I've been masturbating face down( laying on my stomach rubbing against mattresses, socks, pillows, blankets, etc.) since I was about 11, or as long as i can remember. The reason I originally started to masturbate this way was because i found i got nopleasure out of stimulating my clitoris. I figured I just wasn't doing it right and would learn how too later.
Recently I visited a website( healthystrokes.com) that told me it was unhealthy to masturbate face down. They said it was called TMS( Tramatic Masturbatory Syndrome) your a doctor, is this true?( the site says the disorder is most common in men, but can occur in females) I think this theory might be true because it says that the way i currently masturbate puts too much pressure on my clit, thus losing it's sensitivity. I'm really scared becasue I still find absoulutely no pleasure in rubbing my clit. I've tried everything. I even read that "First Time Orgasm" article you wrote. I'm scared because this theory (TMS) hypotheiszes that when I'm older I still won't get pleasure from my clit? I've had orgasms before, but why can't I have one when stimiulating my clit. Bottom line, I think I can't stimulate my clit, because I've been putting too much pressure on it while masturbating face down.
So I've decided to masturbate on my back using my fingers, rubbing my clit. I won't insert my fingers into my vagina because I'm still a virgin and would like to keep it that way and i won't use a vibrator because i can't get one legally. My only desperate question to you is how do I get my clit to respond to me. Must I wait a while? I've tried gently rubbing my clit to see if it would respond, it still hasn't. I've tried to give myself time to get used to this new masturbating method. Do I have to wait months for my clitoris to regain sensitvity? Or should I try touching it everyday even though I feel ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I may be aroused and wet, but my clit does nothing? One more thing, does masturbation cause you to have a loose vagina when you get older. Do girls who abstain from masturbation have generally tighter vagina's? Please offer me advice, I'm stuck!
Signed a confused young girl
My dear girl what you suspect about Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is not your problem. It primarily applies to men. One young man I know personally had to practice for a year before he could masturbate by hand, but it eventually worked. In all my years as a clinical sexologist, (I'm not a medical doctor) I have seen many women who masturbate on their tummies. Their complaint was that it didn't translate well into having sex with a partner. Since you are still a virgin in your early teens, now is a good time to roll over and continue to practice until your clitty does respond. Be sure to use some kind of clean massage oil with no chemicals or perfume. During your transition period, it's okay to go back to old faithful ocasionally so you can still enjoy an orgasm from time to time. Be patient. When you say, "I've had orgasms before, but why can't I have one when stimiulating my clit?" What were you doing then? Whether It takes several months or years, it's worth your time and effort.
Also using your fingers to explore your vagina now is a good idea. Masturbation will not make your vaginal barrel tighter or looser. That's the pelvic floor muscle. Read the info that goes with my Vaginal Barbell and discover your PC muscle. (To locate it stop the flow of urine a few times.) Instead of waiting until your boyfriend tries to get his penis inside which can be painful and embarassing for both of you, it's better to be prepared by taking charge of your own vaginal penetration now. This will not interfere with your virginity which means different things to different people. It's your sex organ not his, or your parents, nor does it belong to your church. It is all yours. Continue with the mirror work I recommend in First Orgasm. The more you love your vulva and your body, the happier your sexlife will be. Now stop worrying and enjoy your beautiful young life.