Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma https://www.dodsonandross.com/ en From Trauma to Orgasms https://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin-ross/2017/12/trauma-orgasms <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">From Trauma to Orgasms</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/106" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Carlin Ross</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2017-12-31T20:14:03+00:00" title="Sunday, December 31, 2017 - 20:14" class="datetime">Sun, 12/31/2017 - 20:14</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-07/vw_06.jpg.webp?itok=bTy-t49b" width="520" height="480" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p><strong>Every Woman on the Planet Has Been Sexually Traumatized. </strong></p> <p>At best, we've been objectified, demeaned, shamed, guilted, and manipulated into believing that we don't deserve pleasure on our own terms. At worst, we've been groped, assaulted, raped and blamed for male lust. Betty and I have traveled the globe and there isn't a society or culture where women have true sexual equality. The clitoris is ignored. The female model of sexual response isn't even part of the discussion. Procreate sex reigns supreme. Female chastity and male dominance are the norm and, sadly, the rape culture persists.</p> <p>What this means is that we all have to work through past trauma to get to pleasure. And I believe that this is the first step in the healing process: understanding that you're not alone and acknowledging your truth. The #metoo movement may be the silver lining to the social media circle jerk that we all have been subjected to - for the first time women feel true community instead of isolating victimhood. We are stronger together...our voices are being heard...action is being taken.</p> <p><strong>It Wasn't Your Fault.</strong></p> <p>When we stop blaming ourselves, we can assign blame to our true abusers, call them out, and move forward with our lives. As a teen girl, I remember the moment when I decided to stop beating on myself for allowing a grown man to assault me. I was a child. He was an adult and what he did was fucked up and criminal. It took a bit of time to let myself feel anger because society places blame squarely on the woman even when you're a girl. All that BS about girls wanting the attention or dressing for sex is misogyny in it's purest form. In our darkest moments, family and friends can be the cruelest. Ultimately, I had to accept that I was on my own and had to heal myself.</p> <p>I wanted to be happy and, more specifically, I wanted to have great sex...fun...orgasms...share pleasure with good people. I wasn't going to let anyone take my sex life away from me. My anger and refusal to be limited by his deviance is why I'm here at D&amp;R, running workshops with Betty, and helping other women overcome shame and guilt. Once we find our way, it's incumbant on each of us to shephard other women along the path.</p> <p><strong>You're Not Damaged Goods.</strong></p> <p>Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped from her bedroom when she was 14 years old. She was held captive a few miles from her family home, raped repeatedly, but didn't try to run away when she had the chance because she believed she was "damaged goods". In her abstinance-only sex ed class, her teacher had described how girls who had sex before marriage where like chewed up pieces of gum that no one would want. Today, Elizabeth is married with a family and tours the country lecturing against abstinence-only sex ed curriculum and the damaging effect it has on young girls.</p> <p><strong>The Slut Stigma is BS.</strong></p> <p>Our obsession with female chastity and refusal to acknowledge women as sexual beings perpetuates our cultural fascination with young girls and non-consensual sex. All good girls say no at first = rape culture plain and simple. And if I read one more news headline about some grose middle-aged man kidnapping and impregnating a teen girl, I'm going to throw up. The slut stigma has to go. I will express my sexuality without shame and support my sisters to do the same...we are not competing. We are allies.</p> <p>Women and girls are more than their body parts. We are more than our sexual encounters. I've had a ton of consensual sex and I had no problem falling in love and becoming a mother with a partner who respected me and valued my experience. If we could only stop defining sex as an act of male dominance, we could save future generations of women so much pain.</p> <p>Our sexuality is divine. Orgasms should be shared, not taken or given. Woman must be free to say yes and to say no.</p> <p><strong>Self Love is the First Step.</strong></p> <p>When we've experience pain, it's hard to forget. Certain images or scenarios in films would trigger me. I liked kissing but, when things went further, I either froze or jumped right in to prove that I wasn't fucked up. In the end, partner sex left me feeling numb. Betty and I hear this alot from women writing into D&amp;R - after a sexual assault or a sexless marriage women just don't "feel any pleasure anymore". Disassociating from our bodies and our orgasm is a coping mechanism.</p> <p>Sometimes when our body leads our mind and heart follow. This is why conscious masturbation is critical to accepting pleasure into our lives. I didn't feel like touching my body. I didn't feel like having an orgasm but I pushed myself to do it 1-2 times a week. I picked up the magic wand, a small dildo, and some natural oil lubricant. I would lie on my back and lube up my clitoris...when I had any negative thought I would imagine pulling that thought out of my head, placing it in a box, and closing the lid. It took about a year but eventually I could touch myself without feeling any guilt or shame. Orgasm wasn't my goal. My goal was to "feel the good feelings" (Betty Dodson).</p> <p>I realized that I really liked penetration, especially when I controlled it. There was one night when I came home for a night on the town and decided to kick off a 3-hour self love session. I was dancing around my room in candlelight looking at my body in the mirrors that hung over my dresser and on the front of my closet door, as I orgasmed. It was pure pleasure without the pressure of pleasing a partner or feeling judged for my sexual expression.</p> <p>This is when I really started fantasizing. I would imagine having sex with all sorts of undesirable people. I allowed my mind to follow my clit, nothing was too far. It was a beautiful journey where nothing was taboo and I was free to explore the nastiest fantasy I could conjure. My favorite fantasy was angel rape, a whole Sodom and Gomora scene planted in my subconscious by my Christian fundamentalist background.</p> <p>It was then that I knew I had the necessary foundation of self love to move forward to orgasmic sex with partners.</p> <p>**circles of women are powerful, healing spaces. If Betty was running Bodysex workshops back then, I would have signed up for a group as part of my self love process. Sharing my truth first person, displaying my vulva and sharing my orgasm with other supportive women continues my healing today. I don't know how long it would have taken me to get my vagina back and feel sexual again after the birth of my son if I hadn't run 3 groups pregnant and 3 groups right after his birth.</p> <p><strong>Sex On Your Terms.</strong></p> <p>I was married at 20, entered law school at 22, and divorced at 28. My casual sex days didn't start until I was well into my 30's. When Betty and I compared notes, we realized that neither of us had casual sex in our teens or in college. We were too focused on our education and training - our careers - and masturbation was our mainstay. We feel that young women should experiment with their bodies and, if they're straight, reserve penetrative, penis/vagina sex for later when they know how to give themselves an orgasm, communicate that to a partner and access birth control and abortion (because nothing is 100%). Learning to state your pleasure takes time.</p> <p>I wouldn't trade anything for the sex I had in my thirties. I'd banished guilt and shame. I'd masturbated round the clock and my clit was primed.</p> <p><strong>Fuck for Fun.</strong></p> <p>I had sex with anyone I wanted....on my terms. That meant that I was on top - I controlled penetration - I stimulated my clitoris during sex, toys were always present, and I left when I wanted to regardless of their feelings. Yes, I had relationships but I was rarely monogamous. Looking back on it, I'm proud that I put myself first. The most feminist thing you can do is fuck for fun. When sex isn't about finding a soulmate or starting a family, it can be pretty hot. Pleasure for the sake of pleasure alone is the ultimate in self love.</p> <p>For me, it came down to one simple choice. I refuse to be manipulated and controlled on any level. When I read high-profile mommy bloggers talk about living their lives without pleasure for the sake of the family, I cringe. How did womankind get to a place where feeling good is wrong, or too much to ask? When I put myself first, I'm a better wife and mother. Orgasm is the source of my creative energy and, when I have regular orgasms, I'm happier - I have more to give the world. It may sound over-the-top but I believe that if all women were orgasmic we could heal the planet in one generation because we're the mothers.</p> <p><strong>Orgasm is the Grounding. </strong></p> <p>Giving birth, living in a sexless marriage, walking around with a vagina - we experience trauma every day. The beautiful thing about being a woman is that we have the keys to happiness and healing right between our legs: the clitoris. We have an organ that exists solely for pleasure and, at any moment, we can lube up our fingers, reach down, and stimulate ourselves to orgasm. God, if men had clits, there would be no war.