can't orgasm

I'm sure this question has been brought up several times but I have to ask for myself...I spent 2.5 years in an abusive relationship when the main goal of sex was for my boyfriend to orgasm, not me. I was just used to letting him use me to get his nut off. I thought I was passed that when I had sex with my next partner and had orgasms no problem. Now I'm in another serious relationship, my next relationship since the bad one, and I can't consistently have an orgasm.

I'm a virgin, but I think about sex a lot. Boys aren't attracted to me (I'm straight) and erotica provides no release. I've tried masturbating, but no matter what I do I can't orgasm although I get very wet. And when I touch my clitoris no matter how light or if I move in small circles, take my time or indirectly rub, it doesn't feel at all pleasurable or arousing. It feels weird I guess, but not good. When I was a child I discovered that if my bladder was full and I applied pressure it felt very good.

Hello!

I sure hope you can help! I am 20 years old and have never been able to orgasm, or even feel like I have come close! I have tried to take advice from friends (since that always works great), but still with no result. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have been having sex for 3. He is very understanding and tells me to just relax, and masturbate, and we try all kinds of different things. He is determined to make me cum. But when I masturbate I get bored and tired, and in sex if we keep at it for too long it just becomes too uncomfortable for me! I still enjoy sex even if I don't orgasm, and my BF would stimulate me all night if he had too, but I start to feel bad. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids. Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand. Here's what happened. The first time- I felt nothing for about 10 minutes, but I persisted when I normaly would have stopped, and after a while I began feeling pressure and some sensual feelings. I tried rocking my hips and squeezing my thighs, all the while pressing down on my clitoris hard with the wand on Low. I felt extremely strong pressure like I needed to pee- and then a liquid came out all over the bed, which I guess was urine. This scared me so I stopped.

Help me please, Doctor Betty!

My new partner, whom I adore, struggles for his orgasm. I was married to a man with a larger cock (8inches, filled me, hurt sometimes) and my new man has a much smaller one. I feel guilty all the time and am frantically doing pelvic floor exercises! I frequently suggest anal sex, assuming he needs something a little 'tighter'. My gorgeous man is very sexually experienced and I am now expressing my sexuality and enjoying threesomes with him and he loves to watch me with other women, but now I can't relax and enjoy our threesome sex as I'm thinking...is she tighter than me? Does he enjoy her more than me? Can you give me some reassurance about my vagina and my ability to please my man? I've never had this problem before.

Dear Betty,

Okay, I am 42 years old and I have had 1 orgasm in my life, which was while I was still a virgin at 18 yrs old!! It was so overwhelming, I fainted afterwards. My boyfriend at the time and I were just making out in his car, I was riding his leg, and pretty soon this feeling started overtaking me, and he wouldn't let me stop riding his leg....and voila...my orgasm. From what I remember, it was amazing. Now I am 42 and haven't had one since then.

In the past three years, I have developed a very annoying problem that has greatly interferred with my sexual relationship with my boyfriend. When my clitoris is touched either orally, manually or with a vibrator, the clitoral hood becomes swollen and covers my clitoris to the point where I can't achieve orgasm. I need the direct contact and am no longer getting It. Would a female circumcision help? I think it would....but what is the cause of the swelling. I never had it before. I am 55 and have not had a period for 4 years.

Hello, I am super embarrassed to even ask this, but ok I am 20 years old and I lost my virginity when I was 16, and I have had 7 partners and still none of them have been able to give me an orgasm, I have had plenty orgasms through the clitoris through masturbation, but never have I been able to reach one during intercourse through my g spot. I think I am just scared and do not let it happen, but I am sooo sexually frustrated.

Hello

I know you must get hundreds of questions - your reputation even here in the UK is amazing. I have never been able to orgasm through sex or masturbation. I rarely try with my fingers but even when I try with a vibrator - nothing. What happens is that I get to the point when I feel 'contractions' - like something is going to happen and then the feeling goes away. I have been to psychosexual councelling briefly - but was told that there was nothing wrong and had no further sessions. This really is having a massive effect on my life - I feel like I have sex out of duty because I don't get anything out of it - and I just don't feel normal. And most of all I feel like I am missing out on something amazing. As i get to the 'point' - I just need to go that extra few steps. I really hope it is nothing physical - I just don't know. Please help me!

Hi Betty,

I've been with my current boyfriend, monogamously, for about a year and a half now. Achieving orgasm during sex with him hasn't really been a huge problem up until two months ago. That's not to say that I got off all the time; it was either I did, or I didn't come but still enjoyed the closeness of it. Then suddenly I've been having spells where I wouldn't get off during sex for many consecutive sessions. I would get really close so many times, but somehow couldn't reach it even given 30 minutes. I've been trying to do everything I can to fix it, and I know they all say that the first step is using masturbation to find out what you like, but the kicker is that I have NEVER orgasmed through masturbation. I've tried and tried and while I can make it feel good, it's just not enough to put me over the edge.

Dear Dr. Betty,

My name is Katie and I'm 23 years old. I used to be highly orgasmic as a teenager and always wanted sex. For the last several years, however, I've experienced so many problems that I just don't know what to do: chronic vaginitis for two years and extreme dryness, and most recently I haven't been able to orgasm at all with my boyfriend or by myself with a vibrator (on high settings it can take over 45 minutes) and I never want sex.