Why Can't I Orgasm?

I'm a virgin, but I think about sex a lot. Boys aren't attracted to me (I'm straight) and erotica provides no release. I've tried masturbating, but no matter what I do I can't orgasm although I get very wet. And when I touch my clitoris no matter how light or if I move in small circles, take my time or indirectly rub, it doesn't feel at all pleasurable or arousing. It feels weird I guess, but not good. When I was a child I discovered that if my bladder was full and I applied pressure it felt very good. Recently I realized that that pressure stimulates my clitoris and makes it feel hardened as long as it's applied. My directly or indirectly stimulating it doesn't get nearly the same effect. Is something wrong with me? Why can't I orgasm?

Dear A,

Although I don't know your age, I'm assuming you are fairly young. Also I don't know how long you have been trying to create an orgasm or what you think an orgasm feels like. Some of my clients who came to see me were having small ones but could not identify what was happening in their bodies due to exaggerated notions of an orgasm.

Go to "First Time Orgasm" on the website using our search engine Follow my step by step suggestions. Try stimulating your clitoris with a finger inside your vagina. Since you are a virgin which means no vaginal penetration, it would be a good idea to begin to explore your vagina in preparation for an eventual partner. Read my info under "Betty's Vaginal Barbell" and locate you PC muscle and then use it while you are stimulating your clitoris with oil. Never touch your vulva with a dry hand or expect you own lubrication to be adequate, It can be thin and dry out quickly. If nothing else, invest in my book "Sex for One" and get a good bottle of clean massage oil.

Keep practicing and eventually your body will respond. I don't believe there is anything wrong with you, but you can always check in with your health care provider. Meanwhile keep practicing.

Dr. Betty