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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Ask Betty ›

If I Ejaculated, Did I Orgasm?

Published November 21st, 2009 by Betty Dodson
in

Hi Dr. Dodson,

I am a 30-year-old woman who has never achieved orgasm. I decided that it was time that I did. So I bought a pocket rocket clitoral vibrator. I have used it several times, and I have ejaculated....but I don't feel like I have "come." Isn't an orgasm supposed to feel like a sense of release? I'm very confused. Please help!

S

Dear S,

Go to "First Time Orgasm" on the website and follow my step by step procedure. Give yourself some time to connect your clitoral sensations to the pleasure center in your brain. You're hooking up an amazing complex of neurons so be patient. Personally I don't think the pocket rocket is the best first time vibrator. The Heart Breaker or Mystic Wand would be better.

Ejaculating or squirting does not necessarily indicate you have had orgasm. Also feeling a sense of release doesn't either. Many women are just getting warmed up with the first orgasm and will want to continue. Ask yourself what you think an orgasm is like then erase that from your expectations. Just take you time and enjoy the good feelings and forget about coming. That approach will eventually lead you to an orgasm.

Dr. Betty

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no orgasim/no sex drive

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 00:35.

I am a 25 year old female, married for 2 years and together with my husband for 9 years. We have only been with eachother sexually and i have never experienced an orgasim and no longer have ANY sex drive. Our relationship is great, the only thing we are majorly lacking is a good sex life. I do not masturbate, never had, and do not have the urge to do so or would know where to start, please help.

betty replies to no orgasim/no sex drive

Submitted by Betty Dodson on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 17:08.

 

 My Dear Woman,

You start by reading the answer I gave to the woman above. You also have an entire website with dodsonandross that's devoted to women's sexualilty with an emphasis on masturbation and female orgasm. You are not alone! Literally millions of young women have been trown to monstrous beast of abstinance only with no comprehensive sex education. Now you can begin to learn about all the marvelous things your body can experience. Time to have a passionate love affair with yourself.

Dr. Betty

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