Intercourse

Hello Ms. Dodson,

I've turned 19 at the beginning of this month. About 3 weeks ago, I met this new girl. We haven't had sex yet, so this will be the best time for me to ask this...My penis size is of pretty good proportions. It's 7 1/2" long and almost 6" around. Would this size hurt the average woman during intercourse?

Hello, 

I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now, and we are starting to have sex. But for me it is not pleasurable and hurts a lot. The pain has nothing to do with not being lubricated enough, as we use a natural lubricant to help. Penetrative vaginal sex really hurts, and I feel no pleasure at all from it apart from an almost continuous pain. It is either painful, or just "comfortable" or "blank" but nothing better. I was wanting to know if there is any way I could possibly improve it.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 and female-bodied, currently dating a 20 year old male. With my current partner and past male partners, I've experienced a bizarre, unpleasant sensation during vaginal intercourse any time my partner's penis hits my cervix. I wouldn't describe it as painful, but definitely not a feeling that I enjoy. I've recently discovered that this is due to an unusually retroverted uterus - my gynecologist tells me that my uterus has not only an extreme backward tilt, but also sits distinctly to the left side of my body.

Here's part two of my first collaborative fantasy erotica writing between me and a big fan, "Claudia." For those of you who didnt read part one, here it is.

Then Eric's right hand came back around from my ass to my sex and went straight to my clit. I let go of her with my finger and his resumed. His finger brushed repeatedly against my already swollen clit as he said, “Pull your hood back”. It pushed the buttons of my submissive nature and made my vagina soak itself once again. I groaned a reply, eager to obey, and reached down under my skirt to pull my clitoral hood up and off my clitoral glans.

If you've been following my essays, you know that I was 11 years old when I received my first lesson from a tantric master.

Since that time I've been fascinated by the subject of sex, and what goes on in the brain that allows us to connect so deeply.

A long time ago, in a new age book store near Syracuse University, I discovered a dog eared, tantric sex book that really struck me. The exercises were simple, yet profound.

Dear Dr. Betty-

I know its a common problem, but my boyfriend just can't get me to orgasm. We have great sex, and foreplay and all that fun stuff. And it is fun! He goes down on me quite a lot- I'm one of the lucky ones who found a guy that genuinely enjoys going down on a women. But he still can't make me orgasm. Its getting very frustrating for both of us. He's never had this problem before, so I feel like I'm broken in some way. He's 26, and I'm 18. I know that younger women are less likely to orgasm, but when I masterbate I can generally pleasure myself alright. Do you have any advice, we're just so frustrated. He wants me to feel as good as he does when we make love, and I hate feeling broken. Please help!

 

I finally got Betty to talk about her private sessions. Turns out most women like the steady drummer.

Sexually speaking, I was a divided woman like many women today. Whenever I had sex with myself, I stimulated my clitoris directly, but when I had sex with a lover, I tried to come from his touch or vaginal penetration only. After a life-time of sexual activity with forty-some years of teaching sex, my position today is that we each need to be responsible for our own orgasms. Since our first natural sexual activity is masturbation, each individual has the best chance of knowing what feels good when it comes to touching your own sex organ.

Hi Betty,

I recently started having sex almost 2 months ago, the problem i have is that sometimes he will penetrate so hard that it feels like it is hitting my stomach, like a wall, and i thought that maybe if i relax it would start to feel good, but when i did relax i felt like i was going to faint. (not trying to brag here but my boyfriend has a big dick) is there something im doing wrong, is my vagina too small, i just need your help. Thanks :)

Hi Betty,

A while ago you answered a question from a woman who decided to stretch her hymen, instead of breaking it. I'm very glad I read that, because I'm trying to do the same thing myself. At 25, I recently started dating a man who is my first sex partner. We haven't had vaginal intercourse yet, because of my hymen. I have a strong, fleshy hymen. Until recently, it has only allowed the passage of one finger. (I have small hands.) With patience - and a lot of lube - I've been able to stretch it to allow two fingers. Do you know if it is likely that I will be able to manually stretch it out to allow an erect penis?

 

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have a girl friend for 5 years.  I'm the first man she totally had sex with but from the first day we had sex, after a couple of penetrations, i felt it's too big for me.  My penis is fine (kind of average,, 6 inches) as i had been through different sex experiences with other girls and it was fine and some times very tight but after i got into my relationship (I never cheated on her by the way).

Every time we start to have sex after she gets aroused it (her Vagina) gets bigger and bigger till it reaches the point that i feel like it's so so big i can't feel i'm inside something..

Dear Betty,

During foreplay i'm totally aroused and involved as soon in comes down to intercourse my mind tends to stray and focus on useless things therefore leaving me without havin an orgasm i've tried to do all the exercises, reading lots of books but it ends all the same. do u hav any ideas on my prob........plz help