slut stigma

What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex & Multiple Partners?

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 14:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello! Thanks for your time.

I don't know how to respond to people about this. I know the insult isn't justified, but I do like sleeping with multiple guys. People say I put myself at risk too much. Not just about STDs but also for pregnancy. The funny thing, is that I risk being preggo much less often than lots of ppl in relationships do! Like if I hookup a few times a month vs most people who have sex with their partner at least a few times a week.

They say it's different though, since they know each other if a baby happens. But I feel like the overall consequence is the same. Plus I usually take less risk, I'm on BC, use condoms, and usually ask him to pullout even with a condom on. I know plenty of couples that just solely rely on the pill.

I Find Myself Repressing My Desire to be Sexual Because It's Not Proper

Tue, 09/27/2016 - 14:03
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm 34 and have always had a healthy sex drive. I have had anonymous sex and I love it. I find myself repressing my desire to be sexual, because it's not "proper". I don't have sex regularly, because I do not have a partner. So, that leaves me quite frustrated.

I want to give myself permission to have protected sex with as many men as I like, because I simply like sex. How do I move past the social norms and finally embrace who I am.

Dear S,

The Walk of No Shame...My Utopia

Fri, 09/25/2015 - 08:24
Submitted by Carlin Ross

If only we celebrated women who had sex, heading home the next day in the same clothes they wore the night before.

I remember being shamed when I would crawl home in the wee hours of the morning after a night of sex.  Walking past my doorman and AM neighbors was the worst. 

I love this clip:

Am I a Slut? I Feel Like a Slut

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 07:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty(and Carlin!)

I'm seventeen, going on eighteen and have just recently broken up with a boyfriend I spent a year and three months with. The decision to end the relationship was painful but necessary because of a need to focus on my studies (I'm in my final year of school.) and a very large craving for space to deal with how I'm feeling at the moment. However, due to our proximity and school and within our friendship groups I decided not to tell him all of the reasons why I wanted us not to see each other romantically anymore.

All the Birth Control Options Suck

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 08:58
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been very distressed recently about my options for birth control. I have been with the same partner for four years now and our sex life has been not always the greatest. I was on the pill for a long time but I found that I often had gross discharge or yeast infections. It was very distressing because we really enjoy oral sex but my boyfriend is very rarely able to perform it. We always use condoms also but I am afraid it is possible the latex has been further irritating my vagina.

Acknowledging a Physical Desire Built More Integrity Than Feigning Love

Sat, 01/05/2013 - 09:19
Submitted by Caitlin Roberts

Dear Jenna,

My name is Caitlin Roberts, and I am a slut.

By your definition, I suppose I am a retired slut, but I still hold on dearly to the title.

There have been many enlightening responses to your latest video regarding your confusion about the choices sluts make. Laci Green and Haley G Hoover have put together very informative monologues (if you haven’t watched them, I recommend you do, they both still love you).

Alas, as I am letting it be known to the entire internet world through this blog, I am a slut. A very happy and contented slut. So it feels only appropriate that a slut respond to your curiosities.

Sluts Require a High Level of Cultivation

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 09:31
Submitted by Anonymous

Slut\ sluht\ –noun

1. a promiscuous person especially a woman.
2. a prostitute.
3. a slovenly dissolute woman.

Slut I am indeed, I can check all the boxes.

Promiscuous; check
Woman: check
Prostitute: check (I include my webwhore status in this definition)
Slovenly: oh wait a minute… nope definitely not slovenly these days.

I Love to Orgasm but I'm Afraid of Becoming a Slut

Mon, 03/28/2011 - 13:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I'm 24 and got my first boyfriend at 23 (we're still together and intend to stay so). I only had my first orgasm this year, and my first masturbatory orgasm a few months back. I guess my fear is of being a slut. I know I'm not one, logically, I mean, I've not even had PIV sex yet. I'm happily doing other non penetrative things (other than fingers) but there's always this niggle that I'm 'ruining myself'. I've always been interested in sex, and I do want to be happy with it, but I'm terrified that perhaps I won't stay with my boyfriend and some other guy will be disappointed, or that my boyfriend will be disappointed if I make myself 'loose' with a menstrual cup or masturbation, even though I know it doesn't really work like that and he reassures me that that won't happen.

Girl Guilt & Overcoming the Slut Stigma

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 08:42
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Jessi Fischer describes her "girl guilt" after hooking up at a friend's birthday party (she's an adult and she's a sex educator). As Jessi points out, the seeds of the slut stigma are planted in childhood and affect us for the rest of our lives:

Boyfriend Obsessed with My Sexual Past

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:10
Submitted by Carlin Ross

My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months. Twelve months ago, a former lover texted me asking for sex. My boyfriend was devastated, and has spent the year since that incident brooding (he’s fallen into a serious depression) and, apparently, trying to make me feel bad about my sexual past.

He asks me endless questions about the men I’ve been with (the women don’t seem to bother him) and what I did with them. He often refers to people I’ve been with and how much he hates them, and goes on and on about how he just can’t understand how I could’ve done whatever he’s going on about at the moment.

Why Women are Threatened by Other Women's Sexuality

Mon, 02/14/2011 - 10:12
Submitted by Carlin Ross

David J. Ley, Ph.D. discusses why women are threatened by other women's sexuality:

"Perhaps it's frightening - women are taught to suppress their sexuality, and when they see another woman reject that teaching, it might trigger an internal conflict in other women, where they start wondering and fearing what it might be like if they also started to express their sexual desires.

How Do We End Slut Shaming?

Fri, 02/04/2011 - 16:04
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am a student at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan; a sex-positive feminist and a huge fan of yours! Last semester I met a like-minded young woman, Maria, who has become a great friend of mine and we share our love for you and often discuss sex and various issues surrounding women. We have recently come across an issue that is bothering us both quite a bit.

A young woman, and a Wayne State student, posted on her facebook a status that read "Control your whoremones, slut." I stared in awe at not only this but the 25 (yes, twenty five) "likes" that the status received from fellow students. I had to express my dislike to the poster, obviously, and was promptly questioned.