Wife Has No Sex Drive After Menopause

My wife and I have not had sex for over six months. I am 65 and she is 58. She is going through (or has gone through) menopause. It was tough for her. Terrible hot flahses. She still has occasional hot flashes. About three years ago she had her ovaries removed. They were not cancerous, just a "problem" according to her OB-GYN. Her vagina has dried up and it is very painful for her to have sex. I have tried K-Y Jelly, but that has not helped. We used to make love about once a week. By all signs my wife enjoyed sex. She did not have orgasism during when I was in her, but I would usually bring her to orgasism by mouth and then enter her and come. Last year we only had sex about 3 times. We have talked about it. She says that her libido is gone. She had no desire for sex. Also it is painful for her. I have asked her about jerking me off when I need it and she said that is no poblem, but when "it" comes up, she never lends a "hand." I end up masterbating about twice a week, but I would really like help my wife solve the problems she is having and enjoy sex with her again. Do you have any advise for me?

Thanks

Dear MG,

You and a million other men are dealing with a similar problem. Big Pharma has given senior men erections that their senior wives can't use due to vaginal atrophy which is absolutely normal after menopause. Break down the word...men-on-pause. If she wants to have vaginal penetration again, she will need to take some kind of hormone replacement. Check out my essay "Hormone Replacement: One Sexologists Experience" by using our search engine. Meanwhile, investing in a Magic Wand electric vibrator and encouraging her to enjoy masturbation by getting my book "Sex for One" would help. Only if she is interested. Her clitoris is still functioning but she has to engage it herself. 58 is still quite young. Also my book "Orgasms for Two" talks about my sexlife in my seventies. You might end up enjoying sharing masturbation, oralsex and massage.

Dr. Betty