Hi Dr. Dodson,
I have recently been overwhelmed with the fear that I might give myself a UTI by using a dildo and/or vibrator during penetrative masturbation and as a result have not been able to partake in either form of self love.
I have heard horror stories about UTIs and feel extra worried because I know there is no 100% fool-proof solution to avoiding them especially now that I am partaking in both clitoral and penetrative stimulation. I am worried that this fear will only increase when I partake in partner intercourse and I don't want to let fear keep me from experimenting both on my own and in a pair.
I have what I hope is an interesting question for you.
I’m writing an article on the combination orgasm now and found your very interesting article about it on your site.
I have several questions really, but I’ll try to stick to the one which is the most essential for my article.
Ok, here we go: IS A COMBINATION ORGASM ALWAYS TWO ORGASMS AT THE SAME TIME (I.G. G-SPOT + CLITORAL ORGASM) OR COULD IT BE JUST A DIFFERENT TYPE OF ORGASM (A STRONGER ONE) THAN THE OTHER TYPES WE HAVE NAMES FOR, CAUSED BY STIMULATING SEVERAL SPOTS AT THE SAME TIME? AND YOU’RE MAYBE ALSO MORE RELAXED AND INTO IT THAN USUAL?
As a sex coach, I have started to see clients in my home office and the phrase "Have you given yourself permission to be sexual" crosses my lips daily. I should really heed my own advice as I have taken that permission away from myself in the past months. When I was ready to become a sexual being again postpartum, I was intent on not losing myself in baby and ignoring my sexual relationship with my husband.
I found myself getting my intimacy and sensuality needs met by my baby and had to make a conscious decision to not abandon the intimacy in my relationship. It is hard work and I am exhausted all the time but i know my investment now will pay off later.
I'm 19 years old and I don't enjoy sex. Ever since I lost my virginity at 16 i've had 3 partners and have not been able to have enjoyable sex with any of them. Every time I have been well lubricated, so I don't think that is the problem. I already went to my gynocologist twice on this issue and she pretty much did not have anything useful to tell me other than that all my sexual pleasure will come from my clitoris. Not that I completely disagree with that, but isn't penetration supposed to be somewhat enjoyable??
I recently discovered this web page and your writing - and I was really excited because I find the work you do so amazing. I agree with many of the things you say about sex and about relationships in general and it's good to have it put into words for once. Though I've always been pretty confident about my sexuality, following the things you and Carlin are doing strengthens me and makes me even more open about it.
So: Thank you!
I am 23 and enjoying experimenting with my great new (& first) boyfriend. I do reach orgasm by myself (clit) and as well when he is stimulating it (finger/dick), but I don't feel anything "good" inside my vagina while having sex.
I need help finding a toy. I once bought a double dildo because I wanted something that would give good penetration but that I could "fold up," as it were, to simultaneously stimulate my clit and labia. Well, the thing I got was huge. I could get it in me but it was so big it hurt more than it pleased, and it wasn't very flexible for what I wanted, so I've only used it one or 2 times. I decided that my clit took precedence over good penetration, so I have stuck with my fingers and lots of lube to get the great O's, but I still pine for something more! I don't usually use vibrators because their too intense, so those ones with the extra clit thingy on them just won't do.
I am a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with another woman. Recently, we had a threesome with a male friend, which for both of us was the first time having sex with a male. My lady and I have used sex toys, and achieved penetration in other ways, so I guess it surprised me a little when I bled after having intercourse with the male. When I hear talk of the hymen, it's described as being along the lower edge of the vaginal opening, but I think my bleeding is coming from the upper area. We have done this twice now, and while I bled less the second time, I still did. It continues lightly for a day or so afterwards. The male does have a penis on the larger side, which I am sure is a factor. I guess I am wondering - is there any bleeding resulting from sex that I SHOULD be worried about?
i'm scared of tampons! is this going to slow me down from starting my sexual life?