masturbation

I started masturbating in my early teens, but I wasn't having orgasms (or at least I didn't think I was). In my mind, I never orgasmed until a few years ago (I'm 21), and this was with a guy who I had been fooling around with for a while. Soon, the orgasms became regular (only during oral though.) Now I am with someone new. He's very affectionate, he loves to please me, and is constantly looking for new ways to give me pleasure. We've been together for a year. I have an orgasm every time he goes down on me (which is happily quite often), and I've been able to orgasm few times from manual stimulation. My problem is that sometimes the lead-up to the orgasms are not that great. During foreplay, I find myself constantly becoming distracted with external thoughts.

dear betty & carlin,

my five year old daughter has no inhibitions about touching herself, rubbing her clit, etc. i do ask her to stop when she's on the couch, in full view, watching cartoons as she needs to know that touching oneself is better done in private (her bedroom, the bathroom). last night, while in the shower she discovered that the shower head feels good. in her words "it tickled my peepee and i liked it."my husband wasn't sure what to say but it was time to get dried off anyway, so he just asked her to come out of the shower. both myself and my husband want our daughter to have a positive image of herself and a positive view of her sexuality. what can we say to her that will encourage her self-exploration and yet keep the conversation developmentally appropriate for a five year old?

Hi.. i was just wondering if its possible to Masturbate while on my period? i find im more aroused during this time.

Dear Betty,

I have some questions on sex and orgasms. I am 19 years old and I only had sex with only one boy, my boyfriend. I enjoy doing sexual things with him, but not really penetration. I recently watched a documentary on tv on porn-stars, where I saw your name and looked you up. I saw some of your podcasts and decided to try to masturbate while watching porn. I reach a state where I feel my clit vibrating, but I don't think this is the orgasm. Is it? what should I do more? after this point I feel silly and stupid for doing it and for watching porn. it this normal?

i discovered masturbation at a very early age. i can't recall the first time, but i know i did it from a very young age. i'm not sure when the guilt kicked in, but i can't really recall a time i didn't feel guilty. i'm in my 30's now, but ever since i can remember i've had an issue around feeling intensely guilty and almost disgusted with myself after reaching orgasm, particularly after a masturbation orgasm. i've read a lot of literature on getting comfortable with my body, and that fantasies are fine and nothing to be ashamed of, but this seems to be a pretty deeply entrenched and wired issue that i'm finding very challenging to move past. it's got to a point where even if i feel aroused, i'd sometimes rather not masturbate, because i don't want to deal with the feelings of guilt and disapproval that follow.

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids. Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand. Here's what happened. The first time- I felt nothing for about 10 minutes, but I persisted when I normaly would have stopped, and after a while I began feeling pressure and some sensual feelings. I tried rocking my hips and squeezing my thighs, all the while pressing down on my clitoris hard with the wand on Low. I felt extremely strong pressure like I needed to pee- and then a liquid came out all over the bed, which I guess was urine. This scared me so I stopped.

For many years my wife experienced almost zero orgasims. Finally, after both of us making an effort to become better educated including my increased interest to plese her, we learned and "I" started practicing stimulation of the clitoris. While it worked, it took quite awhile to accomplish. I mentioned I started practicing because she has these major "hang ups" about stimulating herself. She still feels it's work for her to physically touch herself, and, very seldom is she willing to masturbate me.