</p> <p>It feels like the tide is turning, that things are going to open up for women in new ways. I hope that we'll let orgasm be our guide and unleash the true potential of womankind. Connecting to my sexual power with regular orgasms heals everyone around me. When I masturbate, I imagine releasing that positive energy into the universe for Grayson. I want more for him and I can manifest that through pleasure.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/701" hreflang="en">feminism</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/686" hreflang="en">masturbation</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/631" hreflang="en">orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/666" hreflang="en">pleasure empowers</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 31 Dec 2017 20:14:03 +0000 Carlin Ross 236 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin-ross/2017/12/trauma-orgasms#comments My Journey Past Trauma to Pleasure https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/my-journey-past-trauma-pleasure <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">My Journey Past Trauma to Pleasure</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/82626" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Morgan Frances</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2023-08-23T16:05:37+00:00" title="Wednesday, August 23, 2023 - 16:05" class="datetime">Wed, 08/23/2023 - 16:05</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2023-08/menla.1.jpeg.webp?itok=Q9qJweBH" width="1024" height="431" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p dir="ltr">I have a small jar of ashes on my hallway table – the first thing I see when I walk through my door. They belong to our founder, creator of Bodysex®, “mother of masturbation,” Dr. Betty Dodson®.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">They are a gift from Carlin Ross to the Bodysex Leaders when we complete our certification. The ashes are deeply meaningful to all of us, for all of our individual reasons.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">For me, they represent how I got to rise from my ashes, to receive the gift of hers…</p> <p dir="ltr">–</p> <p dir="ltr">Over a decade ago (my early 20s), when I was still in deep emotional darkness about my incestuous sexual abuse, I would go to therapist and psychiatrists, some of whom were written up in major metropolitan cities as the best in the area, and I would share that I thought something was wrong with me.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">I shared that I simply couldn’t connect to myself sexually the way my peers seem to be able to, and more importantly to myself the way that I intuitively knew I could or should be able to.</p> <p dir="ltr">The responses I received ranged from the reductive and dismissive – “just buy a dildo” – to an alarmist catastrophic order to immediately increase the dosage of medications, group treatments and therapies – all very expensive – focused on rehashing past terrors with fellow women.</p> <p dir="ltr">*I’m respectfully not using the word “victim” here because women are too strong for that.</p> <p dir="ltr">I’m also not using the word “survivor” because of course we survived. We’ve been doing it for ages. Unfortunately, our abuse is “normal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">It wasn’t until my thirties that I found what I needed.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">I encountered it at 33 years old, May 2020, virtually walking into my first Bodysex® session with Carlin.</p> <p dir="ltr">I immediately felt the power of both her and Betty’s real world knowledge, generosity, and life experiences. I felt their years of time spent connecting directly with women as women (not as survivors of sexual torture, or victims of men, or sufferers in a darkly repressed world.) In my session with her, I was seen, heard,&nbsp;normal, and ready for the solution that I previously could not find anywhere.</p> <p dir="ltr">All along, the solution was simple.&nbsp;</p> <ol> <li dir="ltr">teach basic, accurate, information (education)</li> <li dir="ltr">provide supportive, loving community (sisterhood)</li> <li dir="ltr">prioritize practice (masturbation, personal investment of time, energy, money)</li> <li dir="ltr">allow imagination (fantasy)</li> </ol> <p dir="ltr">Now that I’m better educated about my own body and sexual framework, I know I had tiny tension orgasms throughout my life. Prior to my work with Carlin as a Bodysex client, I would have said I had never had one.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">A major healing point for me was the acknowledgement that I was normal, not in spite of or despite my sexual past, but quite literally because of it.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">When over half the population, both men and women, experience some form of sexual violation, it is normal. No woman lives in a sexually free society, in a body that isn’t a constant target, or in a world where we don’t absorb the decades, generations, millenia of sexual violence.</p> <p dir="ltr">–</p> <p dir="ltr">How do we handle this normality?&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">To me, Bodysex® is a sisterhood that is “neither burdened nor blind.”&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">We come together as sisters to heal and transform the world around us, starting with ourselves. We get to be in the future together, not the past alone. We get to give to each other what the world does not provide by default – a safe and harmonious space to create, be free, explore sexuality, reclaim our bodies and ultimately, experience the life saving grace, beauty, joy and fun, of pleasure, in all of its forms.</p> <p dir="ltr">I see we have two choices as we grow up and older: remain disconnected from our bodies and sexual selves, or reintegrate. Remaining disconnected is infinite suffering. Reintegrating is a finite pain.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">As a fellow thriver, I’m here to share: The only way out is through the pain.</p> <p dir="ltr">The good news is: we can do it. We’re strong enough. We’re the strongest beings in the world, if not physically in all cases, then certainly mentally, emotionally, energetically and of course, sexually.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">Our own wells of sexual energy will fill us and heal us. Our Bodysex sisterhood supports us. Like a cast until we’re ready to break free again.</p> <p dir="ltr">This is the power of Bodysex and sisterhood. A safe, sex-positive, accepting, holistic space to heal and mend and walk through the deep joys and pains of healing.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">We provide education based on the female sexual response system so you don’t have to continue to carry shame about not being able to “achieve” or “perform” or “get there.” It’s not about that. It’s about self-love, self-pleasure, self-care, health, and full self-expression. Are orgasms a part of that? Of course. But it’s not the only part and it’s certainly not the end game.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">What if we can’t have orgasms yet? No problem. We’ll teach you, and not a minute too soon, because we will respect your body, your healing, your mental and emotional health, and we’ll celebrate your orgasm’s perfect timeline. There’s no rush now or ever. We’ll give you all the time you need.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">We’re here for&nbsp;you&nbsp;this time, instead of the other way around.</p> <p dir="ltr">We focus on want&nbsp;you&nbsp;want, and&nbsp;your&nbsp;pleasure in whatever form that takes. Your pleasure could be a walk in the park, a hot shower, a massage, an ice cream, the sun on your skin, self-love, masturbation, and orgasm or…&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">We start from a gentle place of self-love and walk courageously into greater experiences of pleasure. With gratitude and acceptance for all of its forms.</p> <p>We don’t focus on our pain, even though we give it space to exist, without resistance. We don’t focus on the past, or what happened, or the other people or persons involved. It happened and we can’t change that. Focusing backwards often brings us only more suffering and gets us back into our heads instead of our bodies. There are, of course, incredible therapists and psychiatrists, doctors and healers who work with us psychologically, but Bodysex® is here for your pleasure. We are here for you, and for each other.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">We validate each other. We believe each other. We See each other. We Hear each other. And for many of us, we exist, authentically, for the first time, in another’s presence, together. We see each other’s complete Selves without rejection, judgment, fear, or shame. We hold the space for you to see yourself.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">–</p> <p dir="ltr">I think about my own experiences walking through all the challenges described above, and I&nbsp; can’t not think of the phoenix rising.&nbsp;</p> <p dir="ltr">Of each one of us walking through the fire to emerge victorious and stronger, more agile and powerful than ever before. Ready to share the baton of courage and strength wider and further. The flame grows more potent with each transformation occurring. The sun getting brighter.