marriage

Here's a very interesting article on how Japanese women are utilizing dating agencies to connect with highly-educated western husbands. Primary reason: it's a well to do demographic that these days, treats their wives more like equals and romantic companions. Japanese men, according to the article, are comparatively conservative and view women (helped along by the culture) as maids, homemakers, and child rearers. Period. I remember hearing about the first Japanese female office manager in Japan and how that was a big deal. I took a east Asian culture studies class in college. My prof. was a Japanese woman and she said how if you're a woman with a Ph.D. or Dr.

There's a legislator in Albany who proposed that marriages would automatically terminate in 7 years unless you renewed them - no need for a divorce.  Marriage vows are changing to acknowledge that most marriages don't last a lifetime:

Kiwi couples are ditching promises of "till death do us part" and choosing what they consider realistic vows for their big days, celebrants say.  Many New Zealanders are moving away from traditional marriage vows, with phrases like "till death do us part" and "honour and obey" increasingly deleted from their wedding days.

A Christchurch marriage celebrant of 25 years, Anne Stubbersfield, said people were more realistic now about their chances of staying together.  Most still believed their marriage would be forever, but some vowed to be together just as long as their "love endures".

Kiwis still hoped for a lifetime together, unlike an Australian couple who reportedly vowed a "three to five-year agreement plus options" or another pair who pledged if their "love should falter or fail, I will respect you for the period that you were in my life".

I've now gotten several requests to respond to the Sanford affair. My friend Richard send copies of the emails between Sanford and Maria as proof this was more than sex. That it was the real thing with real feelings of love for one another. He's a hopeless romantic, and while I am too, I fight it.

I'm a tough ole army mule when it comes to discussing "true love" which I think is based upon "true lust" and I see nothing wrong with that. Why do we have to denigrate the desire to have sex to uphold the myth that a monogamous marriage is more than a business arrangement sanctioned by society and granted special privileges by our government? We hear about politicians when this happens, but as a sexologist with a private practice, I know a large portion of our population is unable to sustain sexual fidelity as Amanda Marcotte explained in her piece For Many, Marriage is Sexless, Boring and Oppressive. People mostly rely on "don't ask, don't tell" which doesn't really work in the end because it requires the omission of truth which is kind of a sneaky lie.

Sure, the Times piece on the sanctity of marriage spews positive PR to uphold the institution because that keeps most of us in line so we can continue to be good consumers. The big corps demand that from us. My question is: When are we going to redefine marriage so that it becomes more sexually realistic and practical? I'm thinking about making an effort to do just that. When I can find time.