numerous ways to define DADT and both of your examples could apply. Most often, one partner might expect their SO is fucking someone else but simply doesn't want to face it or know the truth with or without any details. The other scenario is that one partner has no idea their lover is seeing someone else. The best scenario is when one lover actually gets turned on by knowing his/her partner is having sex with someone else, but that's rare.</p> <p>So it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue. Just make sure you're not having sex in a place where the Other partner might show up. Jealousy can produce volatile emotional responses. Frankly it gives me the creeps to have sex with someone in a place where the other lover might appear. I'd definitely avoid that. Ultimately the best scenario would be to establish an open relationship but that requires a fairly secure person.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/monogamy-polyamory" hreflang="en">Monogamy &amp; Polyamory</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:58:17 +0000 Betty Dodson 2981 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-does-dont-ask-dont-tell-mean-open-relationships#comments Feel Like I Need to Choose: Mind Blowing Sex or Safety of Marriage https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/feel-i-need-choose-mind-blowing-sex-or-safety-marriage <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Feel Like I Need to Choose: Mind Blowing Sex or Safety of Marriage</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2013-10-14T21:00:33+00:00" title="Monday, October 14, 2013 - 21:00" class="datetime">Mon, 10/14/2013 - 21:00</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/bettyfred_0.jpg.webp?itok=piuA59Ae" width="640" height="418" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>I discovered you several years ago and you have helped me feel free and normal about my sexuality, thank you! Since getting off the pill, my sex drive is through the roof. I am 31 years old and married. Sex with my husband (when it happens) is good, sometimes GREAT but we only average 1-2 times a month. I know there is more I could be doing to help this issue but we are just never in the mood at the same times. I have had thoughts about ending the marriage due to this and some other issues for a couple years. Overall, we get along great, best friends but never hot, need you now sex.</p> <p>I am having an emotional and getting incredibly close to a sexual affair with a man that is also married. The chemistry/spark between us is beyond what I could have ever imagined. I have never met someone that shares the same views about life and sex as him. I desperately want to fuck this man but am riddled with guilt. I do not what to miss this opportunity to have mind blowing sex but I cannot live with myself for hurting others. What would you recommend?</p> <p>BB</p> <p>Dear BB,</p> <p>This is the struggle most married couples face sooner or later due to the ridiculous institution of monogamy. If you had "mind blowing sex" with this guy for a few years, it would be the same old problem of mating in captivity. It seems sex eventually becomes ho hum no matter how hard we try to "spice" things up. Most of us know that the spice of sex is variety. Yes, there are the rare couple who thrive on monogamy but they are a small minority.</p> <p>The best case scenario would be discussing this with your husband and exploring the polyamory community that believes we can love and have sex with more than one person contrary to religious dictates. Monogamy is designed to keep us guilty and hoping to be forgiven by our priests or pastors. I'm pretty sure god, if there is one, is way too busy to care what we do in our personal sex lives.</p> <p>If the above solution fails, I'd have a fling and keep my own council. After all, men have been doing this for ages. It's called "Don't ask, don't tell" and while I'd prefer honesty, sometimes it's just to hurtful. The first time I had sex outside marriage my guilt feelings were just too awful to do it again. My solution was to end the marriage and explore sex. You're between a rock and a hard place and only you can decide what your next step will be. Decide wisely.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/monogamy-polyamory" hreflang="en">Monogamy &amp; Polyamory</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Mon, 14 Oct 2013 21:00:33 +0000 Betty Dodson 2986 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/feel-i-need-choose-mind-blowing-sex-or-safety-marriage#comments Could a 36 Year Age Difference Work? https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/could-36-year-age-difference-work <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Could a 36 Year Age Difference Work?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2013-06-23T12:30:43+00:00" title="Sunday, June 23, 2013 - 12:30" class="datetime">Sun, 06/23/2013 - 12:30</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/couple3.jpg.webp?itok=fplNY-HB" width="640" height="348" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Dr. Betty!