&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bodysex" hreflang="en">Bodysex</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/896" hreflang="en">self love</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Wed, 23 Aug 2023 16:05:37 +0000 Morgan Frances 8182 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/my-journey-past-trauma-pleasure#comments Making Time for Pleasure is the Hardest Part of Becoming Orgasmic https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/making-time-pleasure-hardest-part-becoming-orgasmic <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Making Time for Pleasure is the Hardest Part of Becoming Orgasmic</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/106" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Carlin Ross</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2023-04-23T16:14:49+00:00" title="Sunday, April 23, 2023 - 16:14" class="datetime">Sun, 04/23/2023 - 16:14</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2023-04/img_0292_0.jpeg.webp?itok=N9Maj3PR" width="2291" height="1610" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p><span><span>“You have the most sophisticated sex organ on the planet capable of endless pleasure that never ages”.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>I repeat this mantra in workshops, private sessions, and all our videos.&nbsp; And, when the words escape my lips, I see the same look of disbelief flood the face of every woman sitting across from me.&nbsp; How can this be?&nbsp; If it were true, then why can’t I connect to pleasure and have a fucking orgasm?&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>I’ve never worked with a woman who blamed anyone but themselves for their inability to orgasm on command after 5 minutes of stimulation.&nbsp; The common refrain: “I’m broken….it takes me so long…I just can’t surrender”.&nbsp; Channeling my inner Betty – its all crap.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>Pleasure evades us for two interwoven reasons: our bodies are not our own and our time isn’t either.&nbsp; I believe in one truth: absolute dominion over one’s body.&nbsp; We have the right to spend an hour touching ourselves in complete solitude to fully know ourselves.&nbsp; Betty divined that – she hit her stride at 40 when she went within by fully discovering herself through orgasm.&nbsp; My favorite chapter in her memoir is “Celibate Priestess”.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>After exploring the orgy scene during the Sexual Revolution, Betty decided to only have sex with herself.&nbsp; On Saturday nights, she would set up her living room with candles and mirrors – all her implements of pleasure and dance, vibrate, touch, and view her body for hours.&nbsp; This is how she developed her masturbation techniques like the Rock n Roll.&nbsp; She was the source of her sexual arousal.&nbsp; And what an amazing concept: I can go within and create sex energy anytime I want on my own terms.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>Maybe women struggle with desire because we’re conditioned to look outward for arousal and love.&nbsp; Maybe it can be as simple as looking inward for validation.&nbsp; Maybe this socially created need for acceptance is what undermines our relationships as well as our orgasm.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>No one suffers under the weight of the Protestant work ethic like women.&nbsp; We multitask round the clock – running businesses with a baby on our hip throwing a quiche in the oven.&nbsp; Our time belongs to the family and to the culture….and our time is not monetized or valued.&nbsp; That’s demoralizing and creates this endless cycle of overachievement and repressed sexual energy.&nbsp; This manifests as pain in our vulvas, migraines, <span><span>Lichen sclerosus, painful penetration, inability to orgasm during partner sex</span></span>…dare I say hysteria.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>Orgasm takes time.&nbsp; On average, women need 14 minutes of stimulation to have their first orgasm and 28 minutes to have a full-body orgasm.&nbsp; We need practice to discover our preferences.&nbsp; There are so many erogenous zones on the vulva – so many different ways to stimulate our internal clitoris that it is a process of trial and error.&nbsp; We need time to explore and try things out without a ticking clock.&nbsp; We need privacy.&nbsp; We need to believe that our bodies exist for our pleasure and our pleasure alone.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>That starts with touch on a regular basis as children.&nbsp; Respect for our sexual development requires privacy and non-judgment.&nbsp; We need to learn about the diversity of vulvas and the complexity of the female model of sexual response – most importantly, how different it is than the male model of sexual response.&nbsp; We need the time and space to connect to our bodies without the pressure of the male gaze and the endless pursuit of beauty.&nbsp; Our connection to the body is the source of our self-esteem.&nbsp; This empowers us to prioritize our pleasure and run the fuck when we move forward to partner sex.</span></span></p> <p><span><span>How many pointless Netflix episodes did you watch during lockdown?&nbsp; Wouldn’t you have benefited more from stroking your vulva and seeing how much pleasure you can experience, how far you can take your body.&nbsp; That is the ultimate self-knowledge and, if men could have multiple orgasms, they’d never leave the house.</span></span></p> <p><span><span>Whether you believe we were created or evolved - we have the most sophisticated sex organ on the planet capable of endless pleasure that never ages - that tells me that pleasure is important, it serves a purpose.&nbsp; As women, we must believe this to fully connect to the sensations in our bodies.&nbsp; We must come from abundance. &nbsp;</span></span></p> <p><span><span>Orgasm is a reflex.&nbsp; If I stimulate my body in the right way for the right amount of time, I will have an orgasm.&nbsp; For me, orgasm is a coping skill – a way to push out all the stress and trauma of life out of my central nervous system.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>You are enough.&nbsp; Know that every time you reach down and touch your vulva, you’re chipping away at the layers of shame that hold us back.&nbsp; There’s no bigger fuck you to the patriarchy then touching our bodies simply because it feels good. Creating a daily ritual of touch is enough to start your journey to orgasm.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>Making time for pleasure is absolutely the hardest part of becoming orgasmic.&nbsp; This is why Bodysex works.</span></span><span><span>&nbsp; We’ve dedicated time to pursue pleasure with the supportive energy of an orgasmic women guiding us to ourselves.&nbsp; If I pull my hand away from my vulva or question how long it’s taking or get in my head, I’m reminded to keep going.&nbsp; My guide is watching my body and noting how I respond to different types of stimulation.&nbsp; She is supporting my pleasure by keeping me going - teaching me how to stimulate my body according to my preferences.&nbsp; </span></span></p> <p><span><span>I’m hosting two in-person Bodysex workshops this upcoming June 12-15 and June 16-19. &nbsp;Click this link for more information:&nbsp; <a href="https://bodysex.com/workshop-retreat/">https://bodysex.com/workshop-retreat/</a></span></span></p> <p><span><span>And here are some guided audio podcasts to get your started: </span></span></p> <p><a href="https://soundcloud.com/bettydodson/body-meditation?utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing">https://soundcloud.com/bettydodson/body-meditation?utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing</a></p> <p><a href="https://soundcloud.com/bettydodson/vulva-massage?utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing">https://soundcloud.com/bettydodson/vulva-massage?utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing</a></p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bodysex" hreflang="en">Bodysex</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/creating-sexual-desire" hreflang="en">Creating Sexual Desire</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/631" hreflang="en">orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/896" hreflang="en">self love</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/671" hreflang="en">self pleasure</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 23 Apr 2023 16:14:49 +0000 Carlin Ross 8176 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/making-time-pleasure-hardest-part-becoming-orgasmic#comments Podcast: Body Meditation https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/podcast-body-meditation <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Podcast: Body Meditation</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/106" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Carlin Ross</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2022-08-01T21:15:10+00:00" title="Monday, August 1, 2022 - 21:15" class="datetime">Mon, 08/01/2022 - 21:15</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2022-08/untitled.jpg.webp?itok=6IEYk5LT" width="640" height="411" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Touching our body and feeling gratitude is the first step to becoming orgasmic. This podcast is for women who hit resistance with vulva massage. Simply running our hands over our body and hugging our vulvas can be enough.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-podcast--default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-podcast.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-podcast paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-podcast-code--atom-podcast.html.twig x field--paragraph--field-atom-podcast-code.