post-menopausal

I entered menopause at age 41 and am now 49. I completely lost my libido and in spite of trying HRT (testosterone) treatments, etc. it hasn't returned. My brain tells me I should want to have sex and I do want to have sex with my husband (who has also lost his sex drive, age 56). We now have a sexless marriage and can't seem to get it jump started. It takes a long time for me to have an orgasm now, if I do it's usually a blip and it's gone. I've never had any sexual problems prior to menopause. Help! We are drowning in apathy and don't know what to do!!! I feel hopeless.