Fetish/Kink

Nicole Kidman. She embodies the classic appeal of Hollywood that's rarely seen on the red carpet today. Behind that porcelain skin and ever-changing beauty, however, is a woman that welcomes a good challenge.

On the cover of British GQ, Kidman shows off her darker side. And, in an interview with the award-winning actress, the 42-year old mother and wife of country star Keith Urban describes her marriage as "dangerous":

"...I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy" - Nicole Kidman

This week, we're going to take a look, have a smell, indulge in a taste, steal a touch, and listen in on the many, many forms of body worship.

As you can already tell, we're focusing on the five senses, each of which can illicit fetishistic associations with either the purpose of each sense or the sense itself. Of course, we will talk about the many body parts that are fetishized by all, but, I thought we should at least appreciate the unforeseen power that our senses play on us when we live in our fetish. All of our senses provide rooted connections to us and our fetish-object. And, for some of us, we needn't look too far for worship. Some of us simply need to take a whiff or listen in... and this is how we connect.

Today, I want to discuss an often misunderstood and somewhat degraded character that comes up time and time again in Halloween traditions: The Witch.

That's right, guys! You've seen how she's turned out. Frankly, there's only two places you're going to buy the average witch costume: Ricky's and any bargain store that sells a ratty black wig and green make-up. And maybe a fake witch's mole. But that's it.

So, we've taken very polarized images of a witch, the oversexed, less-than-scary "sexy witch", and the ugly, old, and comical "Witch from Wizard of Oz" look. Not much of the Goddess's image has been explored ever since.

He wanted to hear me orgasm. Not just the superficial moans and feminine whimpers. He wanted guttural screams and earth-shattering grunts. He wanted to feel the ground beneath him shake. He wanted to the roof above him to crack and rain down rubble. He wanted his life to be forever changed by my vocal pleasure.

This task was hard to perform because I was one of 20 women sitting in a darkly lit room. I didn't want to impinge on the other operators. So, I cupped my mouth and held my mic as close to my face as possible.

To quote a friend, sex is "physical, psychological, emotional, aural and olfactoral". This episode is dedicated to sex smells.

Being a Fetish Coach is fun by definition and... (un)surprisingly, fun by practice as well. So far, with the few clients I have accumulated, it seems that these modern-day people feel as though they can lead their private lives out of the darker recesses of insecurity and shame; they can bring their perversity out into the open with acceptance and gratitude. Why gratitude? Well, haven't you felt some hint of grace when impacted with that first passionate kiss, that untimely touch, that insatiable surge of sexual madness, as if you've been afflicted by some terrible disease? Weren't you utterly happy to realize that your body, essentially, did not give way to civilized codes of conduct, that no matter what you've been taught, it still couldn't help but drop a bit of genital dew when exposed to impassioned incidents and people? You know what I'm talking about. Backseat mischief, a subtle slide of the hand in a crowded restaurant, necking in the basement of your parents' house?

As we waited for our Persian feast to arrive, Betty told me that she was given the ol' Dirty Sanchez during a sexual encounter. However, at that time, such an act was never given an official name.

This made me consider the endless list of terms that have gone unnoticed, monikers for sexual encounters that can turn rather bizarre, violent, unusual, and/or just plain alluring.

So I present you with some pretty cool sexual situations and their creative names.

Dirty Sanchez: Already explained.

It was my first client. And he wanted to see me. I only had one outfit to wear - a skintight shiny black PVC dress and 6" spiky stilettos.

When the headmistress saw me buckling the straps of my shoes, she stopped me. "You don't need to worry about that," she said. "He really isn't into what you're going to wear."

"Oh." I paused, disappointingly. "What is he into?"

"Your feet," she replied.

I smiled. "Oh." I imagined this new client would be on his knees, caressing my tense arches and licking the soft gaps in between my toes.

When I moved into the city, I wanted to learn how to make dolls. I studied the meticulous process of sculpting little parts out of polymer clay (the only material I could afford at the time), baking these little limbs in the oven (or kiln if i could find one), and painting little lips and eyes onto the heads. Tufting the hair. Sewing dolly outfits.

I had the biggest crush on my 1st cousin, Miles, growing up.  He was blond and lived in Laguna Beach.  We must have been 7 or 8 years old and we decided to play wedding.  It was then that our parents explained why first cousins couldn't marry: you'd have deformed children.  We still played wedding the entire trip.

As it turns out, the risk of 1st cousins having genetically deformed childrens is quite low.  The Journal of Genetic Counselling findings (based on studies of thousands of births over 35 years) showed risks of between 1.7% and 2.8% above the background risk for congenital or genetic abnormalities for copulating cousins.  There's even a website cousincouples.com dedicated to famous cousin hook ups. 

I guess I could have married Miles all along.  We would have made a great couple but oh well.  My favorite incestuous couple - Bob and Gisselle - will have to respresent for all happily coupled first cousins.

I will admit that when Christina (our unapologetic panty sniffing blogger) first sent me the link to her blog I was deeply disturbed by a post she did on kitten crushing videos.  And it seems that I'm not alone. 

The Supreme Court will hear the federal government's appeal of U.S. v. Stevens, a circuit court's overturning of a 1999 federal law that makes it a crime to create, sell, or possess depictions of animal cruelty for commercial gain. If the court reverses the lower court's decision and reinstates the law, images showing the intentional torture or killing of animals would be deemed illegal. But technically, so might depictions of bullfighting in Spain or fishing and hunting out of season.

Husband was at work. Roommate was at the gym. Cats were lounging on the window sill, enjoying the last hour of sunshine before dark. What did this all mean to me? I can masturbate in peace!

I hopped on my bed, grabbed an old Natural Contours vibe and got to work. This particular sex toy holds very fond memories for me; we worked side-by-side in Afrodite Superstar. Well, actually, it was more than side-by-side... but you get what I mean.

You think you know everything about sex and then you're trumped by such an obvious fetish.  Over the weekend, an elderly man was arrested for blowing white pepper into a young cashier's face twice in an attempt to get her to sneeze.  I'm not sure if he wanted her to sneeze "on him".  I would think that the lack of control coupled with the spittle and possible snot would be part of the turn on. 

The worst part is that the cashier never sneezed.  The pepper went down her throat and not up her nose.  She had to go to the hospital so this poor old man was arrested on two counts of aggravated assault. 

I would sneeze on him right now.