hormone replacement

I am 61 years old. I have no libido and am no longer able to have an orgasm. I am using a bioidentical hormone cream preparation (applied to wrists) including estriol, progesterone, testosterone and dhea. I also use estrogen and testosterone cream 3x a week on the genital areas. I can't even achieve an orgasm from a vibrator, which I tried for the first time a few months ago. I seem to be having some bladder issues, such as incomplete voiding and pressure to urinate frequently. I feel that there is nothing left to help me. Can you suggest something else I could try?

My wife and I have not had sex for over six months. I am 65 and she is 58. She is going through (or has gone through) menopause. It was tough for her. Terrible hot flahses. She still has occasional hot flashes. About three years ago she had her ovaries removed. They were not cancerous, just a "problem" according to her OB-GYN. Her vagina has dried up and it is very painful for her to have sex. I have tried K-Y Jelly, but that has not helped. We used to make love about once a week. By all signs my wife enjoyed sex. She did not have orgasism during when I was in her, but I would usually bring her to orgasism by mouth and then enter her and come. Last year we only had sex about 3 times. We have talked about it. She says that her libido is gone. She had no desire for sex. Also it is painful for her. I have asked her about jerking me off when I need it and she said that is no poblem, but when "it" comes up, she never lends a "hand." I end up masterbating about twice a week, but I would really like help my wife solve the problems she is having and enjoy sex with her again. Do you have any advise for me?

Hi Betty! It's so good to be able to discuss this with someone knowledgable and forthright. I am 55 yrs. old and have been postmenapausal for 6 yrs. My clitoral area is often tender to the touch even though I do use an oestrogen cream. This usually happens after enjoying some self pleasure. It is a problem because I want to have sex with my husband and also self pleasure more often but the discomfort is too distracting to achieve orgasm even though the desire is there. I have had the doctor check me for any infection and there is none. Right now I seem to only be able to enjoy sex 1-2 times a week because of this problem.

Hi Betty:

I am 51 years old and going through menopause. I am not on any HRT and really do not have any menopausal symptoms. My problem is it takes me a long time to orgasm. I use sex toys (vibrator/bullet), but my clitoris does not seem to respond right away, sometimes it can take up to an hour for me to climax/orgasm. My partner also does things to stimulate me and it feels good, but it just takes me so long. It feels like I do not have sensitivity in my clitoris. I get aroused and I get wet down there when I do get excited, is there something possibly wrong?

To my knowledge, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for a woman to remain vaginally active long past menopause without some kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It's unfortunate, but each of us must find our own path through trial and error. First off, menopause varies greatly. What many don't know is that more than half of all women in the USA have little to no uncomfortable symptoms. After all, it's a natural transition we all experience. Others suffer with hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, memory loss, etc., symptoms that will eventually pass. However, medical professionals along with our overzealous pharmaceutical companies have turned menopause into a deficiency that needs to be treated. Early ads for hormone replacement actually promised women a fountain of ever-lasting youth. Buyer beware!

Hi Betty!

It's so good to be able to discuss this with someone knowledgeable and forthright. I am 55 yrs. old and have been postmenapausal for 6 yrs. My clitoral area is often tender to the touch even though I do use an estrogen cream. This usually happens after enjoying some self pleasure. It is a problem because I want to have sex with my husband and also self pleasure more often but the discomfort is too distracting to achieve orgasm even though the desire is there. I have had the doctor check me for any infection and there is none. Right now I seem to only be able to enjoy sex 1-2 times a week because of this problem.

Dear Linda,