</p> <p>I met an older woman at work that I found extremely attractive. We have a 36 year age difference between us. For about six months, I didn't know if she was a lesbian or married, so I would do little things for her (like bring her coffee, buy her lunch, and give her little practical gifts) to show her that I was interested. At one point, she mentioned her husband and I felt crushed finding out that she was married. Up until fairly recently, she and I started talking and her true feelings came out. Apparently, she has always been interested in women, but never pursued a relationship with one.</p> <p>We've been seeing each other for about two months now and it has been amazing! We haven't had sex yet but she really wants to, I want to as well, but have been hesitant. I suppose I fear that she might fulfill that sexual desire she has for women and go back to her life with her husband and son (who is a few months older than myself). A part of me also feels like we could share a life together. Despite of the age difference, we share many commonalities and have an amazing connection. She has also mentioned that she would leave her husband for me, but I haven't weighed in on that topic because I don't want to influence her in any way, I would want her to make that decision on her own. So my question(s) for you are:</p> <p>(1) Could a 36 year age difference work?<br> (2) When would be the right time to have sex?<br> (3) Should I communicate my fear of being left high and dry once we have sex, to her?<br> (4) Would my lack of experience when it comes to sex clash with her more experienced self?<br> (5) She mentioned to me that she can be a jealous person and I've seen her jealousy come out when I would talk to other women or when I would be texting or on the phone. Since she is married and is seeing me, should I keep my options open and see other people? I really don't want to, but my sisters mentioned that it wasn't fair that she has a marriage and a relationship with me and I'm completely devoting myself to her. If I should keep my options open, how do I relate that to her?<br> (6) What is your opinion on all of this?</p> <p>I've never been as happy as I am now with her. I've been searching the web on Lesbian May/December relationships, but haven't found anything helpful. I'm hoping you could help :)</p> <p>Thank you,<br> J</p> <p>Dear J,</p> <p>What a wonderful time for you both. I had a delightful May//Dec relationship with a young man forty some years younger. It lasted 10 years as he became my apprentice. I taught him a lot about female sexuality and he turned me onto what was happening to twenty year old young men. Most of my love/sex interests have been with younger women and men so I think it's great!</p> <p>(1) Could a 36 year age difference work?<br> Absolutely! My last age difference was 42years with me as the senior!</p> <p>(2) When would be the right time to have sex?</p> <p>ASAP. If it's no good then you can move along. Right now it's all romantic fantasies that have damn little to do with reality. Initiate sex NOW!</p> <p>(3) Should I communicate my fear of being left high and dry once we have sex?</p> <p>YES! To my way of thinking, the more straight forward and honest we are with our lovers the better it is for all concerned.</p> <p>(4) Would my lack of experience when it comes to sex clash with her more experienced self?</p> <p>Since she's a married woman, it might be that she's had very little sex experience that was orgasmic. So why assume her experiences were all positive?</p> <p>(5) She mentioned to me that she can be a jealous person and I've seen her jealousy come out when I would talk to other women or when I would be texting or on the phone.</p> <p>Jealousy is never a good thing. I believe it can be a BIG problem as it indicates the person is very insecure. Some people like to have a lover express jealousy as they mistake it for love. It is not a loving posture. So buyer beware.</p> <p>Since she is married and is seeing me, should I keep my options open and see other people? I really don't want to, but my sisters mentioned that it wasn't fair that she has a marriage and a relationship with me and I'm completely devoting myself to her. If I should keep my options open, how do I relate that to her?</p> <p>Absolutely! Your sister is correct. Keep your options open but don't make a big deal out of it. She'll get the picture the next time she wants to see you and you tell her that you have "other plans" or say you have a date. I highly recommend this. As for "making a life together" think about that after you've had sex a few times. Don't be a slave to love. No one really respects this as a rule. You are your first and best lover. Don't forget that.</p> <p>Keep me posted and Good Luck,</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 23 Jun 2013 12:30:43 +0000 Betty Dodson 3006 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/could-36-year-age-difference-work#comments My Boyfriend Masturbates But Rarely Wants Sex With Me https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/my-boyfriend-masturbates-rarely-wants-sex-me <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">My Boyfriend Masturbates But Rarely Wants Sex With Me</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2011-09-12T13:06:24+00:00" title="Monday, September 12, 2011 - 13:06" class="datetime">Mon, 09/12/2011 - 13:06</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/drawing_sleepingman.jpg.webp?itok=6NmSaU6M" width="640" height="327" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>First of all, thank you so much for your website. Even with as liberal of a mother as I had to raise me, the down and out details of sex, and overall how-to's are hard to find.