no orgasm

Dear Betty,

I am having difficulty both with orgasm during masturbation and with a partner. I think I have experienced tension orgasm and no touch orgasm before (they aren't reliable though: my longest was after exercise and wasn't in a place I could relax into it). So I know I'm not having them with sex and masturbation.

I love your website, I think it's great, and I've read your 'first time orgasm' but I still can't manage to come. I have what I think is and orgasm (I can only get this through clitoral stimulation, even though when I was reading your 'first time orgasm' I was penetrating too) but I don't seem to ejaculate. I have been masturbating for about 2 and a half years now, and I've had sex before, but I didn't come during that either. Is there something I can do to encourage ejaculation, or am I just simply unable to do it?

I'm 38, married but my husband travels a lot and our sex life is fair but infrequent. I have young kids at home but enjoy some self-loving a few times a week. It helps take the edge off in so many ways. I've read your book and follow your tips - they help a lot. But often, after I've had my first and small orgasm using the magic wand, I back off a little, then get back into it. Then I reach a point where I get completely frustrated. I try to temper it but it's difficult, and seems to be preventing me from having a second.

Hi Betty,

I am a 27 year old healthy female and have a major problem. I feel very little pleasure when masturbating or having sex. I have never had an orgasm before and I have never been in a relationship. I've only had sex 5 times but feel nothing. It's like the inside of my vagina is numb. I recently purchased Orgasm Doctor and the Hitachi massager. The massager did feel good but I got very tense when using it. My body tightened up and I had to stop. It's very frustrating when I read about other women experiencing these problems because they still enjoy sex and masturbating while I don't. Could I have a medical problem or do I need to keep on working at it every night? Any help would be greatly appreciated.