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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Ask Betty ›

Isn't Penetration Supposed to be Enjoyable?

Published August 6th by Betty Dodson
in

I'm 19 years old and I don't enjoy sex. Ever since I lost my virginity at 16 i've had 3 partners and have not been able to have enjoyable sex with any of them. Every time I have been well lubricated, so I don't think that is the problem. I already went to my gynocologist twice on this issue and she pretty much did not have anything useful to tell me other than that all my sexual pleasure will come from my clitoris. Not that I completely disagree with that, but isn't penetration supposed to be somewhat enjoyable?? Its not the issue of not being able to have an orgasm, because there is no pleasure in my vagina to begin with. Please help!!! This is very frustrating/depressing!! It is such a let down to get turned on and then when me and my boyfriend move onto sex, I know it won't be enjoyable. It almost makes me want to not even bother.

Dear E,

Your doctor is right except I'd say MOST of your pleasure will come from your clitoris. However, it's really nice to have vaginal penetration at the same time. Next time you have sex with your boyfriend, stimulate your clitoris like you do when you masturbate while he is moving his penis inside your vagina. He could do your clit, but most well meaning guys fail to do it well enough for it to work for us. This information is in my book "Orgasms for Two." You could read it with him.

Dr. Betty

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My girlfriend could not

Submitted by Anonymous User (not verified) on Sat, 08/15/2009 - 09:19.

My girlfriend could not achieve orgasm through penetration (with anyone) until recently. It really depends on your partner. What I did in the mean time, because sex is no fun if she doesnt cum, I had her lay on her side with her head resting on a pillow and, if she was laying on her left,my right leg would between her thighs. In this position I could penetrate her deeply (even too deep), my left hand would be free to do whatever and everything, my right hand would be at task stimulating her clit. Also this was a very easy position for her to be in, almost a sleeping position with no weight on top of her.
[usseemraescpter]

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