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-podcast.html.twig * field--field-atom-podcast-code.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--paragraph--field-atom-podcast-code.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-atom-podcast-code field--type-string field--label-above"> <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1316024743&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true"></iframe> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--paragraph--field-atom-podcast-code.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bodysex" hreflang="en">Bodysex</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/creating-sexual-desire" hreflang="en">Creating Sexual Desire</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/896" hreflang="en">self love</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Mon, 01 Aug 2022 21:15:10 +0000 Carlin Ross 8116 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/podcast-body-meditation#comments The Pleasure is Ours https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/pleasure-ours <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">The Pleasure is Ours</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/106" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Carlin Ross</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2020-01-28T22:01:11+00:00" title="Tuesday, January 28, 2020 - 22:01" class="datetime">Tue, 01/28/2020 - 22:01</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2020-01/betty_dodson_and_carlin_ross_attend_the_goop_lab_special_screeni_1468986.jpg.webp?itok=XtnX28dz" width="640" height="399" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>I can't describe how it feels to watch yourself display your vulva and orgasm on a theatre screen the night before its released on an international media platform like Netflix.&nbsp; It was surreal and amazing.&nbsp; I've never been more proud of Betty and me, our work, our Bodysex leaders or womankind.&nbsp; I love you all.</p> <p>There hasn't been one negative piece of press.&nbsp; In fact, our episode The Pleasure is Ours has only been described with the most glowing terms.&nbsp; And then there's "The Dodson".&nbsp; She is finally being recognized for the true revolutionary that she is...here are my favorite press moments:</p> <p><a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/01/9295049/betty-dodson-method-masturbation-orgasm-goop-lab-episode-3">Refinery 29</a> on the Orgasm Scene:</p> <blockquote> <p>After discussing sexual shame and the variety of vulvas, Dodson and Ross get into the nitty-gritty of the Betty Dodson Method. It involves oil-based lubricant, a weighted dildo for vaginal penetration, a&nbsp;<a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/best-wand-vibrator-massagers">Magic Wand vibrator</a>&nbsp;for clitoral stimulation, deep breathing techniques, and a rocking movement Dodson calls the “Rock’n’Roll.” The episode shows Ross demonstrating the method on herself, being coached by Dodson —&nbsp;and it ends with her orgasm.</p> <p>For her part, Ross is thrilled that&nbsp;<em>the Goop Lab</em>&nbsp;will help Dodson’s work will reach a new audience. “Betty is 90 years old, and she’s been carrying this flag for 50 years,” Ross tells Refinery29. “When she did this stuff in the ‘70s, the words 'masturbation' and 'clitoris' trended with the release of her feminist classic,&nbsp;<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Liberating-masturbation-meditation-self-love/dp/B0006W606K">Liberating Masturbation</a></em>. Before that, we didn't have words for this stuff. It’s been so gratifying to sit next to Betty and see her work finally get social acceptance and go mainstream.”</p> <p>Netflix has a global audience, she adds, and “in my mind, I’m imagining young women all over the world watching this. Would I have made different choices in my 20s, if I’d realized my body was normal and known how to give myself an orgasm, and known that everything was okay and I was supported?” she asks. “Probably!”</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2020/1/17/21066923/gwyneth-paltrow-goop-lab-netflix-review">Vox</a> on vulvas:</p> <blockquote> <p>In the episode, called “The Pleasure Is Ours,” we meet&nbsp;<a href="https://www.dodsonandross.com/">feminist sex educators Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross</a>, who have coached thousands of women on orgasms. One Goop staff member participates in their workshop, while others take a crash course in body positivity, learning to celebrate their sexuality in ways that are meaningful to them, not just their partners.</p> <p>Along the way, Dodson and Ross extol messages about the need for women to understand their own bodies, and explain the crucial difference between the vulva and vagina. (The vulva is&nbsp;<a href="https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/8/7/20694794/vagina-bible-jen-gunter-ob-gyn-feminist">external — the part you can easily see; the vagina is the internal</a>&nbsp;part, where a tampon might go.)</p> <p>In a scene showing a series of vulvas in many different shapes and sizes, we get a genuinely educational look at women’s anatomy. And these are the vulvas of real women, not just the touched up, pink ones showcased in pornography. The point is that there’s lots of variation, and no single ideal form.</p> <p>The, er, climax, though, comes later — when Dodson coaches Ross through achieving an on-camera orgasm. It’s provocative, and potentially groundbreaking, television. And for a brand that has promoted&nbsp;<a href="https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/news/a36256/gwyneth-paltrow-goop-dildo/">$15,000 dildos</a>, the episode is framed in a surprisingly sensitive manner. Instead of telling women to steam clean and insert foreign objects into their lady bits to make them better, it emphasizes the message that vulvas and vaginas are great, just the way they are.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/02/03/the-magical-thinking-of-the-goop-lab">The New Yorker</a> on Betty's amazingness:</p> <blockquote> <p>And yet, when “The Goop Lab” winks at its own absurdity viewers are in more danger of being entertained, even moved. “The Pleasure Is Ours,” an episode about female orgasms, is great TV and genuinely educational, largely thanks to the charismatic and rightly militant ninety-year-old sex educator Betty Dodson, who, since the seventies, has led group workshops for women determined to find sexual satisfaction, in which she requires that they study their own and one another’s vulvae. (“We used to say that a woman had to learn how to ‘run the fuck,’&nbsp;” she says.)</p> <p>The episode comes with its own exposure therapy, in the form of a montage of photographs featuring vulvae. Later, Dodson assists a colleague as she demonstrates the “rock and roll” masturbation technique. I’d never seen a woman coming to orgasm filmed that way, with such lack of fetishism. For a moment, I was thoroughly Gooped.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/119125042/the-goop-lab-episode-that-managed-to-win-over-an-actual-gynaecologist">Stuff </a>on how our episode won over an "actual gynecologist":</p> <blockquote> <p>The episode features 90-year-old sex educator&nbsp;Betty Dodson and her business partner Carlin Ross, who begin&nbsp;by schooling Paltrow on the difference between a vagina and a vulva.</p> <p>"The vagina is the birth canal only," Dodson explains.</p> <p>"You want to talk about the vulva, which is the clitoris and the inner lips and all that good s... around it."</p> <p>A series of photos of real women's vulvas are later shown as part of a "genital show-and-tell" session.&nbsp;</p> <p>Smart said in her own practice, she&nbsp;often used resources&nbsp;like the "Labia Library" to dispel common myths about female anatomy, and praised Paltrow's show for employing a similar tactic.</p> <p>"We're seeing a rise in women seeking cosmetic revision of their labia, wanting to change the shape or size of what is essentially normal genital anatomy," she said.</p> <p>"Often all they need is reassurance. I thought it was really good to show the wide variation in labial appearances."</p> <p>Dr Olivia Smart was "pleasantly surprised" by the female pleasure episode of The Goop Lab.</p> <p>Another groundbreaking moment sees Dodson&nbsp;explain her&nbsp;"rock and roll" orgasm technique, with Ross giving a demonstration — and achieving&nbsp;an on-camera climax.</p> <p>"Some people may feel shocked or affronted by seeing female orgasm on television," Smart said.&nbsp;</p> <p>"But it challenges the status quo and it brings down the walls and the stigma that's associated with it."</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.thecut.com/2020/01/the-goop-lab-with-gwyneth-paltrow-betty-dodson-does-right-by-vaginas.html">The Cut</a> (my favorite so far) on the educational value of our episode:</p> <blockquote> <p>The advice offered in the episode is simple and practical; it’s designed to reduce shame and maximize pleasure. Dodson and Ross describe how to use your breath and pelvic muscles to have a better orgasm, and talk about how to ask for what you want during sex. They encourage women to get familiar with their own anatomy, describe different kinds of orgasms and how to attain them, and discuss the myth that they can be achieved without effort.</p> <p>And there are parts of the episode that feel remarkable. There’s a montage of high-definition images of vulvae in a wealth of shapes, colors, and sizes, and a scene of Ross studying her own vulva in a mirror, under Dodson’s supervision. On camera, Ross points to its various parts: the clitoral hood, the clitoris, the glands. “That’s where it’s all taking place, kid,” Dodson drawls.