We've been getting a ton of sex questions on lubricant. Recently, I had a twitter exchange with a friend who never thought of including lubricant in his masturbation practice...suffice it to say he's been thanking me ever since.
"Never touch a clitoris with a dry hand" - this was the first thing Betty told me when we sat down to map out topics for our youtube series (this goes for penises too). Yes, lubricant is the #1 sex toy but I don't think most people realize it because it's so basic.
All genitals feel more sensation when they're lubed up. When you get a massage, do they rub your skin with a dry hand or do they use massage oil? Why would it be different for your genitals? Lubricant is a must have for your masturbation practice AND partner sex.
I am a 25 year old girl who is in a new relationship. For the most part I am pretty healthy although I do smoke cigarettes. I am very turned on my my new boyfriend and we have hours of foreplay before sex. I can't get wet. I have never ever been able to get wet. I have had 7 partners and not one time have I ever gotten wet. I am very embarassed about this problem.
I have been thinking a lot about lube lately because I want to buy this Sliquid Organics Natural Lube in the near future. When I'm on my period and using my DivaCup, I'm super "parched" down there, and since I've grown my hair back... WHOA! Epiphany. My vagina has been exponentially drier since I've made the whole "let's-grow-the-pubes-back" pact (dude, pubes itch. I don't know if I can hack this). I wonder why... That kind of pisses me off. I'm willing to give up the bare vagina (I've read in some places that some men hate shaven vaginas because it makes them think of fucking a preteen little girl. Hm), but at the expense of my sexual... juicy-ness?
Hope you're having a merry Christmas! Just following up from a few weeks ago... I started practicing more, lubing up my vibrator, and with more time and patience (and most importantly, an open mind for what orgasms feel like), I've been able to get off using a vibrator instead of having to hump pillows!
It's all in the mind. I used to think I had a physical deformity or something that led me to going numb after stimulating myself for too long, but adding even a little lubricant seems to do the trick.
Keep up the good work you do,
I am a 21 year old female who has been bleeding a little after sex. I lost my virginity at seventeen ... but it took many tries (my boyfriend had to insert one finger at a time, etc), and I bled after the first time. We stayed together for the next three years and had sex probably upwards of 5 times a week. He was forever telling me that he loved my being "tight" and I never experienced bleeding again. I recently began to date another guy and I have been bleeding about 1/2 the time we have intercourse.
Hi Betty and Carlin,
My boyfriend is uncircumsized and occasionally when we have sex, his foreskin bleeds -- it seems like it tears when he penetrates me. The first time it happened it was really scary and upsetting to me; there was a LOT of blood. STDs are not an issue for us, but sex causing him pain is a major issue.
This post is a double hitter. Becky Chalker, a good friend and author of the book "The Clitoral Truth" and the National Women's Health Network, a group of women who lobby in Washington for women's health. I've been involved with the NWHN for many years and suggest you consider joining us. They are a source of information about all things dealing with women's health. And Becky's book tells all you ever wanted to know about our powerhouse of a sex organ, the clitoris. Enjoy!
Strategies for Staying Sexual After Menopause by Becky Chalker
When was the last time you heard a joke suggesting that sex invariably goes ever downhill or totally crashes after menopause? Like yesterday? This concept was boldly reaffirmed - without reference to reliable research - at a conference on menopause held by the National Institutes of Health in 2005! So, if you ask your doctor about sex after menopause, she or he will likely agree that the outlook is gloomy. On the flip side, the golden-years myth is heavily promoted by TV ads for erection drugs, which portray the "Cialis woman" always blissfully ready for intercourse whenever her partner drops a pill.
hi eric (or whoever screens these),
i'll keep this short, as i'm sure you get many emails. i just wanted to know if you could give some advice...or at least point me in the right direction. i'm a 28 year old man... and have only had sex with 2 people. currently, i've been with the same partner for a number of years...and we have sex a couple times a week. My dilemma...i feel like i'm the only man who has trouble cumming.
i cum fine, when jacking off, but during sex, it takes forever....most of the time my partner gets worn out, and we have to stop before i cum. most guys want to take longer to cum, i want to cum quicker...is something wrong with me? are there any techniques for men that could help me cum quicker? can you help me?
I am a virgin. I have some experience with masturbation and general making out but never have had intercourse. I am reaching my 40's and I was thinking it could be time to try with safe sex. I am overwhelmed and so tense when I tried last time that the male part will not go in at all. Not sure if because my part is so small (due to non use) or if the guy's part is so big I get overwhelmed and nothing will happen....any recommendations? Appreciate your comments.
By the way, what do you think of virginity these days?????
I've been married for almost 4 years and I don't understand why it is so difficult for me to get wet. My husband tells me that before I used to get wet very quick and now he has to touch me and kiss for almost an hour before I get wet. I don't understand because I really want to do it and I like it when he touches me I really enjoy it, but no matter what he does I don't get wet. Is there something wrong with me?
This video was a complete labor of love. The editing system kept on crashing but I stuck with it. I could feel Betty's stare searing into my back as she waited to leave for dinner. Hope you enjoy it!
I write this hoping that some couples will benefit from what happened in my relationship with a man who turned out to be my best friend, the love of my life and my absolute favorite sex partner. All this was after he underwent prostate surgery. Not all men will experience prostate surgery, but all men and women alike, will experience changes in our sex drives, capabilities and tastes as we head into our 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond. We are constantly changing as years pass. We have different relationships, jobs, homes, ideas, political inclinations, and spiritual affiliations to name a few. So why do we expect our sex lives to stay the same?
In one of your youtube videos, you've recommended almond oil as a vaginal lubricant. I've heard from various sources, including my local feminist sex store, that "oil and vaginas don't mix". I'm not 100% sure why, but i think it has something to do with promoting bacterial infections. I'd prefer to use oil based lubes, because who the hell knows what they make those water or silicon lubes out of, but i also don't want to put my partners at higher risk for infections. Are you sure it's safe?
The first in our weekly video podcast series on the #1 Sex Toy: Lubrication. Our favorite is Sliquid Organics Natural Lube. Don't we look great together?
It's so good to be able to discuss this with someone knowledgable and forthright. I am 55 yrs. old and have been postmenapausal for 6 yrs. My clitoral area is often tender to the touch even though I do use an oestrogen cream. This usually happens after enjoying some self pleasure. It is a problem because I want to have sex with my husband and also self pleasure more often but the discomfort is too distracting to achieve orgasm even though the desire is there.