Hi Dr Betty!
I am 18 years old and worried about the damage I may have done to my vagina. I discovered I could pleasure myself at 3 years old, by rubbing my clitoris against a sofa arm, and now regularly masterbate using the corner of a wooden desk. I am aware that this is really unhealthy as it is such a harsh movement, and I am worried that I have desensitised my clitoris or damaged it. Furthermore, as I tend to rub on one side, one of my labia majora has become much larger and more stretched than the other, giving my vulva a lopsided look (although I know vulva's come in all shapes and sizes I feel like mine is not normal as my masterbation has unnaturally stretched it).
Dear Dr. Betty,
First of all, as a woman, I can't thank you and Carlin enough for your empowering, liberating efforts, which have closely guided me through my journey of sexual discovery.
I've masturbated with tension since I've been a child by humping the mattress and keeping my legs straight. It gives me localized, nice little orgasms which are clearly defined: there's a built-up of tension, I reach that small peak, calm down, get wet and my clit becomes very sensitive (in a good way).
Hi Dr Betty,
As far back as I can remember, I've always masturbated by positioning myself on a corner and letting my weight concentrate on my genitals by lifting my legs from the floor. The intense amount of pressure caused by having my body weight concentrated on my pelvis is the only way I've ever learned to pleasure myself. I've always had issues orgasming, and if I do, I find that they don't often satisfy me fully.
Is it possibly that I've damaged my clitoris from over stimulation? Is there any way to become more orgasmic? I've read somewhere that getting a hitachi magic wand and using it regularly to break up scar tissue helps in regaining sensitivity, is this accurate?
(22 year old female)
First of all, thanks for the amazing resources you have here! For the first time since I started trying to understand my own orgasms–it's been about four years!–I found validation for my own experiences. As it turns out, I've been giving myself pressure orgasms since I was young, and I, like others who have submitted questions, was worried that I had "ruined" my clitoris. After reading your techniques and tips I feel confident that I can wean myself off the pressure orgasm and learn some new tricks, and hopefully even orgasm with a partner.
My question is: am I going to know when I'm having a non-pressure orgasm?
Hi, I'm 18 years old and have been masturbating since I was about 8. I usually "balanced" on the edge of things like tables and stuff and could always orgasm that way. Well I started getting sexually active over a year ago and have never orgasmed with him. We have tried everything--clit stimulation, hitting g spot-- a bunch of different positions, but I never get there.
I feel good at times and usually feel like I have to pee at some point and once or twice have gotten a severe tickling sensation I couldn't stand-it was almost painful...what's going on with me?????? Oh and now I dont masturbate much so now I'm having issues climaxing that way too! I'm soooo sick of no orgasms! HELP!
I am 24, and I've just discovered your website today. I am a women who cums through pressure. I first came in kindergarten when shimmying up a pole in the playground. I then learned to cum by squeezing my clasped hands, or a banister, between my legs. I now cum pretty exclusively by pressing my vagina against the arm of an armchair and squeezing my legs. I have learned to slow down the squeezing to delay and strengthen the orgasm, but still I generally cum within 5 minutes.
I'm 31, married with two wonderful kids and an equally wonderful husband. We have a very routinish sex life. I initiated much more than him when we were younger and have always been quite an erotic person - now Ive "de-sexed" myself (is that a term?), so that we're equally unerogenous. I know this suites my husband well, as all he's ever wanted was sex once a week (dominant male - non-dominant female etc. etc). I'm easily turned on by my husband and adore him. I'm sad that my sexuality is somewhat repressed - and often climax alone during masturbation simply because our love-making is not very exciting to me.
Okay, I am 42 years old and I have had 1 orgasm in my life, which was while I was still a virgin at 18 yrs old!! It was so overwhelming, I fainted afterwards. My boyfriend at the time and I were just making out in his car, I was riding his leg, and pretty soon this feeling started overtaking me, and he wouldn't let me stop riding his leg....and voila...my orgasm. From what I remember, it was amazing. Now I am 42 and haven't had one since then.