</p> <p>I wouldn’t recommend watching it on the train, but at no point does the episode feel porny, nor does it suffer from the embarrassment of traditional sex ed. Instead, it’s grounded and completely devoid of fetishization, including the scene where Dodson assists Ross as she demonstrates her “rock and roll” masturbation technique until she comes to orgasm onscreen.</p> <p>The show does right by vaginas, for perhaps the first time since Goop’s inception. And unlike the usual Goop fare, after watching, I came away feeling better informed than when I first sat down, particularly when it comes to&nbsp;— as Dodson puts it — “running the fuck.”</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2020-02-01/the-goop-lab-health-claims-review-gwyneth-paltrow-review/11910770">ABC News</a> on how our episode "shines on women's health":</p> <blockquote> <p>The success of this episode is, in large part, thanks to Betty Dodson, a 90-year-old feminist sex educator and her colleague, Carlin Ross, who run workshops that aim to empower women with knowledge about their bodies.</p> <p>Dodson notes that many women feel shame or embarrassment when it comes to sex, and most of the episode is spent trying to counter this.</p> <p>We get a rare and welcome glimpse of diverse, naked female bodies of all ages, and, more radically, a montage of vulvas, to demonstrate the diversity of female genitalia.</p> <p>There are discussions about how porn has created unrealistic expectations about sexuality, and how women are increasingly&nbsp;<a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-07/why-women-have-cosmetic-surgery-on-their-vulva/8878952">turning to cosmetic surgery to change the appearance of their genitals</a>.</p> <p>The episode culminates in Dodson coaching Ross to achieve an on-camera orgasm, in a way that is educational, realistic, and not fetishised.</p> <p>The whole approach is unabashed, yet sensitive, and feels genuinely refreshing. It left me wishing Goop would do this all the time: promote the message that&nbsp;<a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2019-05-25/vaginal-discharge-is-healthy-feminine-hygiene-products-are-not/11144308">vaginas and vulvas are great just as they are</a>.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.vulture.com/2020/01/the-goop-lab-netflix-real-orgasm.html">Vulture </a>on how we filmed my real orgasm:&nbsp;</p> <blockquote> <p>While she masturbated, Ross said the room was pin-drop silent. They shot the scene in one take. “Everyone was really watching. Not watching like when you feel leered at when you’re walking down the street and you feel that up and down. It was a real kind of respect and curiosity,” she said. When Ross finished — it took about ten minutes for her to reach orgasm — the entire room applauded. Ross laughed and said she’d entirely forgotten when I asked her what hearing that felt like; the day had been very draining for her. “Afterward, I was done. I’ve had an orgasm after tequila. I put on my clothes and said, ‘I’m sorry, but I’m going to bail. I love you all, but it’s bedtime.’” Dodson, meanwhile, smoked a cigarette.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-gwyneth-paltrow-turned-a-90-year-old-orgasm-coach-into-a-tv-star-7xxkshnlb">The London Times</a> on Betty's new found "tv star" status and the birth of Bodysex:</p> <blockquote> <p>From those casual, organic, orgiastic groupings grew the idea for the BodySex workshops, which she sees as “totally” a feminist act, although different from those of other, contemporary “very conservative” feminists, such as her old friend Gloria Steinem. “It was all, ‘We want change, but we don’t want to upset anyone, we don’t want to rock the boat too much.’ Dodson sighs. “You’ve just gotta go out there and make a mess.”</p> </blockquote> <p>The Huff Post with the ultimate title: <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/betty-dodson-goop-orgasm_n_5e3c34d0c5b6bb0ffc0cb471">"Carlin Ross Wants You to Have an Orgasm so She Gave Herself One on TV"</a></p> <blockquote> <p>When they showed my vulva on the big screen at the premiere of the episode, I grabbed Betty’s hand and was like, ‘It’s so big!’ But then you laugh and go, is it such a big deal? You go into the Met and there are penises on every statue, penises everywhere. Everyone’s sending you unsolicited dick pics. It’s like, ‘Was it so crazy over-the-top?’ It was, but it shouldn’t be.</p> </blockquote> <p>Thank you for all your support - it feels like we're on the verge of a major feminist transition. We need to make tees that say "Run the Fuck" - Betty Dodson.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bodysex" hreflang="en">Bodysex</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bettys-rock-n-roll-orgasm-technique" hreflang="en">Betty&#039;s Rock n Roll Orgasm Technique</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/press" hreflang="en">Press</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/691" hreflang="en">clitoris</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/661" hreflang="en">combination orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/731" hreflang="en">genital show and tell</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/976" hreflang="en">Goop</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/981" hreflang="en">Gwyneth Paltrow</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/636" hreflang="en">vulva</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'comment__field_blog_comments__blog' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * comment--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * comment--field-blog-comments.html.twig x comment.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/comment.html.twig' --> <article data-comment-user-id="3976" id="comment-226" about="/comment/226" typeof="schema:Comment" class="comment js-comment"> <mark class="hidden" data-comment-timestamp="1612451001"></mark> <footer class="comment__meta"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'user' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/user.html.twig' --> <article typeof="schema:Person" about="/user/3976" class="profile"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--user--field-display-name--user.html.twig * field--user--field-display-name.html.twig * field--user--user.html.twig * field--field-display-name.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--user--field-display-name--user.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-display-name field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>MartiB</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--user--field-display-name--user.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="masquerade.callbacks:renderCacheLink" arguments="0=3976" token="PWOukib56XZU2mKzJCDjKI4XLZbaRQQkkCRbqyo_EUs"></drupal-render-placeholder></article> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/user.html.twig' --> <p class="comment__submitted"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'rdf_wrapper' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/stable/templates/misc/rdf-wrapper.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author">Submitted by <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/3976" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">MartiB</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> on Thu, 11/05/2020 - 15:57</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/stable/templates/misc/rdf-wrapper.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'rdf_metadata' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/misc/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2020-11-05T15:57:53+00:00" class="rdf-meta hidden"></span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/misc/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> </p> <a href="/comment/226#comment-226" hreflang="en">Permalink</a> </footer> <div class="content"> <h3 property="schema:name" datatype=""><a href="/comment/226#comment-226" class="permalink" rel="bookmark" hreflang="en">Orgasm in Peace</a></h3> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderLinks" arguments="0=226&amp;1=default&amp;2=en&amp;3=" token="3Ss5tbuuy-LvwrOny9v3X13iTF5IKRGJuuz2ISq8vQk"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--comment--field-field-comment-body--comment.html.twig * field--comment--field-field-comment-body.html.twig * field--comment--comment.html.twig * field--field-field-comment-body.html.twig * field--string-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-field-comment-body field--type-string-long field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Comment</div> <div class="field__item">So sad when I learned Betty had left us. She will always be remembered and will live on through each and every orgasm I enjoy, as she would have wanted it.</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> </article> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'pager' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/navigation/pager.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/navigation/pager.html.twig' --> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Tue, 28 Jan 2020 22:01:11 +0000 Carlin Ross 7396 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/pleasure-ours#comments It’s Not About Feeling Better, It’s About Feeling More https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/its-not-about-feeling-better-its-about-feeling-more <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">It’s Not About Feeling Better, It’s About Feeling More</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/136" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Natasha</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2019-02-12T15:52:32+00:00" title="Tuesday, February 12, 2019 - 15:52" class="datetime">Tue, 02/12/2019 - 15:52</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2019-02/img_3932-1024x540.jpg.webp?itok=UNj4NeUb" width="640" height="338" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>She’s a woman in her 50’s,<br> lying naked on my bed masturbating.