According to thousands of sex questions I’ve received during four decades, I’m aware of America’s profound lack of understanding when it comes to the basic act of heterosexual intercourse. Yes! Something we all take for granted, yet society could benefit from some very basic sex information/education to better understand what actually takes place when a penis penetrates a vagina and begins thrusting. This is the most frequent form of sexual activity that takes place between two people, straight, gay, or bi throughout the world.
BN sent the following message:
I fully understand that teaching is repetition. So again I repeat: the clitoral body is the primary source of orgasm whether it's stimulated externally, internally, or both at the same time. I prefer both. Once a woman understands she can have both clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration, it ends this discussion.
There is no distinction between "vaginal" or "clitoral" or "G spot" orgasms since all orgasms are centered in the clitoris. It doesn't matter if it's direct clitoral contact or indirect G spot stimulation. Or even the more illusive deep vaginal thrusting that stimulates the base of the spine, now called the "deep spot." That orgasm requires an 8 inch penis or a quality silicone dildo. All you guys with average 5 to 6 inch penises erect are SOL on that one.
Hello Dr Betty
Have a question for you - not sure how this works on your site.
I have been dating a wonderful lady for the past seven months - she is 49, I am 35. The relationship is fabulous, in all departments. Best sex of my life, she feels the same.
Sexually speaking, we are having a great time. She likes clitoral stimulation has powerful orgasms, however absolutely loves internal stimulation with my penis and fingers - especially deep penetration.
Recently, I was sent a link to new research on female orgasm. Using MRI scans, science has finally mapped women’s sexual response to clitoral, vaginal, cervical and nipple self-stimulation on the sensory cortex to understand the neural systems underlying female sexual response. Five researchers were involved but one stood out by promoting vaginal orgasms - Stuart Brody.
First, I'd like to thank you, you and Carlin for your work on making women more aware of their own body parts and on understanding their sexuality. I've been following you for a long time now and I really enjoy your videos and articles. I always learn a lot. Thanks to you, things changed in my sex life and I'm more comfortable in it and am enjoying it more and more. So thank you.
I know that you think that the first organ of pleasure for women is the clitoris. You don't seem to agree on the existence of G point that would lead women to experience what we call a vaginal orgasm, which implies (in my mind) an orgasm where the clitoris is not involved.
Dear Dr. Betty,
Hey, I'm A and I'm 17. I've been into sex from such a young age around 7 or 8 years old. I've always masturbated since then and always get to my orgasm and it feels so good. I started out humping up until I was 13 or so. I used my hands to massage clit area and came every time. I then used vibrating massager on clit and vagina area and it gave me a more intense orgasm, which I loved even more so I got addicted to it.
I was curious so I started using a brush after my fingers wouldn't work and I couldn't come then and so I started rubbing my clit and did that and it still wouldn't work! I obviously can't come with penetration and I so desperately want to.
Dear Dr. Betty,
Embarrassingly, I didn't really learn to masturbate until just recently, at 33 years old. However, I've since learned that's unfortunately common. I've always been very cerebral, and I'm a die-hard researcher, so I took to reading up on orgasm, and techniques, and just general information. I read that other than clitoral stimulation, a more satisfying orgasm can be achieved with g-spot stimulation.
Hello Dr. Betty,
Hi I’m a 25 year old young woman and I’ve stumbled up on this page while searching for anything about female sexuality, female orgasms etc. I am at an end; I have no idea what ells to do now to fix my problem.
My reason for searching up on those topics is because throughout my years of sexual contact I have never been able to have a vaginal orgasm, and yes I do know that the percentages of woman who do get it are very low. I’ve done plenty of research and have experimented a whole lot. I have experimented allot to try and figure out what worked and what didn’t.
Dear Dr. Dodson
I am 27 year old. I have a problem. I used to have a vaginal orgasms, but since I started to masturbate; I experienced a clitoris orgasms and I could not have vaginal orgasms any more.
What can I do?
Instead of torturing yourself thinking vaginal orgasms are superior to clitoral orgasms, let me remind you that even vaginal orgasms are the result of some form of indirect clitoral stimulation. Most sexually sophisticated women have memories of their struggle to come from vaginal penetration as proscribed by Dr. Sigmund Freud, a brilliant but troubled Victorian religious Jew.
There was quite a debate this week in the comments section of one of our top posts The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm. Thought it was worthy of the front page:
Why isn't there sex ed public health information on this topic?
I am a 26 year old woman, and I can only have clitoral orgasms, I've had them alone since I was 11, and also with my partners since I was 16, when they're patient enough to let me masturbate during slow penetration or any other moment during sex.
I never had a problem with that, but lately, I've been talking to so many women, and even seeing with my own eyes, how easy it is for them to have vaginal/g-spot orgasms (not sure it's the same?). I know it is not good for me to be comparing myself with any other women on that aspect but... I just can't help but feel like I'm missing out something really good!
Whilst listening to Betty, Carlin and Joan Price discuss ageless sexuality, Carlin mentioned she can really only achieve vaginal orgasms with new partners because she is really horny at the beginning with floods of pleasure chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin and later down the line of sex with that same person clitoral stimulation becomes essential to achieving orgasm.
My comment to this article is significant because it mentions some aspects of one of the concepts that I will be addressing in my forthcoming book, working title, The Power of Appreciation: That using the term "vaginal orgasm" is not the best designation to use to refer to female orgasms triggered via the insertion (and manipulation) of objects and/or anatomy into the vaginal canal.
Here are two emails I received today from one of my recent sex life consulting clients.
News of incredible sex after taking skype classes with me. She's in Asia after all. She'd had one other session with me before last weekend. That one included what's commonly called "vaginal orgasm," which I find to be not specific enough to what's happening. Then she asked me to do a thirty minute session focusing on an advanced blowjob technique I called, with her, the origami blowjob.