</p> <p>My question comes from the thoughts my mind is raising while reading these articles and learning better methods to have fun and have even better intimate time with my man. He and I have been best friends and tight as can be for years, and we are actually married now. I can honestly say I'm absolutely not religious or conservative in anyway, but it just turned out this one young man has been my first and only lover. I am the same to him. I was raised with a good deal of education on sexuality and the body, and was encouraged to self explore in my own time and place. He was raised Catholic, and was deeply shunned/scorned by his family when he was once caught in his normally perfect plan to masturbate privately. No education at ALL. (guess who's been the teacher? Thankfully he's a very wonderful student~)</p> <p>I tell you this because I now wonder if I should apologize to him for a time I got mad at him. He's always been shy (understandably, and we've worked on it a LOT) but earlier this year he was also a bit hard to get into bed. There was always something needing doing, some noise outside, some disturbance that could possibly happen. We eventually had enough talks about how sex once-in-a-while (and I mean this boy seemed like he could go a month. Drove me insane) while I felt more than compelled to be all over him daily, was going to literally murder me with depriving abstinence. Daily wore him out too much, and granted, I could understand the concept of fewer, more lasting, intense encounters rather than a bunch of faster ones. I got it down to a science with him, because I knew his drive took time to 'build up' you could say. Sometimes I couldn't fathom how he didn't want it more, being a 20 year old male. So one night I asked him if he ever played with himself without me there. To my great mystification, it turned out he was doing it in the middle of the night sometimes while I was asleep to play out dreams he was having about us.</p> <p>I got angry after thinking about it. I was so desperate to share more sexual time with him (without feeling like I was having to put on a big song and dance to convince him) that I told him I wish he would wake me up if that's when he's finally interested. After that conversation, I had basically expressed how frustrated I was to realize he was basically letting off all his steam alone, so by the time he got back to a-very-interested-me the following afternoon, his level of desire was just moderate.</p> <p>Now becoming more educated in the subtitles of loving, thanks largely to your writings, I wonder if it was wrong of me to be angry. Would being deprived of sexual action for a day really make him want it more the next? Does masturbation really work like a sexual chill-pill for the 24 hours after he finishes?</p> <p>After much communication he's been getting a lot better at just saying 'yes' when nature calls and spending time with me more spontaneously. Finally it doesn't have to be only when the sun goes down, two hours after eating, only when no one would call us, and all that other ridiculousness his anxiety conjured. We love doing everything together (or giving the other a show) but is there any benefit to apologizing and encouraging him to do it alone? Or should he save his energy for time with me?</p> <p>Thank you very much for your wisdom,<br> A Fantasy Writer</p> <p>Dear L,</p> <p>It would be good for you to recognize that masturbation is quite different from sex with a person. We get to focus on ourselves exclusively instead of always worrying or considering our partner. Since your hubby was deprived of childhood masturbation, he might need some time to catch up on his fantasy life. We really can't fully fantasize when we are with a lover. So don't bother to apologize but let him know he can masturbate whenever he wants to. So can you.</p> <p>Don't&nbsp;make the mistake of expecting him to have your same appetite for partner sex. I don't believe that a person masturbating drains off sexual desire to have sex with another person. Quite the opposite. My husband never masturbated so he was a premature ejaculator. Married couples need to give each other time alone or they will exhaust their sex energy constantly wanting to get one or the other to do what they want. Love has the ability to let go.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/creating-sexual-desire" hreflang="en">Creating Sexual Desire</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Mon, 12 Sep 2011 13:06:24 +0000 Betty Dodson 3061 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/my-boyfriend-masturbates-rarely-wants-sex-me#comments What IS Kundalini? https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-kundalini <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">What IS Kundalini?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/311" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lawrence Lanoff</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2011-08-26T14:01:06+00:00" title="Friday, August 26, 2011 - 14:01" class="datetime">Fri, 08/26/2011 - 14:01</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/kundalini-awake.jpg.webp?itok=LnXoM7tK" width="640" height="360" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>I was leading a workshop called The NEW Relationship Roadmap in Sedona, Arizona this weekend. One of the questions that came up during the workshop relates to something called “awakened kundalini” energy.