open relationship

Dear Betty and Carlin,

First of all, let me say you two women are so incredibly beautiful and inspiring. I have just discovered your podcasts, and they are so funny, and i cannot help cracking up when you do. Stunning people.

You both speak about having sex outside a relationship as healthy, as i understand it, and that the idea of monogamy is a moral social construct. My question is about how one can overcome this feeling of extra-marrital affair as being wrong.

I'm a 46 year old female. Divorced for about 3 years. Left a 22-year marriage largely due to my being unsatisfied with the sex and I went outside of our relationship to be with other men (and women). Between partners before marriage, during and now after, I've had hundreds. I usually can orgasm, but it has been challenging...until I met the man I am currently seeing. He has been trained in Tantra and I am receiving the benefits. I am now having "hands-free" orgasms at the drop of the hat (well not quite, but close - while brushing my teeth, having my dress unzipped, gazing). So what's the problem? I am getting really attached to him and he has made it very clear that he doesn't want to be monogamous.

My man and I have wanted to branch out into threesomes with another female for a long time now. We have great sex and are not at all shy with each other... problem is, we're both a little shy when it comes to trying to find another female to join us. I don't even know where to begin... I know the internet can be a good resource for shy people and I have tried it some, but most women seemed turned off by the idea of joining a couple and I can never get any to agree to meet us. I have also tried to find women who might be interested on my own, but again most seemed turned off if I ever even mention the idea of letting my boyfriend watch or join.

Any ideas on how we might be able to meet women who would be interested in being our third? Places to go, lines to use?

Hi Betty/Carlin,

My boyfriend and I are both nudists in our 20's, we go around the house naked all the time, go to nudist swims, nudist resorts, nude beaches and socialize in the nude at friends homes etc. Several of our nudists friends like to play with each other, fuck or masturbate in front of us when we are having a naked visit. I think this is great! I enjoy watching them do this in the open and want to do the same in front of them. I usually end up only masturbating. He'll play with my cunt a bit with his hand and fondle my tits however doesn't seem to get into it. Is there anything I can do or say to get him to open up? Normally he is all over me. Is fucking/masturbating in front of others unusual and I'm out of whack?

My wife was asked to go to an all girl party by a workmate. The other gal did not show up but my bride went and meet 2 ladies who got interested in her. Both where friendly and my wife even modeled some sexy clothing for the group of women. She even bought one outfit. At one point the 2 gals got my bride to join them in the office with the door locked. It did not take long for all the clothing to come off and my wife to find pleasure in the womens arms. One actually took a very large & long double dildo and used it on her. The wife has never been able to enjoy toys with me yet she says this novelty was at least twice my length. She has been invited to another party by one of her new friends and will go.

I would love to see her take a toy of such size. Did talk to one of the ladies, and she was willing to bring the toy for some hotel play. The wife is not sure if she could enjoy herself with me being there. How do I change her mind about me seeing her with such a long toy?

Breaking up is hard to do and yet it happens to most of us. Statistics show that half of all marriages end in divorce and many people remarry to repeat the pattern again- and again. Add to that the number of couples living together without benefit of marriage along with couples in committed relationships and we're talking about a major portion of the population. Instead of receiving any useful information on how to begin and end a relationship, I was given a romantic love story that promised passionate sex in marriage with a happy life ever after. That myth was one grand departure from reality.