I Think I'm Having a Rape Flashback

Hello,

I have been having issues when I am with my partner, or by myself and I cry. I haven't had an orgasm in 4 years. (Now watching your video I know that I have had little ones) I have had much intercourse and great orgasms when I was in the military, and for the most part didn't have a problem. (Although it may have been more to fill the hole of loneliness). I am not on birth control (tried for a couple of days and I would have rivaled satan).

I would cry for one reason or another, (mostly over the fact that I couldn't come or that it was his fault) but after reading one of your articles I was excited! I felt empowered! And was that way for a
while into the session. There was times that I laughed so hard I almost cried. Until I went to putting my legs over the side of the bed, and within a minute I was curled into a ball very scared remembering the first time my boy friend "talked me into it."

I tried to talk my self through it being very understanding, but it didn't really work. I ended up getting more upset. Many years after we had parted we talked about it and it never really bothered me till now. Please if you have any advice or can send some information that would be wonderful.

Dear K,

You had a flashback to something that happened to your in the past that nearly every woman has experienced to some degree or other: a boyfriend talks us into "going all the way." We surrender for a gazillion different reasons; lonliness, curiosity, desire, wanting to be loved, etc. If you find you can't get on the other side of this, then some short term counseling might be helpful. Also there are books available offering guidance for women who have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Yours is a very mild case and you might be crying for something else altogether. What was you role in the military. I could cry everytime I think that America's number one business is WAR.

However, my position on sexual abuse is for more women to realize that the way sexuality is handled in this fuckless Puritanical society of ours is that we have all had some kind of sexual abuse. None of us escapes. The one I'm fighting my Dear Sister Soldier is that we do not get adequate sex information or education. We are taught a ridiculous male centered penis in vagina kind of sex that simply does not produce an orgasm for the general population of women. Turn those tears into some kind of action and liberate youself.

Dr. Betty