</p> <p>So what is kundalini? If you have never heard of kundalini before, consider this to be a rational primer.</p> <p>Kundalini is a Sanskrit word that literally means “coiled.” It refers to the idea that, in the base of the spine, there is a potential energy - instinctual, libidinal, unconscious - that awaits awakening and transformation. It is often envisioned as a goddess or a serpent that, through meditation, yoga, and other esoteric exercises, uncoils and rises up the spine in order to be transformed from animal into godly perfection.</p> <p>Of course this is all metaphor. There is no real snake or goddess. There is no actual godly perfection. Kundalini is an ancient people’s way of trying to understand and control the power of instinctual sexual impulses. When these instinctual impulses freely move in the body, up the spine, and into the brain, the kundalini is said to be awakened - and the sexual energy is said to be purified.</p> <p>Some traditionally accepted signs of an “awakened” kundalini include:</p> <p>Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking - especially when becoming sexually aroused.<br> Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body.<br> Intense heat (sweating) or cold.<br> A state of constant orgasm.<br> Pressure inside the skull and headache<br> Bliss, feelings of infinite love and universal connectedness, transcendent awareness</p> <p>For me, kundalini is best understood as a deep trance state, where unconscious impulses can move freely without the conscious mind controlling those impulses. The more we allow these experiences, the more the brain’s capacity to deal with these powerful impulses expands.</p> <p>The impulse release can cause a disconcerting firestorm for many people if they don’t understand what’s happening. I knew one woman who lived with involuntary jerks (not men) for 3 years before she came to me and I was able to help her.</p> <p>I see more and more clearly - everyday - how sexually repressed we all really are. When sexual impulses are free to flow through the body, something beautiful happens inside of our psyche. Ecstatic feelings, endorphins flow, life feels pulsating and delicious. Fear and terror may arise as well in resistance to pleasure.</p> <p>For me, this free flow of sexual energy is a profound experience - but one that I have full control over. By going into a deep trance, I give these very sexual and sensual parts of myself complete room to express. I allow them to have sound, energy, movement, freedom in my body. My body shakes, waves, rocks and rolls, and feel like I have had one of the best workouts in the world.</p> <p>We all want to be accepted for who we are. We want to feel normal in our sexual impulses. We want to feel good about our bodies. This is natural for us mammals. We want sexual freedom without social consequence. Kundalini - as a trance state - can allow us some experience of this.</p> <p>When I let my body flow freely - it can be anywhere from minutes to hours - I can completely loose my sense of self. Bring the “kundalini” into your lovemaking and incredible trance states can occur with your partner. Through these kinds of experiences, ideas of sacred sexuality appear in our culture. Sex is transformed, but I don’t agree that that is the highest form of sex. There are so many flavors, it seems a shame to limit our sexual self expression in the name of spiritual ideals.</p> <p>Most spiritual paths have some kind of ecstatic dance or ritual - from speaking in toungues to the Sundance. The problem is that spiritual and religious paths concretize the metaphor. They lead us to believe that the energy is coming <em>from</em> the spiritual path, the guru, the technique or the religion.</p> <p>Really, it’s coming from impulses deep inside our own bodies that we give ourselves permission to release. Though this hasn’t been extensively studied by science yet, at some point it will be and we will see the neuro-storm that happens when our sexual impulses are freed without self judgement and restriction - and the “kundalini (trance state) awakens”.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Fri, 26 Aug 2011 14:01:06 +0000 Lawrence Lanoff 4461 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/what-kundalini#comments Hermaphrodites and Cross-Dressing Saints https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/hermaphrodites-and-cross-dressing-saints <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Hermaphrodites and Cross-Dressing Saints</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/316" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Dr. Lulu</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2011-05-03T19:19:28+00:00" title="Tuesday, May 3, 2011 - 19:19" class="datetime">Tue, 05/03/2011 - 19:19</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/5683881333_21da203691.jpg.webp?itok=buUynsUq" width="485" height="255" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>To our Western way of thinking of gender, we seem to embrace a two-party system.