Marylou Naccarato Our New Blogger Covering Disability and Sex

Tue, 06/09/2009 - 15:48
Submitted by Anonymous

Betty and I wanted to introduce our new blogger Marylou Naccarato.  We met at AASECT, she's amazing, and she'll be covering the range of issues regarding sensuality and intimacy for people with short stature and disabilities. Here's her first post responding to a woman who's disabled and waking up her sex drive:

Hello my name is Rocio,

Just wanted to introduce myself since I am a new member, I am 33 year old woman. Just kind of waking up my sex drive again after a long hiatus. I am disabled and use a manual wheelchair, and I am just staring to realize wheelchair or not I am a sexy hot mama, and I am owning it.

Dear Rocio,

I think you are having an affair and don't want to admit it! Actually I think everyone should have an affair...seriously! I often ask people with a wry smile... "are you having an affair?" I get a confused look like...what are you saying??

An affair I said! An affair with yourself! Duh. (winking with a smile) Falling in love with yourself and your life is a wonderful affair. You have the power to create your dream and fulfill your destiny. Now you're probably thinking, ok, what's this got to do with disability and sex? It has everything to do with it. When we live passionately in our daily life, we feel more sensual. We naturally projects these traits to our intimate life. It enhances YOU. It wakes you up. You become more attractive to those around you because they can feel your inner sensual radiance and they want to be a part of it.

Now is the perfect time to re-discover your body. As a disabled person, knowing your own body intimately is an absolute must! Take the time to lovingly caress yourself and note what really turns you on. You may have heightened erogenous zones in the most unlikely places such as parts of your face, neck, and the underside of your arms. Also, you may have sensitive areas from scar tissue, bone rods, pins and screws. These areas can be tender to the touch, numb, or sensitive to heat and cold. Do yourself and your partner a favor by disclosing a road map of your body's sensitive and painful areas to avoid any potentially wrong turns.

Body image is such a scary and sensitive topic for many people living with a disability. Feelings from being treated as an asexual, meaning a person of no sexual desire during a lifetime of medical challenges and for those who acquired a disability through an accident or injury is not uncommon. The cool reality is....that our limited range of mobility offers a wonderful opportunity to dialogue with your partner about what is pleasurable to each other and to discover new ways of giving pleasure. Ultimately the real sensual experience is the heightened emotional and intimate connection you have with yourself and/or your partner.

Thank you for sharing your happy wake up call with us. You go girl and be sure to flaunt your affair!

Marylou :)


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Tue, 06/09/2009 - 22:53

This is an important addition to the discourse about sexuality. Living with a back injury which, depending on the day, can interfere with intimacy I am accutely aware of how disability can have an effect on one's sexual life. I look forward to reading your contributions.

As an aside, I am presently finishing my BA in Sociology. I have focused as many courses as I could on issues of  sex, gender, and sexuality.

You will be a welcomed provider.

tom.penry's picture
Wed, 06/10/2009 - 12:55

The elderly face many of the same issues as the disabled. Isolation, caregiver indifference and other issues. Anything you can do to help will be greatly appreciated. I have found it difficult to encourage these groups to open up and get a life. I look forward to your blogs.