<br> Never having orgasmed before she’s come asking for help.<br> Sitting beside her I watch her body move as she touches herself,<br> clearly enjoying the pleasure.<br> The skin on her chest starts to flush<br> telling me she’s close to orgasm.<br> I wish I could capture this moment so she could see how beautiful she looks,<br> but I stay still, not wanting to disturb her.<br> As the flush on her chest begins to climb to her neck I notice her crease her brow.<br> Leaning forward I softly touch her face, guiding her to soften too.<br> “<em>I’m scared</em>” she says. “<em>I don’t know what it’s going to feel like</em>.”<br> “I<em>’m here with you</em>” I say. “<em>Your pleasure looks so beautiful on you.</em>”<br> She starts to cry and continues to masturbate,<br> the flush on her neck now covering the lower half of her face.<br> The sounds of her orgasm fill my room, followed by the sounds of her sobbing.<br> Smiling through my tears I think “<em>this is what half a century of release looks like</em>”&nbsp;and I’m grateful for the honour of being there with her.<span>&nbsp;</span></p> <p><strong><em>It’s not about feeling better, it’s about feeling more.</em></strong></p> <p>Sometimes I’m afraid to look<br> because I don’t want to see the<br> pain she holds tightly behind her eyes.<br> I fuss around her, caring for her in other ways<br> not quite trusting my own ability to cope with it.<br> Knowing that this isn’t right and that I can’t avoid it any longer,<br> I look — really look — feel her sadness, and begin to cry.<br> At the sight of my tears,<br> she turns away — not wanting to see my pain.<br> “<em>We can do this. I know we can</em>” I say to myself,<br> and I continue to look at her until she turns back to look at me.<br> Holding each other, we cry.<br> We <strong>are</strong> doing this.<span>&nbsp;</span></p> <p><strong><em>It’s not about feeling better, it’s about feeling more.</em></strong></p> <p>She’s sitting across from me in the circle<br> beginning to tell the story of her past trauma and pain.<br> As the words fall out of her mouth,<br> her chest heaves then collapses while her eyes plead with me to rescue her.<br> The woman beside her looks at me as well<br> motioning with her own eyes for me to do something.<br> My eyes lock with the woman sharing and<br> I reassure her — without words —that I’m here,<br> she’s a survivor and she doesn’t need rescuing.<br> We’re holding space for her.<br> Taking a deep breath in, and then out,<br> I watch her body slowly land on her exhale.<br> Her chest lifts and she continues her story.<span>&nbsp;</span></p> <p><strong><em>It’s not about feeling better, it’s about feeling more.<span>&nbsp;</span></em></strong></p> <p>I’m on my back lying under him,<br> our bodies moving and breathing together,<br> like a circle, in and out, around and around.<br> His eyes don’t leave mine and I wonder,&nbsp;for a second,<span>&nbsp;</span>if he ever blinks.<br> What does he see when he looks at me in my pleasure?<br> Is it okay?&nbsp;Am I okay?<br> I feel heat and energy rising from my vulva to my chest<br> and I breathe into it,<br> feeling full — over filled.<br> “<em>I’m going to cry</em>” I say embarrassed, “<em>but it’s not bad.</em>”<br> And I do. I cry through my pleasure while he holds me,<br> breathing in the air that I breathe out.<span>&nbsp;</span></p> <p><strong><em>It’s not about feeling better, it’s about feeling more.<span>&nbsp;</span></em></strong></p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/bodysex" hreflang="en">Bodysex</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/creating-sexual-desire" hreflang="en">Creating Sexual Desire</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/701" hreflang="en">feminism</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/686" hreflang="en">masturbation</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/666" hreflang="en">pleasure empowers</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:52:32 +0000 Natasha 7246 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/its-not-about-feeling-better-its-about-feeling-more#comments That is the Real Power of Pleasure -- It's Ours https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/real-power-pleasure-its-ours <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">That is the Real Power of Pleasure -- It&#039;s Ours</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/311" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lawrence Lanoff</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2019-01-20T17:16:18+00:00" title="Sunday, January 20, 2019 - 17:16" class="datetime">Sun, 01/20/2019 - 17:16</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2019-01/3graces.jpg.webp?itok=TvOjFtPP" width="640" height="338" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Talking about this with someone else is comforting. It’s the story of an unassuming religious, spiritual or adult elder, in a position of power, wielding that power for their personal sexual satisfaction, while pretending that nothing strange or inappropriate is happening at all.&nbsp; And that if we do call attention to what is happening, the elder looks at us as if we are sick, twisted, crazy for even speaking of such evil things. As if we are the ones doing something wrong.</p> <p>This experience I’m describing above was part and parcel to my young adult life. Growing up in NYC with a pot-smoking mom and a gambling-addicted dad, I had no adult supervision. The streets were my playground. The curb dirt, my yard. So adults, on a regular basis, had their way with me emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically. All the while, the supposed protectors in my life wandered by, making up stories to fit the realities inside their smoke-filled heads. And I alone was experiencing actual harshness of reality alone - in my little body.</p> <p>And, If you are a female-bodied human, you have probably dealt with this kind of thing for most of your life. Finding yourself in some strange position, with a person of power, who is directly or indirectly either fetishizing you or berating you, or doing both simultaneously, as they struggle to deal with their own repressed, disconnected sexual desires while projecting them out onto you and your body in the form of shame.</p> <p>Shame is the lever that makes all of this possible. It’s the lever the authority figure uses to fuck your mind.</p> <p>It happens every day. Our culture condones it. Yet we prefer not to discuss it explicitly. It’s better to pretend that there is no "monster in the closet.” But that’s because, if we see the monster in the closet, it threatens the delicate balance our entire religious belief systems that our world is so flimsily built upon.</p> <p>So, humans tend to be scared of seeing clearly. It’s too harsh. It doesn’t fit our moral mythologies about how life is "supposed to be." It doesn’t match what mommy and daddy or god or the Bible says about how it’s all supposed to work.</p> <p>Therefore, clarity goes against the moral codes of supposed religious leaders who hide in plain sight under cover of sanctified authority.</p> <p>I want to projectile vomit every time I see it.&nbsp; It’s not power that’s the problem for me: it’s the misuse of that power to fuck with a person's mind until her mind breaks, and she submits to the intend desires of the person in authority.&nbsp; It's a classic brainwashing effect.&nbsp; And more often than not, it has a sexual or financial implication. Or both. It happens in cults. It happens in religions. It occurs in spirituality. It happens in intimate relationships. And it happens because the person in power does not want to consider that they could be incorrect about their beliefs about reality. That they are wrong that "sex and desire must be overcome."</p> <p>For a myth buster like me, it’s a delicate line to walk. People are asleep at the wheel. And the gaslighting authority figures are either delusional or criminal. There seems to be nothing in between.</p> <p>Perhaps you personally know the kind of mind fuck I’m talking about.&nbsp; It’s the humiliating kind that, if you tried to talk to someone about it, the response would be, “oh, there’s no way that Bishop, boyfriend, father, boss X would do that. He’s a good man.”</p> <p>And now you are faced with a clarity/reality problem. Do you hold onto what you know is right in the face of what the mindfuckers are saying or doing? This is the question of basic sanity, and it’s as old as time. Because there is a consensus model about how the world views the situation (i.e., what, slut did YOU do deserve or instigate this behavior) and what you know that actually happened to you.&nbsp; The two roads can never meet because there’s no way these two worlds can both co-exist.&nbsp;</p> <p>And so, there comes a moment when we begin to question our reality, our sanity.&nbsp; It’s like everybody is sleepwalking and we are the only person awake, which makes us wonder if we are actually awake. This is a reality/clarity crossroads. How will we handle this? Is this really happening us? Or are we just “crazy?”&nbsp;</p> <p>For the longest time, I went with the group consensus. What I know actually happened to me and my body, I pretended didn’t occur to me and my body. And the abusers doing the abuse used their moral authority to try to break me.