Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Betty,
I started masturbating at around the age of 11 (by grinding against a bunched up towel!). From what I remember I never orgasmed from this, but it felt good. I went through a period between 16-21 where I rarely, rarely touched myself. I was put on antidepressants a year ago which actually gave me a libido for the first time in YEARS, but still no orgasm. I've been off antidepressants now around a couple of months.

My problem is that whenever I stimulate my clitoris - either by vibrator, on top during sex, or by very rigorous hand rubbing (I could only get to this point of sensation with my hands once), I get to the stage where I'm just beginning to get lost in the rhythm of it when I get spasms in my limbs (not my vagina from what I can tell) and a sort of painful oversensitivity, so much so that I can continue touching myself. I feel no sense of release, just this sudden pain. Do you have any idea, Betty, what might be causing this pain?
Have you got any advice about what I can do about this? I'm very scared that I'm anorgasmic. Is the pain because I left my clitoris lonely for so many years? Thank you Betty.

Lots of love to you and Carlin xxx

Dear L,

Your childhood masturbation technique of relying on pressure is quite average. You most likely were having small orgams or your wouldn't have continued. Something must have happened that scared you into stopping genital contact.You are NOT anorgasmic a medical term I dislike. Feminists say "pre-orgasmic. I'm sure nothing is wrong with you except confusion about what an orgasm is all about. My book "Orgasms for Two" would be very helpful right now.
I'm glad to hear you're off anti-depressants. I believe you are having small orgasms and are unable to identify what's happening.

Welcome to America's Puritan's Club of no sex education or information. Getting lost in the rhythm with spasms in your limbs sounds good. Many women do not feel spasms in their vagina or uterus, especially at first. Your hyper sensitive genitals is another sign that you've had an orgasm. The clitoris had 8,000 nerve endings and after she comes, you need to lighten up. Your "pain" is just your clit telling you to back off. I'm sure your sweet little clit is thrilled you're back in touch with her. Read First Time Orgasm on our site and get the book and perhaps the Orgasm Doctor DVD. Time to educate yourself about women's sexuality.

Dr. Betty