Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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No one talks about it. It makes the ego sting when what one does well in bed fails. Blame is placed on the other person when much better responses exist. Here are some tips for dealing with this before deciding to break it off too soon.

1. Communicate. Talk with your partner to get more information on how good something feels that you’re doing. Maybe that something you think works… really isn’t significant at that time or to their body in general. Get info on the things they know is hot for them that perhaps did nothing for your last partner. If you’re in a marriage, this is especially important because you are sharing the same life with your partner now and there’s no easy way out of that.

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dear betty!

i am glad to have found your youtube-blog and this site here - i think you and carlin are so inspiring and i hope to find other inspiring sex-workshop-stuff here in europe...anyway, what i wanted to ask you. i am in my mid-twenties and in an lesbian relationship for almost 12 years now. in the early years there was a lot of repression of feelings and desires, sexual guilt - we both come from quite difficult backgrounds. but each of us liberated herself - also sexually, but there is still a lot of healing to do.

A quick blog post today, but an important one. My friend Steve Otero located this article by Roland Hulme.

It's about the occurrence where women say no to sexual exchange, but are waiting for the man to continue anyway as part of the game. The reason they do it, according to Hulme and his sources, is because it shows the woman isn't a slut before continuing with the sex. The implication is the man kept going and "made her do it," so to speak, so she can let go of her socially-induced phobia.

I had a sex life coaching session with a client early this morning who told me about a principle from the branch of psychology called, "positive psychology." She said that people with jobs or careers that constantly demand attention to the flaws in a system, or whatever, will very often undergo a brain repatterning. This sharpens their skills to find faults to a razor's edge. The more critical their eye to imperfection is to their job, like nuclear power plant designers for example, the greater the effect.

We all know how massage parlors with "happy endings" have been available for men for the usual reasons for quite a while. It came up in conversation recently about whether women have done that, assuming the opportunity was there, and where.

Here is a story on a woman who went out on a quest in New York City to see which spa she could get her orgasm from and leave with that glow that men traditionally value in their lives.

So, my tentative New Year's resolution is to get my hands out of my own pants and down someone else's.

I say tentative because I have been down the slippery path of online dating before - and I know what I'm in for. Nonetheless, I have decided to dust off my old Match.com profile and try this cyberdating thing once again. Maybe.

As you can see, I am rather conflicted about the whole thing. My experience with online dating has been a mixed bag. I have been on a few sites such as OKCupid and Yahoo Personals, but frankly my "best" experience has been with Match. And that is a highly qualified "best".

Here is an article from TheFrisky.com where the author, Nikki Dowling, lists the major things she's learned about lesbians and her girlfriend in general after having left heterosexuality for a lesbian sex life and relationship.

I like her quote that states, "It's the individual that makes relationships differ-- not the gender." Her article, by the way, is written much like I prefer to write about sex and relationships. It gives readers a bit of an insider's perspective that they'd otherwise remain ignorant of.

James' hands left the tight blue jeans-covered cleft of Jenny's ass and went around to unbutton and unzip her pants. I remember watching the dark blue fabric, almost black in the very low lighting, slip down from her broad, feminine hips, revealing her tanned skin. I moved my hands up from her pussy to those bare hips; laid my palms on them gently and caressed: up under her shirt to her slender and toned sides, ribs, small of her back, and finally back down for one hand to slip down the front of her black panties while the other stayed firmly against her sexy, curved-up sacrum. James took her pants down to her ankles in one quick movement and waited while she stepped obediently out of them. Her bush was so soft and thick.

Once again, I write blog posts like these to show that there's more to sex advice and incredible sex than how to do it better. All the hot sex skills and sophistication in the universe won't matter if you have health issues that put a stop to your sex life, or make it not what it could be. A sex therapist and a sex life consultant would be clear on that.

Here is a link to a thorough article on how your gut (small intestine) and its state of healthy bacterial vs unhealthy has a big effect on your sex life. From things that make you lose your sex drive, like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or IBS, chronic urinary tract infections in women, and vaginitis.

 I've been writing my e-booklets on specific sexual pleasure and female orgasm topics. The relevance of penis size, depending on the woman and her partner, is abundantly clear to me. Further, the role of the big penis as I understand it and teach it as a sex life consultant. It has to do with how consistently a woman can reach what many call "vaginal orgasm." In short, size does matter. Absolutely. (And, her's does too!) More about that in my publication. :)