&nbsp;</p> <p>It’s really fucked up. And I've experienced it since I was 4 1/2 years old.</p> <p>However, there comes a moment. A moment of clarity. A moment of power. For me, it was the moment that I began to come to grips with the reality that my father openly and wantonly neglected and abandoned me to the wolves. These were not some isolated instances, but instead were a kind of systematic wearing me down towards some end that to this day I have yet to figure out.&nbsp;</p> <p>Or perhaps I did figure it out.</p> <p>Which leads me to this weeks an episode of "This American Life.” <a href="https://www.thisamericanlife.org/661/transcript"> https://www.thisamericanlife.org/661/transcript</a></p> <p>I can’t understand how, in listening to this program, we don’t just want to scream. To storm the Mormon church and just say “cut the bullshit folks - the jig is up. It’s over.” I don’t understand why we all keep “playing nice” at the abusive religious elder's requests. Why are we not losing our minds and demanding clarity?</p> <p>We hear, over and over, shining examples of people in power using that power to use and disempower/shame/guilt women into some form of submission. What the fuck is going on? Why do we let men and women shame us into submission? Gaslight us in plain sight, while we pretend there is “nothing going on.”&nbsp;</p> <p>Of course, it’s going on. It’s going on every day. I’m just not clear why we don’t call it out at a level of clarity that it deserves. Yes, It’s difficult to overcome a narcissistic gaslighter. I had to cut my father off entirely in order to regain control of my life.&nbsp;</p> <p>Yes, it's difficult to create a boundary based in clarity when the world is busily gaslighting us, but it's possible with some training. It’s just that our nation seems to run on the next level of gaslighting and delusional reality at the moment.</p> <p>The problem with the popular delusional, gaslighting reality is that it keeps us in our minds and not in our bodies. Because if we felt what was happening in our bodies, we would feel rage - the kind of mad rage that would strip delusion away and leave the person in “power” naked, vulnerable, revealed.</p> <p>And that’s a feeling that people in power are trying desperately to avoid. The sense of powerlessness. The feeling of egoic destruction. They most certainly don’t want to feel that in themselves, but they sadistically crave seeing other people feeling naked, vulnerable, broken.</p> <p>That’s the world we have inherited. Mind fuckers win. Until they don’t. Until you and I see what’s actually happening and stop capitulating to people in power who get off on gaslighting our reality. And the worst part is not what they do to us. The worst part is when we internalize this twisted reality and begin applying it to our own psyche, gaslighting ourselves.</p> <p>That’s when our inner sense of self disappears, and we care what others think or believe about us. That’s when we lose touch with who we are and what our own desires are.&nbsp;</p> <p>If you are a female-bodied human, and you have yet to traverse the ground of clarity, then internalized gaslighting is likely to be a regular experience.</p> <p>And this is precisely why I love pleasure.</p> <p>Freeing our bodies our sex, our orgasm, our pleasure allows us to see reality clearly. We embrace our desires. We communicate about our complicated wants and needs. We make requests of those around us to support our desire for clarity. And we set boundaries around our mind and well being. And if somebody tries to mind fuck that, they are out.</p> <p>That is the real power of pleasure -- It's ours. And most certainly, it’s not for those who try to fuck with our minds so they can extract energy from our bodies for their own pleasure -- while hiding behind their authority and personal shame about what they are actually doing to wreak havoc in people's lives.</p> <p>That internal and external gaslighting must stop. And the surest way to get that to end is for you to claim all of you. The beautiful and the despicable. The transcendent and the junkie in radical self-acceptance. Embracing it all. In that, there is power. There is power because there is clarity. And where there is clarity, there is a firm boundary.</p> <p>And we, as humans, need to feel the safe space of our own minds resting in the safety of clarity.</p> <p>Clarity is the boundary. Transparency is the power. Unleashing our own pleasure has the potential to give us that fierce clarity and self-empowerment.&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/631" hreflang="en">orgasm</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/666" hreflang="en">pleasure empowers</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Sun, 20 Jan 2019 17:16:18 +0000 Lawrence Lanoff 7241 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/real-power-pleasure-its-ours#comments Post-Abuse My Vagina is Chronically Tight & Dry https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/post-abuse-my-vagina-chronically-tight-dry <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Post-Abuse My Vagina is Chronically Tight &amp; Dry</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2018-08-30T13:26:48+00:00" title="Thursday, August 30, 2018 - 13:26" class="datetime">Thu, 08/30/2018 - 13:26</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/sketch_women4.jpg.webp?itok=fyL1mIWD" width="640" height="470" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Dear Betty,</p> <p>As a child and early teen I experienced sexual force by an adult repeatedly. I would squeeze my vagina very tight to prevent penetration. It only angered the adult and ultimately did not prevent him.</p> <p>As a result when I finally had sex with my someone in my age group as a young adult I cried. Many years later with grown children and I'm menopausal now I find if I am not active my vagina closes up. I have a partner now and after a long time of celibacy he re-opened me and it was very painful.</p> <p>He was trying to get next to me for 3 years and finally I opened my heart and now he only comes by for sex. Eventually, I will let him go for his lack of not wanting a mature relationship but for now I am enjoying the oral sex but the penetration is very painful after I dry inside, even though I use coconut oil and replenish moisturizer.</p> <p>He also takes forever to climax, well over 1 hour or 2. He is a martial artist and knows how to recycle his breath or something. I'm always torn and sore after sex and feeling a bit inadequate that I climax and he did not. I usually have to finish his climax by masturbating him.</p> <p>What helpful advise can you give. Thank you.</p> <p>Dear N,</p> <p>You are already doing the smart thing by giving him manual stimulation. Just do it first to get him close to coming and then let him penetrate your well oiled vagina. Coconut oil is too thin as is moisturizer. Either use Almond oil or even Vaseline to better coat your vaginal walls. The minuet you feel discomfort stop!</p> <p>Then take hold of his penis and masturbate him. Or do a few minuets of oral sex before shifting to your hand. His lucky to be getting laid and you must be in charge. Or when you are fucking, the minuet you feel dry or discomfort STOP. Either apply more lube or shift over to another form of stimulation for him.</p> <p>It's your body that's being penetrated and you MUST learn to "Run the fuck!"</p> <p>Dr Betty</p> <p>&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/creating-sexual-desire" hreflang="en">Creating Sexual Desire</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/your-vagina" hreflang="en">Your Vagina</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/pc-muscle-lubrication" hreflang="en">PC Muscle &amp; Lubrication</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/741" hreflang="en">vagina</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Thu, 30 Aug 2018 13:26:48 +0000 Betty Dodson 851 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/post-abuse-my-vagina-chronically-tight-dry#comments I Find Myself Repressing My Desire to be Sexual Because It's Not Proper https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-find-myself-repressing-my-desire-be-sexual-because-its-not-proper <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">I Find Myself Repressing My Desire to be Sexual Because It&#039;s Not Proper</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2018-08-24T12:27:58+00:00" title="Friday, August 24, 2018 - 12:27" class="datetime">Fri, 08/24/2018 - 12:27</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/eve_0.jpg.webp?itok=O32vYzA0" width="640" height="395" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Hi Betty,</p> <p>I'm 34 and have always had a healthy sex drive. I have had anonymous sex and I love it. I find myself repressing my desire to be sexual, because it's not "proper". I don't have sex regularly, because I do not have a partner. So, that leaves me quite frustrated.</p> <p>I want to give myself permission to have protected sex with as many men as I like, because I simply like sex. How do I move past the social norms and finally embrace who I am.</p> <p>Dear S,</p> <p>So go ahead and give yourself permission to have protected sex with as many men as you like. That's what I did and I've never regretted a moment after I knew how to handle contraception, was a trained martial artist who could handle myself if their was a physical conflict and I'd mastered the ability to "run the fuck" which meant getting what I wanted.</p> <p>I wouldn't recommend this to any woman who was a bottom looking for love everlasting. Read my sexual memoir where I tell all in living detail.