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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Tags › polyamory ›

polyamory

In an Open Relationship, How Much Do You Share about Sexual Encounters?

Published August 10th by Betty Dodson
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Betty and Carlin,

It has been one of the greatest blessings in my life to have come upon your website. I only recently began having vaginal sex because of previously being fairly conservative, coming from a Christian home. My boyfriend is great at hand and oral stimulation and is pretty good at vaginal sex, but since his last girlfriend somehow got off easily from vaginal sex, he had little experience/didn't really know about stimulating the clit during partnersex. Of course, I had no idea about it either. Luckily, after only two sessions of having little luck in the orgasm department on my end, we decided to research sex online. We came across your youtube videos, and what a great surprise! So much great info!

How Can I Learn NOT To Be Sexually Jealous?

Published May 12th by Betty Dodson
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I'm a 46 year old female. Divorced for about 3 years. Left a 22-year marriage largely due to my being unsatisfied with the sex and I went outside of our relationship to be with other men (and women). Between partners before marriage, during and now after, I've had hundreds. I usually can orgasm, but it has been challenging...until I met the man I am currently seeing. He has been trained in Tantra and I am receiving the benefits. I am now having "hands-free" orgasms at the drop of the hat (well not quite, but close - while brushing my teeth, having my dress unzipped, gazing). So what's the problem? I am getting really attached to him and he has made it very clear that he doesn't want to be monogamous.

The Ethical Slut

Posted April 23rd by Betty Dodson
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Dossie and I met back in the early seventies when I was bicoastal living in San Francisco part time. Our commune on Castro Steet rotated betweeen four to five people who were committed singles. As long as we lived together we agreed to avoid sexually pairing off. Dossie came to a few our communal sex parties. I remember her as a beautiful tiny faun with a mop of curly hair who loved sex. l'm glad to see her book coming out again. The information is pertenent for everyone who realizes that the limitations of monogamy doesn't work for everyone.

An underground hit for years in sexually experimental circles, Dossie Easton's and Janet W. Hardy's The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Adventures makes the case that we should all enjoy an occasional threesome, foursome, and moresome with friends and strangers. "We believe it's OK to have sex with anybody you love," Easton and Hardy write, "and we believe in loving everybody."

"Many people find their partner advertising unbeknownst to them; people set up anonymous dates and it turns out to be their spouse who answered the ad."

A New Doc About Jim Haynes

Posted April 9th by Betty Dodson
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I first met Jim Haynes in the offices of Grove Press owned by Barney Rosset who broke through US censorship barries and brought us Lady Chatterley's Lover. Barney also published a radical chic magazine called Evergreen. The afternoon Jim and I met, I invited Jim to join me and a few friends for some friendly sex at my place that evening. We made love not war! Jim recipracated by inviting me to be a judge at the second Wet Dream Film Fesitval in Amsterdam and natually, I accepted. A year later Evergreen Magazine published an interview with me titled "The Fine Art of Lovemaking that included twenty images of my erotic art. Many people today still have a copy of that issue published back in February 1971.

It's been ages since I've seen Jim, so I can't wait to see his documentary. Hey! Where is my documentary? Could it be that my story is still too hot to handle? A guy can love sex but not a woman? Oh, I forgot. It's okay if she is a porn star, a prostitute, a pole dancer or a madam. But not if she's enjoying sex just for the fun and pleasure it provides.

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How Do We Seduce as a Couple?

Published April 7th by Betty Dodson
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My man and I have wanted to branch out into threesomes with another female for a long time now. We have great sex and are not at all shy with each other... problem is, we're both a little shy when it comes to trying to find another female to join us. I don't even know where to begin... I know the internet can be a good resource for shy people and I have tried it some, but most women seemed turned off by the idea of joining a couple and I can never get any to agree to meet us. I have also tried to find women who might be interested on my own, but again most seemed turned off if I ever even mention the idea of letting my boyfriend watch or join.

Any ideas on how we might be able to meet women who would be interested in being our third? Places to go, lines to use?

Cheating is *NOT* okay.

Nobilis's picture
Submitted by Nobilis on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 01:17.

"Cheating" isn't okay because lying isn't okay.

Having sexual relationships outside of marriage is fine.  Go for it.  But do it in the context of an honest marriage.  If your marriage can't handle the honesty then you either need to live with the restrictions you agreed to live under or get out of it.  Anything else is a betrayal. Negotiate for polyamory, negotiate for an open marriage, negotiate for "don't ask don't tell" but if you're not talking about it, then you're at the very least lying by omission.

I got a little angry when I heard Betty say that cheating is fine, and I have to voice my disagreement.

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