After hearing countless sex histories from girls and women over the past four decades, I believe sexual repression begins the moment a parent or caregiver punishes a child’s natural curiosity for touching their own sex organs.
Society needs to understand that the health of each person’s sexlife rests upon childhood masturbation— the foundation upon which all of human sexuality is based. It’s very consistent that each client I see struggling with orgasms as an adult has no memory of masturbating in childhood or in their teens. The absence of this natural self-exploration interferes with the development of nerve pathways that carry positive sensations from our genitals to the pleasure center in the brain. This blocks or slows down the development of sexual release with orgasm.
I've run out of things to try to fix my problem. Whenever I feel even a little pleasure in my genital region I have contractions and it's all over. I've been masturbating since I was 11, I'm 23 now. After a few years of masturbating my orgasms became so weak that I basically only had them to fall asleep easier. They haven't improved even with edging or not masturbating for several months.
I'm wondering if I'm even having orgasms. I have the signs of orgasm like contractions in my vagina and feeling relaxed afterwards.
Also I seem to have no erogenous zones, I've touched every part of my body in different ways, even my breasts aren't sensitive. Fingering my vagina doesn't do anything. all I can do is rub or put a vibrator on my clitoris.
Hi Dr. Betty,
I've had one really intense orgasm in my life (from masturbation), and I've been trying to make it happen again, but it just hasn't worked. I would reach points where I'm feeling a lot of pleasure, but nothing that felt anywhere close to the orgasm I had.
However, I've been reading some of your advice and responses to other women who've said they can't get over the "edge"- you've said that the "edge" simply doesn't exist, and that society and sexism had disillusioned women to the point where they're expecting orgasms to be super intense every time. Previously, I had disregarded this because I thought it didn't apply to me. I thought I had simply only ever had one orgasm, which felt exactly how I'd envisioned based on the media's portrayal of female orgasm.
Just before I ask my question I want to say how super awesome this website is!! I came across it when I was writing an essay for uni about sex and religion and followed some links to this site and I'm soo glad I did!! You guys are so inspiring and liberating :)
I've been reading a few of the posts on this page and it seems a few of them apply to me. I'm 20 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5 months. At the moment its more about me giving pleasure to him because I enjoy it more. When he stimulates me with fingers or tongue I make him stop because I feel embarrassed about not feeling anything or I can tell its going to go nowhere.
I am 19 years old and have just begun masturbating about a month ago. Your website with tips on how to masturbate for the first time have proved invaluable to me. I am so much more comfortable with myself and my sexuality than I ever was. I love my body and my vulva (especially my clitoris!!!)