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>&nbsp;</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/701" hreflang="en">feminism</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/666" hreflang="en">pleasure empowers</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Fri, 24 Aug 2018 12:27:58 +0000 Betty Dodson 3211 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-find-myself-repressing-my-desire-be-sexual-because-its-not-proper#comments I Feel Weird Fantasizing About Someone Else When I'm with My Spouse https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-feel-weird-fantasizing-about-someone-else-when-im-my-spouse <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">I Feel Weird Fantasizing About Someone Else When I&#039;m with My Spouse</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/121" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Betty Dodson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'time' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> <time datetime="2018-08-16T19:22:51+00:00" title="Thursday, August 16, 2018 - 19:22" class="datetime">Thu, 08/16/2018 - 19:22</time> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/time.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x links--node.html.twig x links--node.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/content/links--node.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-components--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-components.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-components.html.twig * field--entity-reference-revisions.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-components field--type-entity-reference-revisions field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--image--default.html.twig * paragraph--image.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--image paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-image--image.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-image.html.twig * field--paragraph--image.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_style' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/webp/public/2018-08/bettyart4.jpg.webp?itok=SjJ76quw" width="640" height="392" alt="" loading="lazy" typeof="foaf:Image" class="image-style-webp" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-style.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'paragraph' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary---default.html.twig * paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * paragraph--default.html.twig x paragraph.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--atom-rtf-with-summary- paragraph--view-mode--default"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--paragraph--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig * field--paragraph--atom-rtf-with-summary-.html.twig * field--field-atom-rtf-with-summary.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-field-atom-rtf-with-summary field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Thank you Betty and Carlin for all you do -</p> <p>I love and appreciate what I am learning from you. Part of embarking on my self discovery in upgrading my masturbation practice is to hopefully resurrect my long-term marriage from the sexual grave - indeed, the blind cannot lead the blind. My husband is a wonderfully supportive man and he wants to please me, but we are in a "mature" relationship and I struggle with being turned on by him. I used to come regularly with him early in our relationship (via penetration and indirect clit stim), but that faded away and I haven't come with him in several years - this has resulted in me feeling resentful about penetration.</p> <p>I get off fantasizing about someone else. I have tried fantasizing about the other person while with my husband so I can get excited, but it kind of backfires because that's not who I am with. I also feel weird thinking about someone else while with my spouse. Any advice?</p> <p>Dear C,</p> <p>It's an common story that most all couples go through. That business about "love everlasting" is a myth that ends after we get married. Very few couples can sustain monogamy within a marriage and have orgasms. That's why more than half end in divorce. Then the partners repeat the same pattern with the next marriage. If fantasizing someone else helps, then go for it. Or actually have an affair which will definitely change the dynamic instantly. Many women simply see fucking as foreplay for masturbation. Just know that you are not alone living in a marriage with little or no sexual pleasure. It's a bad deal for every one but society doesn't seem capable of coming up with other life-styles that would support the regular experience of orgasm.</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p> <p>Hi Dr. Betty,</p> <p>Thank you for the honest feedback; it’s exactly what I was looking for. It’s a tough balance honoring one’s own needs along with honoring the person who has in all honesty been an amazing life partner (and he cooks). I have proposed banning penetration for a while so I/ we can focus on pleasuring via manual and oral – which is way ok for him; in some ways I think he likes that more and I need to practice the skill set. Since I was raised to keep my sexuality at arms distance (like most women), even after 17 years of being with my spouse I am still not comfortable masturbating in front of him.</p> <p>Its ridiculous!!! He agrees!!! I feel like this is a really important barrier to work through, especially with someone who is so emotionally safe. If you are game to provide more advice, specifically on overcoming shame/embarrassment around masturbating in front of someone, I am all ears (practice, practice, practice, but any other tips?). Maybe it would be easier with a new person than with someone I am already conditioned not to be that open in front of?</p> <p>I wish I could have discovered you when I was teenager (I am 41), but then you wouldn’t have been selling the vaginal barbell yet!! BTW – your barbell is genius; between your instruction for upgrading my masturbation technique along with the barbell/ mystic wand, I am having the biggest orgasms since I was in my mid-twenties. Its the best dildo I could have asked for – only a woman could have created this.</p> <p>I also appreciate the instructional videos. For the first time - yesterday - I tried some anal play with the bootie butt plug (following your video). Definitely seemed to intensify orgasm, but I found it to be a little distracting – it’s a little uncomfortable unless I elevate my bottom so the bed isn’t placing pressure from behind and the flange is just a little long so it ends up getting the way when I use the barbell vaginally. It also stops things when I have to pull out the barbell, stop the vibrator, and then go on my side to play/ insert. I assume this is something I will get used to. The video on anal play was perfect to get me started – its exactly what I needed in the privacy of my own home. J</p> <p>Thanks again Dr. Betty. You are a rock star.</p> <p>Dear C,</p> <p>So glad you have found D&amp;R now! Whenever that happens, I figure that's when the time is right! You asked for more info on overcoming shame/embarrassment around masturbating in front of someone. Yes! I clearly remember how concerned I was. Afraid I'd look weird, sound strange or that he'd see I didn't really need him for an orgasm and that would be upsetting to him.</p> <p>In the end, it all boiled down to looking just too weird. So I watched myself masturbate standing up in front of a large oval mirror in my living room. I didn't look strange or weird, I looked physical and intense. I discovered it was quite appealing to watch someone so focused on her own pleasure. Give it a try.. . . .</p> <p>Dr. Betty</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/paragraphs/templates/paragraph.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-category.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <div class="articles__categories"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--card paragraph--view-mode--default simple-band transparent"> <div class="field__item"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--title paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="field field--name-field-title field--type-string field--label-hidden field__item">Mentions And Related Topics</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/fantasy" hreflang="en">Fantasy</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/articles/category/overcoming-shame-trauma" hreflang="en">Overcoming Shame &amp; Trauma</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--node--field-category--blog.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field__label">Cloud Tags</div> <div class="field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/796" hreflang="en">arousal</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/651" hreflang="en">ask dr betty</a></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-comments--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-comments.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-comments.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-hidden comment-wrapper"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/classy/templates/field/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig x field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig * field--boolean.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/dodson/templates/field/field--field-promote-to-popular-posts.html.twig' --> Thu, 16 Aug 2018 19:22:51 +0000 Betty Dodson 1856 at https://www.dodsonandross.com https://www.dodsonandross.com/articles/i-feel-weird-fantasizing-about-someone-else-when-im-my-spouse#comments