Takes Me Over an Hour to Orgasm with Shower Head

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 08:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

hi betty,

i am 22 years old and have just recently started to have orgasms again. my first orgasm was when i was 19 years old, it took forever, but the man i was with was very experienced and patient. oh, and i was stoned. it only happened that one time, and i haven't been able to orgasm with a man since. however, upon discovering this mind blowing pleasure, i began masturbating with a shower head. it would normally take between 45 minutes to an hour and a half!

then i went on paxil, and my orgasms stopped. it didn't matter how much time i took, i could not orgasm. no real pleasure for over 2 years! so recently i went off of the medication and i have been able to orgasm again-hallelujah! but...it takes at least an hour and i have to use a shower head.

i have never been able to get myself off using my hand or a vibrator, and my boyfriend is extremely frustrated because he can not make me come. as great as it is to be able to orgasm again, i feel like it's really taking away from our relationship by not being able to come from my boyfriend. or even help him to get there! because i just don't know how. am i only going to be able to come from a showerhead? and will it always take this damn long?!

Dear R,

Congratulations on coming off the anti-depressant. Big Pharma does not have our best interests at heart. Too often. it's all about making a bigger profit.

I suggest you read either one of my books. Once you learn to use a vibrator, you can have orgasms on dry land. The Heartbreaker would be a good beginning vibe. Also use the search engine and go to "First Time Orgasm." Follow my step by step process. Taking an hour or more is how many women enjoy sex. Stop using the male model. They can get off in a few minutes so if we take much longer we think something is wrong.

What's wrong is that we do not fully undestand female sexuality. Most of us do not come from vaginal penetration. And then we worry that our boyfriends are upset because they can't "make" us come. Why on earth would that "take away" anything other than deflating a man's over blown ego? Why do they think they are the creators of our orgasms? My position on this is that we are each responsible for our own orgasms. He is getting the ideal form of stimulation inside your vagina, and your clitty wants the shower head. However, if you can train clitty to respond to a vibrator, you can share your orgasms. My book "Orgasms for Two" shows how to incorporate a vibrator into partnersex.

Dr. Betty