Is My Vagina Too Loose?

Dear Doctor Betty

I am a very sexual person, and (9 years ago) when i lost my virginity, it literally look weeks and weeks of trying before i was able to properly lose my virginity (and break the hymen) my bf could only insert one finger into me at a time, and i was told i was very tight during intercourse. I gave birth to my son 7 years ago, and (with lack of education) and suffering from Post natal depression and just not caring about myself, i had never heard of Kegel excersizes, so I didnt do them. About a year after giving birth, i had some sexual contact with a man (just fingers, not intercourse) and he commented later (after breaking up so im not sure if it was a spiteful comment) about how loose I was down there, and that it was disgusting :(

I stayed single and barely masturbated, for the next 6 years..only in the last year i have bought myself some vibrators and begun loving myself again....I dont seem to feel really loose, i can feel them going in, with some resistance as they enter, and moving in and out etc, if i squeeze the muscles on my fingers, i do feel them tightening, not tightly, but i feel it...I am now dating a wonderful man, i am sure he would never judge me etc, but i am very self consious about myself being loose down there...im only 25, and i dont want to worry when the time comes...im trying to do my kegels as i remember to, but im just wondering, is there any other kind of test i can do to see if i really am loose? should i speak to my doctor and ask her? Sex with toys feels great to me, I guess im just worried..sorry this was so long! ty xx

Dear N,

Sounds to me like the jerk who said you were too loose "down there" was pissed off cause you wouldn't fuck him. Who cares what he said. After 6 years of ignoring your sexuality, you are now back on track. Go to Betty's Vaginal Barbell and read my instructions on how best to do your Kegel exercises. If you put your finger inside your vagina and feel the muscle contract, you're most likely just fine. I hope you are not trying to have your orgasms from vaginal penetration alone. It just doesn't work for most of us. Be sure to read "First Time Orgasm" and follow my step by step suggestions. Your clitoris is you primary organ of pleasure so include it when you are doing penetration. My book "Orgasms for Two" would give you more information about how to enjoy sex with another person. It's time for you to stop worrying and to enjoy sex with yourself and your new partner.

Dr. Betty