</p> <p>Many cultures around the world leave room for more diversity and in some cases make room for a third gender — even a fourth. The Greeks and Romans were not only comfortable but also fascinated by the duality presented by the hermaphrodite.</p> <p>This famous statue of a sleeping hermaphrodite was found in Pompeii, one of two Roman towns destroyed in 79 AD by a volcanic eruption. It was not rediscovered for some 1800 years.</p> <img alt="hermaphrodite" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="c05c287d-5971-4d81-8cfa-41ec787d48db" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/hermap2.jpg" class="align-center" width="328" height="235" loading="lazy"> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>The ancient Greeks were among the first to incorporate this theme into a myth — the story of Hermaphroditus.</p> <img alt="hermaphroditus" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="0b8941af-0dce-4031-9622-2343c73bfb5e" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/5683881771_0799b2c428.jpg" class="align-center" width="333" height="500" loading="lazy"> <p><br> Hermaphroditus was the son of the goddess of love — Aphrodite (Venus as the Romans called her) — and Hermes, the messenger of the gods.</p> <p>One day, Hermaphroditus was minding his own business when the nymph Salmacis approached him and wanted to seduce him on the spot. Our hero, however, was not interested and declined her offer. When he thought she was gone, Hemaphroditus proceeded to take a dip in her empty pool. Suddenly Salmacis reappeared and decided she was going to have her way with him no matter what.</p> <p>He tried resisting but Salmacis requested help from the gods to keep them together — and well, her wish was granted. The two of them fused into a single body with both male and female sexual characteristics. Hence, we have the term hermaphrodite — a term that defines a person of both sexes.</p> <img alt="couple" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="eb985b1f-97b0-408f-b952-ccf291d12964" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/5684450048_76b8045847.jpg" class="align-center" width="355" height="500" loading="lazy"> <p><br> Hermaphroditus and Salmacis by Jan Gossaert (1520)</p> <p>This painting of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis by Jan Gossaert illustrates just how much this theme resonated with later artists — especially in the Renaissance. (More about those next time!)</p> <p>As you might imagine, Christianity was much more hostile to the concept of anything suggesting sexual ambiguity. But hold on! — not as hostile as you might think (given certain conditions). Let’s consider the phenomenon of the cross-dressing female saint.</p> <p>A great example is St. Pelagia — also known as Margarito — who is kind of an archetype for the cross-dressing female saint. In one version of her story she is a beautiful dancing girl and prostitute who repents and converts to Christianity and dresses like a man.</p> <p>St. Eugenia, another early Christian martyr, cross-dressed in order to join an all male religious community and later went on to become an abbot. Only when she was falsely accused of making sexual advances to another woman did she reveal her true sex.</p> <img alt="cross" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="18a5e9f6-fc7a-4a9c-81a8-d9c61ae75d68" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/5684449432_e767822915.jpg" class="align-center" width="275" height="500" loading="lazy"> <p><br> St. Wilgefortis</p> <p>My favorite, however, is St. Wilgefortis who is thought to have been bearded. This image incidentally of Saint Wilgefortis is in the chapel in Prague's Loreto Church.</p> <p>Wilgefortis resisted marrying the king of Sicily — a man her father had chosen — preferring instead a contemplative Christian life. She prayed for deliverance — and as a result grew a long mustache and beard. Consequently, her suitor rejected her and her father had her crucified.</p> <p>In some circles, St. Wilgefortis is considered the patron saint of married women who wish to be rid of their husbands.</p> <p>There are enough similarities in these stories of cross-dressing female saints that some scholars have argued that they represented survivals of pagan practices — specifically of those surrounding Aphrodite of Cyprus — where women sacrificed to the goddess of love in men’s clothing and men in women’s.</p> <p>As for examples of cross-dressing male saints there seem to be none but one might also argue that invariably higher status would have been accorded women who cross-dressed — but not men who would have lost status for doing so.</p> <p>Aphrodite</p> <img alt="Aphrodite" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="2a6e0361-769a-464c-bcb1-bd9a1cfb1837" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/5683881333_21da203691.jpg" class="align-center" width="500" height="336" loading="lazy"> <p>&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sex-styles" hreflang="en">Sex Styles</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/sexual-identity" hreflang="en">Sexual Identity</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Tue, 03 May 2011 19:19:28 +0000 Dr. Lulu 4566 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/hermaphrodites-and-cross-dressing-saints#comments